Cars - Gary Numan

We are a nation of car lovers and research from Auto Trader said that nearly 1 in 5 Brits give their car a pet name, and over 1 in 10 people agree that a car can make a person more attractive, with 11% admitting that they’re in love with their car. Well that’s what the internet says and I only looked following a couple hours of cleaning the two cars in the ‘Coleman Household Fleet’.

We have two cars, a larger family car, and a smaller run around which if you know me, you’ve probably seen. Both are used daily, mainly to shepherd children from A to B across Cardiff and are hence full of various spent items of food and the odd bit of rubbish. I’m sure you can imagine.
 
And after a couple of hours, both were antiseptically clean and as near to original to their original condition as I could make them. Now, I’m not one to have super expensive cars - I mean, why invest in a depreciating asset? They are in fact two very much middle of the road, French cars – enough said.
 
So, whilst cleaning said cars, it got me thinking what does having a clean car say about you – not what model. And depending on the context and how others might perceive them here are some thoughts.
 
Attention to Detail
It suggests that you pay attention to details and care about your belongings.
 
Responsibility
Maintaining a clean car can reflect a sense of responsibility and pride in ownership.
 
Professionalism
In some settings, like work or business, a clean car might indicate that you value appearances and professionalism.
 
Organisation
It may suggest that you are an organised and tidy person, extending the same care to other areas of your life.
 
Respect for Others
If you often have passengers, a clean car can show that you care about their comfort and experience.
 
Self-Presentation
People might perceive you as someone who values personal hygiene and cleanliness in general.
 
Of course, these interpretations vary based on context and culture, but overall, a clean car generally leaves a positive impression – and if it is, congratulations as you tick all the boxes but if it’s a farmyard you might want to up your game and take it for a well-earned Spring-clean.

1,205 Marathons - 285 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - 2 Clean Cars

Doubt - Jesus Jones

Self-doubt affects people in many different ways throughout their lives. It’s the internal voice that questions your abilities, decisions, and self-worth, often leaving you feeling inadequate and insecure. Whilst occasional self-doubt is a natural response to challenges or uncertainty, persistent self-doubt can limit growth, affect relationships, and hold you back from achieving your potential. Understanding its origins and learning how to manage it are essential for overcoming this common complaint.

The Roots of Self-Doubt
Self-doubt often stems from past experiences, comparisons, or peer pressure. Negative past experiences, such as failure or criticism, can leave long-lasting scars that influence how you see yourself today. If you’ve been told you’re ‘not good enough’ or have faced repeated setbacks, those moments can fuel a pattern of self-defeat. I remember being asked at school ‘why I was so thick when my brother was so clever’ – that stuck with me.
 
As you can see, comparison is often a major contributor. In today’s age of social media, it’s easy to measure yourself against the highs of others’ people’s lives. Seeing others succeed can lead to feelings of inadequacy, even when your own journey is progressing well.
 
Societal and cultural expectations also play a role in building self-doubt. The pressure to meet certain standards, whether in appearance, career, or in achievements, can create a fear of failing. This fear can spiral into doubt, making it difficult to recognise your own strengths and accomplishments.
 
The Impact of Self-Doubt
Persistent self-doubt can have a profound effect on mental health and overall well-being. It often leads to a fear of failure, which results in procrastination or avoidance of challenges altogether – you know what I think of procrastination! You may find yourself stuck in a cycle of inaction, too afraid to take risks and afraid to try new things.
 
It also erodes self-esteem, making it harder to trust your own judgment. In relationships, self-doubt might cause you to second-guess your worthiness of love or connection, creating unnecessary tension or insecurity. In the workplace, it can manifest as imposter syndrome, where you feel like you’re faking your success and in fear being ‘exposed’ as inadequate.
 
Strategies to Overcome Self-Doubt

Recognise and Challenge Negative Thoughts
The first step in overcoming self-doubt is identifying when it arises. Pay attention to negative self-talk and ask yourself whether those thoughts are based on facts or unfounded fears. Reframing negative thoughts into positive or neutral ones can help shift your perspective.
 
Focus on Your Strengths and Achievements
Make a habit of reflecting on your accomplishments, no matter how small they might seem. Writing them down can serve as a reminder of your capabilities during moments of doubt.
 
Set Realistic Goals
Break tasks into manageable steps and celebrate progress along the way. Achieving smaller milestones can build confidence and provide a sense of accomplishment.
  
