Saturday, 15 February 2025

Home Sweet Home - Sir Peter of Gabriel


It’s only when you are away that you realise what you're missing...

Life has a strange way of teaching us lessons. Often, we take the people, places, and home comforts for granted until they’re gone. The Yellow Taxi song lyrics, ‘You don’t know what you you’ve got ‘til it’s gone’, ring so true, yet it’s only when we find ourselves distanced, whether physically or emotionally, that we truly grasp the significance of what’s been left behind. Whether it’s the warmth of home, the presence of loved ones, or even the smallest insignificant routine of daily life, being away it often brings true clarity to what really matters.

Home sweet home…

Home is more than just a physical place, it is a feeling of belonging, of security, and of familiarity. People grow up dreaming of leaving home, eager to explore the world and seek new experiences. However, the moment their new life begins, it’s then they realise what they’ve left behind.

The smell of home-cooking, the comfort of one’s own bed, and the simple, everyday interactions with family members suddenly become most precious. There’s a certain kind of warmth in hearing the familiar sounds of home - the ticking clock in the living room, the laughter of siblings, or even the nagging of parents. When you’re away, whether for work, study, or travel, these seemingly mundane aspects of home life take on a very sentimental value.

For many who move abroad, homesickness becomes a constant companion. Even cultural aspects such as food, language, or traditions begin to feel more significant. Being absent makes the longing thoughts grow louder, and in that longing, one then understands the irreplaceable concept of being at home.

The value of relationships…

Distance has a way of revealing the true importance of relationships. When we’re surrounded by family and friends, we often assume they will always be there. We may take their presence for granted, failing to appreciate their support, love, and companionship. However, when we’re separated, whether by geography, circumstances, or even personal differences, it becomes painfully clear just how much they mean to us.

Long-distance relationships are a real test of the strength of love and commitment between people. Couples who find themselves in different cities or countries quickly realise how much they miss the daily conversations, the shared laughter, or the simple act of holding hands. The absence of physical closeness amplifies emotions, making people treasure even the briefest moments of connection, whether through a phone calls or messages.

Friendships, too, undergo a transformation with distance. The friends we saw every day at school or work may now only exist online. Here we begin to understand that friendships are not just about having fun together but also about the comfort and support they provide.

Family relationships often gain deeper meaning with distance. Many people realise how much their parents sacrificed for them only after moving away.

The loss of routine and familiarity…

Routine is often seen as being mundane, something to break free from. Yet, when we step away from our usual patterns of life, we start to miss their comforting predictability. A morning coffee from the cafe on the corner, the familiar commute to work, the faces we see every day - these small routines shape our sense of stability.

When we move to a new place, everything feels unfamiliar. The streets are different, the language may be new, and even the way people interact can be a cultural shock. Whilst exciting at first, this unfamiliarity can also be disorienting. The simple ease of knowing where to go, who to turn to, and how things work becomes something we yearn for.

For students away at university or employees relocating for work, adapting to a new environment can be challenging. They often find themselves reminiscing about the very things they once found boring - family dinners, weekend gatherings, or even the predictability of their hometown. Then the realisation dawns that routine was not just routine, and it was a part one’s identity and comfort.

The impact of absence on self-discovery…

Being away doesn’t only make us miss things - it also helps us discover more about ourselves. The distance provides a unique opportunity for reflection and self-awareness. When removed from our usual surroundings, we gain a fresh perspective on what truly matters.

Many people, after spending time away, return with a renewed appreciation of their roots. They may find themselves more connected to their cultural identity, traditions, and values. Others may realise that while they missed home, they also grew in ways they never expected. Being away forces people to become independent, make decisions on their own, and navigate life without the safety net of familiarity.

At the same time, distance can reveal what we no longer need. Some people realise that certain friendships were superficial, or that the life they left behind was not as fulfilling as they once thought. People can let go of the past and embrace new possibilities.

The inevitable changes and their emotional impact…

Another painful truth about being away is that things change, and not always in ways we expect. When we return home after a long time, we often find that the people and places we missed have evolved. Friends have moved on, family members have grown older, and familiar places may no longer exist. The realisation that life continues on without us can be heartbreaking.

Finding a balance between nostalgia and growth…

Missing something or someone is a natural part of being away, but it’s important to find a balance between cherishing the past and embracing the present. While longing for home, relationships, and routine is inevitable, it should not prevent us from appreciating where we are now. Growth often comes from stepping out of our comfort zones, and even though it comes with its challenges, it also brings new experiences, lessons, and perspectives.

Onwards thoughts…

Being away from home, loved ones, and familiar surroundings often brings a deep sense of realisation of what truly matters. It teaches us to value the things we once took for granted. However, this absence also provides an opportunity for self-discovery, growth, and new experiences.

And while missing something or someone is inevitable, it should serve as a reminder to appreciate what we have, whilst we have it. Life is constantly changing, and sometimes, it’s only through distance that we gain the perspective needed to cherish the moments, relationships, and places that shape us. 

Amen...

1,209 Marathons - 288 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - 1 Home Sweet Home

Friday, 14 February 2025

Maximum Joy - Frankie Goes to Hollywood


Living life to the full by embracing every moment...