Seek Support
Talking to friends, family, or a Coach can provide valuable perspective and encouragement. Sometimes, an outside viewpoint can help you see your strengths more clearly.
 
Embrace Failure as Growth
Instead of fearing failure, view it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Mistakes don’t define you - they’re simply part of the process.
 
While self-doubt is a natural part of the human mind, it doesn’t have to define your journey. By recognising its traits, addressing its impact, and using strategies to build confidence, you can overcome self-doubt and unlock your full potential. Remember, self-belief is a skill that can be nurtured with time and practice, and that you are far more capable than you realise – Amen.

1,205 Marathons - 285 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - 0 Doubts

Tomorrow Never Knows - The Beatles

Ah it's far too easy to do things tomorrow, and if you are one of life's procrastinators then please read on without delay!

I believe if you say you'll do it tomorrow, well it'll never get done. You are only prolonging the agony of ripping off the sticking plaster. Be it a tricky conversation, doing some much needed DIY or going out for that run/walk/crawl/swim/cycle/gym session - you'll know that IF you do get off your arse and go and do it, it'll make you feel a whole lot better about yourself.

I mean if your car is broken or a delivery is late, I'm sure, like me, you are the first one to pick up the phone and grapple with the person at the other end in playing your 'speedy boarding pass'.

So why aren't you doing this, with yourself?

It's just excuses. A get-out-of-being-active-card, played over and over again. When in reality, you KNOW you are letting yourself go or down, or go and down perhaps.

In this world, my friend, nothing gets done if you don't make it happen.

There's no divine intervention and no lottery ticket prize - it's your world and your world to be disappointed with, unless you make a conscious decision to change it.

Start by getting out of bed - early - super early and use some of the time you say you haven't got to spare. Write down some actions as bullets - (at least three) and put them on the fridge - as that will stop some of the other nonsense you give into too. 

Then see how far you can go, find out where the limits are and enjoy the process. And after a while you'll be someone that dislikes procrastinating and procrastinators just as much as I do.

C'MON - Let's go...

1,205 Marathons - 285 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - 1 Direction

Keep Talking - The Pink Floyd

I spend most of my working days talking. I’m very lucky to be invited into so may people’s lives. And during those conversations, there’s a connection of minds, where relationships are built, Ideas exchanged, tears sometimes flow, problems are solved, values are shared, thoughts are articulated, and actions made.

 

Conversation is a fine art – sometimes a lost art, especially in relationships and work situations. I mean when the speaking stops, what’s left – possibly anger, resentment and loss. 

 

Keeping the dialogue going is essential because it plays a fundamental role in human connection, learning, and collaboration. Here are the main reasons why conversation is so important:

 

Builds Relationships

Conversations help establish and deepen bonds between people, whether in friendships, family, or professional settings. They allow, understanding, and emotional intimacy.

 

Exchanging Ideas

Through conversation, we share thoughts, knowledge, and perspectives, which can lead to learning and personal growth. It encourages creativity and innovation by allowing ideas to bounce back and forth.

 

Emotional Support

Talking about feelings, challenges, or achievements provides an emotional release and helps people feel understood and supported. Conversations can be therapeutic; help reduce stress and build resilience.

 

Problem-Solving

Discussions are critical for resolving conflicts, brainstorming solutions, and making decisions collaboratively. Effective communication helps avoid misunderstandings and aligns goals.

 

Cultural and Social Connection

Conversations allow individuals to share traditions, values, and experiences, enriching cultural understanding and creating a sense of belonging.

 

Self-Expression

Talking helps individuals articulate their thoughts, clarify their beliefs, and express their identity. It builds confidence and helps people advocate for themselves.

 

Driving Action

Many achievements, from personal goals to societal progress, start with a meaningful conversation. It’s a tool for persuasion, motivation, and rallying others to a cause.

Conversation is the bridge that connects individuals, builds mutual understanding, and enables both personal and collective growth. And if you’d like a conversation – I’m only too happy to talk. 

1,205 Marathons - 285 Ultras - 17 MDS - 1 Mouth - 2 Ears

Lucky Man - The Verve

We often say ‘Good luck’ to people as they set off on a journey. But I mean, what is ‘luck’? And is ‘luck’ actually something we can bring onto ourselves or is ‘luck’ a pure case of the planets lining up in one’s favour. 

Luck is often perceived as the result of chance. Random, uncontrollable events that happen without a specific cause or intention. However, there’s a deeper perspective to consider, as ‘luck’ can also be influenced by mindset, behaviour, and circumstances. 

 

There’s chance, where luck is entirely out of our control - like winning the lottery or being in the right place at the right time. It’s purely a matter of probabilities.

 

‘Luck’ as ‘Preparation meeting opportunity’ where people can create their own ‘luck’ by being proactive, prepared, and open to new experiences. Say where someone who networks widely or constantly builds their skills sets might appear ‘lucky’ when an opportunity arises but were actually prepared to seize it.

 

People with a ‘lucky’ mindset tend to notice opportunities more readily and view challenges as potential stepping stones. This optimistic mindset can make them appear ‘luckier’. Conversely, those who focus on setbacks or feel ‘unlucky’ might miss out on chances that others would see as fortunate. 

 

Of course, where you’re born, your social connections, and access to resources can significantly influence the likelihood of experiencing ‘good luck.’ And whilst some aspects of ‘luck’ are truly random, a significant part of it often stems from how you interact with the world and respond to life’s opportunities.

 

As my Grandma used to say to me ‘Think lucky and you’ll be lucky’, and how right she was.

 

‘Good Luck’…

1,205 Marathons - 285 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - 1 Lucky Man

The In-Crowd - Roxy Music

I thought I’d share some thoughts about weight-loss in a group setting. As a Lifestyle and Performance Coach, diet is very much part of people’s journey with me and over the years, there have been some amazing transformations. My current ‘group’ are some 111kgs (17st 6lbs) lighter than when they started working with me. And I say this as a ‘group’ as the real success has been the WhatsApp group which they are part of. Sure, they have the one-to-one relationship with me as their coach, but whatever their goal is, being part of that group has been really useful.

We all know that losing weight is a challenging journey, requiring not just physical effort but also mental resilience and a considered lifestyle change. Whilst individual motivation and discipline are crucial, research and real-life experiences suggest that losing weight in a group setting can be significantly more effective. This effectiveness stems from various psychological, social, and practical factors that come into play when people work together towards a common goal. Being part of a group leads to better outcomes, sustained success, and a more enjoyable experience overall.

 

Social Support and Accountability

 

One of the most powerful benefits of a group is the social support that people provide to each other. The process of losing weight can be lonely and frustrating, particularly when progress is slow, or the dreaded weight-gain occurs. In a group, people share their experiences, struggles, and triumphs with others who are going through similar challenges. This shared experience creates a sense of camaraderie and understanding, making it easier to stay in motivation city.

 

Moreover, being part of a group introduces a level of accountability that is often missing with solo efforts. When individuals know they have to report their progress to a group, it can increase their commitment to their goals. The desire not to disappoint others or appear as if they are not trying hard enough can push individuals to adhere more closely to their weight loss plans. This accountability is a strong motivator, as it helps people stay on track, even during tough times when they might otherwise be tempted to give up.

 

Peer Power

 

Peer influence is another significant factor that makes group weight loss more effective. We’re social creatures, and are influenced by the behaviours, attitudes, and habits of those around us. In a group, positive behaviours, such as regular exercise, healthy eating, and consistent progress, can be contagious. When people see others succeeding, they are likely to feel inspired and motivated to achieve similar results.

 

Conversely, when someone in the group is struggling, the collective encouragement and advice from others can help them overcome  their problems. The group can offer practical tips, emotional support, and even a friendly nudge in the right direction, which can make a significant difference in that person’s ability to persevere.

 

Emotional and Psychological Benefits

 

The emotional and psychological benefits of a group are infinite. The journey to losing weight often involves overcoming deep-seated habits, emotional eating, and psychological barriers. Being part of a group that understands these challenges can be incredibly comforting and empowering.

 

People offer empathy, share coping strategies, and celebrate even the smallest of victories that might otherwise go unnoticed. For instance, someone might be struggling to see progress on the scales but has noticed improved energy levels, better sleep, or a drop in clothing size. In a group setting, these successes are recognised and celebrated, which boosts morale and reinforces positive behavioural changes.

 

Furthermore, the sense of belonging to a community can alleviate feelings of isolation or inadequacy that often accompany weight struggles. Knowing that others are facing similar challenges helps normalise the experience and reduces the stigma or shame that some individuals may feel about their size.

 

Competitive Spirit and Shared Goals

 

Another reason why losing weight in a group is effective is the element of healthy competition that often arises. Whilst the primary goal is to support each other, a little friendly competition can spur people to push themselves harder than they might do on their own.