As I head further on into my sixties, I’m finding myself cramming as much life as I can into every twenty-four-hour period. Sometimes twenty-four hours just isn’t enough! And, if my world was to end today or in the very near future, would I be able to say that I’d had good value for money and made the most of my time on this planet of ours, or would I be disappointed at the people and opportunities that have slipped through my fingers over the years.

I’m sure we all have regrets and if there was an opportunity to rewrite the record books, well we might but then we wouldn’t be where we are today I suppose…

You see, life is a fleeting gift, a limited time for us to experience, learn, grow, and leave an impact on the world around us. The phrase ‘living life to the full’ comes to mind, but what does it truly mean?

Is it about adventure and travel, or does it go deeper, touching on our relationships, personal growth, and inner peace? To live life to the full is to embrace each moment with purpose and gratitude. It requires us to step out of our comfort zones, cultivate meaningful relationships, and find joy in both the ordinary and the extraordinary - but how do we go about getting the best bang for our buck?

Embrace the present…

One of my key lessons is learning to stay in the present. In a world dominated by distraction, technology and social media, it’s easy to get caught up in the past or worry about the future. However, life truly only happens in the present. Mindfulness is the practice of fully engaging with the here and now and it involves appreciating small, seemingly insignificant experiences. It could just be the warmth of the sun on your face, the sound of laughter, or the taste of a delicious meal. It’s a moment in time to savour.

When we are present, we become more attuned to life’s beauty. We stop rushing our days and instead savour them. Living fully means not postponing happiness until some distant goal is achieved but finding it in the moments we have today. 

Leaving the comfort zones behind...

Comfort zones are safe, familiar, and predictable. While they provide a sense of security, they also limit excitement. But by embracing discomfort from time to time, taking risks, trying new things, and pushing personal boundaries, comfort zones can become dots in the rear-view mirror of life. It could be as simple as learning a new hobby, traveling to an unfamiliar destination, or speaking up in a situation where you might normally stay silent that helps you escape.

Progress happens when we step into the unknown. However the fear of failure can hold us back, but here failure itself isn’t the enemy, stagnation is. Every time we try something new, we learn more about ourselves and the world. Adventure, curiosity, and courage are fundamental to living a vibrant life.

Cultivating gratitude...

Gratitude is the cornerstone of a fulfilling life. When we focus on what we’d rather have than what we lack, we shift our mindset to one of abundance. Being able to recognize and appreciate the blessings in life, our relationships, health and opportunities helps us grow.

A daily practice of gratitude, whether through journaling or simply pausing to reflect, can transform our vision. When we are grateful, we become more content and less driven by external validation or material possessions. Gratitude grounds us and reminds us that life is rich with meaning.

Building meaningful relationships...

Relationships bring joy, support, and a sense of belonging. By investing in the people who matter to us the most - family, friends, and even the communities we are part of, create deep and authentic relationships.

In our fast-paced, digital world, it’s easy to mistake online interactions for genuine connection. While technology can bridge distances, it cannot replace face-to-face moments of laughter, shared experiences, and heartfelt conversations. 

Additionally, surrounding ourselves with positive individuals can inspire us to live more fully. The people we spend time with influence our mindset, so seeking relationships that uplift, challenge, and support us can be transformative.

Pursuing passions and purpose...

Passion brings energy and excitement into our daily lives. For some, it may be a creative pursuit like painting, writing, or music. For others, it might be a cause they deeply care about, such as environmental conservation or helping others.

When we find purpose, whether through our work, voluntary  efforts, or personal projects, we feel a sense of fulfilment and meaning. Purpose often involves serving others and a determination to leave a positive impact on the world.

It's important to note that passion and purpose are not always grand declarations. They can be found in simple acts such as listening to a friend or caring for a family member. What matters is the sense of alignment with our core values and the genuine joy that these activities bring.

Practicing self-compassion and resilience...

Life is not without challenges. Living fully does not mean avoiding difficulties but learning to navigate them with resilience and self-compassion. Hardships might be opportunities for growth if we approach them with the right mindset.

Self-compassion involves treating ourselves with the same kindness and understanding that we would offer a friend. It means acknowledging our imperfections without harsh self-criticism. Resilience, meanwhile, is the ability to adapt and bounce back from adversity. Developing these qualities helps us face life’s inevitable ups and downs with grace.

Moreover, when we embrace life’s challenges as part of the full human experience, we learn to appreciate the good moments even more. The contrasts between joy and sorrow, success and failure, make life richer and far more meaningful.

Finding joy in simplicity...

Modern society often equates a full life with external success. Mostly in wealth, fame, or possessions. However, genuine fulfilment often comes from within. By slowing down and savouring the simple pleasures, we reconnect with what truly matters. Minimalism, mindfulness, and a focus on experiences rather than possessions can help cultivate a far more satisfying lifestyle.

Giving back and contributing to others...

A life lived solely for oneself can feel hollow, I know. Contribution, on the other hand, brings a sense of purpose and connection. Acts of kindness, whether big or small, have a ripple effect, positively impacting others while enriching our own lives.