 

This competitive spirit, when balanced with support, can lead to much better outcomes. People are often more motivated to perform well when they know others are watching and when there is a tangible goal to strive for. Additionally, setting shared goals as a group can create a unified sense of purpose and drive collective progress.

 

Improved Adherence and Sustainability

 

One of the biggest challenges in weight loss is maintaining long-term adherence to healthy habits. Many people who lose weight quickly regain it because they struggle to sustain the behaviours that led to their initial success.

 

People in a group are more likely to stick with their weight loss efforts because they feel a sense of responsibility not just to themselves, but also to their peers. The ongoing support and check-ins provided by the group can help individuals stay focused on their long-term goals, even after they have achieved their initial weight loss targets.

 

Moreover, the relationships formed in a group setting can lead to lasting social bonds that continue to provide support and encouragement long after they’ve reached their goal. These connections can be crucial in helping individuals navigate the challenges of maintaining their future weight.

 

Is it for ME?

 

Losing weight in a group setting works best because of the powerful combination of social support, accountability, peer influence, structured guidance, and emotional benefits that it provides. The sense of community, shared goals, and mutual encouragement found in a group makes the journey not only more successful but also more enjoyable. By capitalising on the collective strength of a group, people are more likely to overcome problems, stay motivated, and achieve lasting weight-loss results.

 

Does it really work?

 

Well, all I can tell you is that it does! And if you are trying to lose weight, control your drinking or run a PB - you’ll find it’s easier if you are part of a group. I’m consistently overwhelmed at the success of my simple Coleman Coaching ‘WhatsApp’ Group. It’s pinging a constant reminder of it’s part of my clients’ journeys to success.

 

Come and be part of it and see for yourself if. And if you are unsure I’ll let you ask anyone that’s in there what they think… 

1,205 Marathons - 285 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - 1 Life

Changes - David Bowie

Time may change me...

Things will change when you change…

Sounds kinda corny doesn’t it? But it’s true. You see, I believe folk expect the world around them to magically change for the better of its own doing - like some kind of magical lottery win where suddenly everything becomes perfect, all the planets are line up and the hurty-pain of life disappears, forever.

 

‘Dream on’, I say, as it’s never going to happen - especially if YOU are not prepared to make the change.

 

And how do YOU go about making the changes that will ease the pressure and lighten your load? Well that’s not so easy - and if it was, life would already be rosy wouldn’t it? But if you are in a dark place right now and think that the world is against you, why not take a more pragmatic view of where you find yourself and how you are perceived, as it’s easy to say that it’s not your fault and that you are a mere victim of circumstances.

 

Let’s break it into three parts. Honesty, De-Cluttering and Direction.

 

I mean, are you really being honest to yourself? Being self-critical at a time when others are criticizing you might be the last thing you want to take on-board but do the people you’ve surrounded yourself have a point when they highlight your failings. Do you still feel as driven in the career you once loved, since a fresh hierarchy has invaded your work-domain and dented your pride - maybe they have a point? They are probably being ‘Honest’. Everyone will say they want ‘Feedback’ but in reality, we all prefer ‘Praise’. I know it’s hard, been there – I’ve taken ‘Feedback’ on the chin - softened my message and got the T-Shirt. Take a long hard look at yourself, what do you really see?

 

Clutter. 

 

That’s what I see in other peoples’ worlds - and I see more worlds than most believe me. So much clutter in fact that it suffocates all the good that lies beneath. You see, we are a nation of hoarders both mental and physical. For instance, I’m just as bad as the next man as I’m not sure if I’ll wear my school cap I had when I was 11 ever again. It lives on in my wardrobe having escaped a trip to the tip on numerous occasions.  It’s been there for shelf for 50 years’ hoping for an outing but in truth that never will happen - it’s just baggage. 

 

Why do we hold onto so many things that are simply useless? Why do we hold onto so many thoughts that are just as useless? Take a trip to the tip - the Memory Tip. Get rid of things that just don’t matter anymore and move on.

 

And only when you’ve been honest and de-cluttered, real changes - the changes you are so desperate to make, will start to happen. Success isn’t measured by possessions or wealth; it’s measured by happiness - becoming and being the person that you know is within you, surrounded by the people you really want to be with.

 

In my own experience, the journey was possibly the most enjoyable part of my life-change. De-cluttering the present and mapping out a fresh and brighter future is amazingly empowering. I felt euphoric and finally back in control of my own destiny. How are you on - Honesty, De-Cluttering and Direction right now? 

 

‘Change happens when you change – so start making a change today’.

1,205 Marathons - 285 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - 1 Open Mind