Volunteering, mentoring, or simply just being there for someone in need breeds a sense of community. The joy of giving often surpasses the joy of receiving and knowing that we’ve made a difference can be one of the most rewarding aspects of life.

Embracing change and letting go of fear...

Change is inevitable, yet many people resist it due to fear of the unknown. However, life is a continuous process of change and evolution. To live fully, we must learn to embrace change rather than fear it.

Letting go of fear involves recognising that uncertainty is part of the adventure of life. When we release our grip on the need for control, we open ourselves up to new possibilities. Change often brings growth, new perspectives, and unexpected opportunities.

Living authentically...

Living authentically means being true to ourselves, our values, dreams, and unique qualities. When we try to conform to societal expectations or live for others approval, we lose touch with who we are.

Authentic living involves self-awareness and the courage to follow our own path. It means honouring our passions, speaking our truth, and pursuing what truly matters to us. When we live authentically, we experience a deeper sense of fulfilment because we are aligned with our inner selves.

Thoughts…

Living life to the full is a dynamic and deeply personal journey. It’s about embracing the present, stepping outside of comfort zones, cultivating gratitude, and building meaningful relationships. It requires us to pursue passions, practice self-compassion, find joy in simplicity, and give back to others. Above all, it calls for authenticity and the willingness to embrace change with courage.

Life is a finite gift, and every day offers an opportunity to live more fully. By adopting these principles, we can create a life rich with experiences, connections, and purpose. 

And when you live life to the full, you’ll know the answer.

1,209 Marathons - 288 Ultras - 9 GWR - 17 MDS - 1 Life Fulfilled

Thursday, 30 January 2025

Enter Sandman - Metallica


As we head into a world where AI is going to play a major part of everyday life, I thought I’d see if Chat GPT could come up with some good reasons to run the Marathon des Sables - I mean, I know the real reasons, but I wondered if they were the same as mine.

So here goes…

Why should you run the Marathon des Sables?

1. The ultimate physical and mental challenge - The MDS pushes your body and mind beyond their limits, testing endurance, resilience, and survival instincts.

2. Adventure in one of the harshest environments on Earth - Running across the Sahara Desert is an experience like no other.

3. Achievement like no other - Finishing the MDS is a life-changing accomplishment and one of the greatest endurance feats.

4. Sense of community and camaraderie - You’ll meet fellow runners from around the world, forming deep bonds through shared struggles and triumphs.

5. Personal growth and transformation - Many runners say the MDS changed their perspective on life, proving they can overcome anything.

6. Charitable and fundraising opportunities - Many participants run to raise money for charities, making their challenge even more meaningful.

If you’re looking for the ultimate adventure and endurance challenge, the Marathon des Sables is one of the most legendary races you can take on.

Seems to sum it up perfectly - so I then asked who I was to the MDS… 

If you’re considering running the MDS, Rory Coleman is one of the top coaches who can help with training, preparation, and mental strategies for completing the race.

My Chat GPT knows you know!

1,207 Marathons - 286 Ultras - 9 GWR - 17 MDS - 1 Life

Tuesday, 28 January 2025

Face Value - Phil Collins


I coach many CEOs, Directors and Business Leaders and you'd be surprised at their level of self-confidence and their perceived level of value, both to their businesses and to those around them - here are a few thoughts about self-value, and see if any apply to you.

Signs that you are undervaluing yourself

Recognising the signs of self-undervaluation is vital part of feeling more confident, especially in confrontational situations. The signs often manifest in behaviours and thought patterns that, when left uncorrected, can make negatively impact your life.

Over-apologising

If you find yourself frequently apologising for things that are not your fault or are beyond your control, may be a sign of undervaluing yourself. This habit often stems from a fear of being a burden or causing inconvenience to others.

Difficulty accepting compliments

People who undervalue themselves often struggle to accept praise - brushing off compliments or attributing their success to luck rather than skills or effort.

Settling for less

Whether it’s staying in a toxic relationship, accepting a lower paid job, or tolerating poor treatment from others, settling for less than you deserve is a hallmark of self-undervaluation.

Fear of risk taking

Undervaluing yourself can lead to a paralysing fear of failure, making you hesitant to step outside your comfort zones. It often prevents people from pursuing their goals or taking advantage of new opportunities.

People-pleasing tendencies

People who undervalue themselves often prioritise the needs of others over those of their own, striving to gain validation through self-sacrifice. While kindness and generosity are admirable traits, constantly putting others first can leave you feeling drained and unappreciated.

Negative self-talk

Pervasive negative thoughts, such as ‘I’m not good enough or I don’t deserve this’ are clear indicators of self-undervaluation. Over time, this internal dialogue can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, reinforcing feelings of inadequacy.

The impact of undervaluing yourself

The effects of undervaluing yourself are far-reaching, touching nearly every aspect of your life. While the immediate consequences may seem minor, the long-term impact can be significant.

Mental health struggles

Chronic self-undervaluation can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. The constant pressure to prove your worth or the persistent belief that you are not enough can take a toll on your mental well-being.

Stalled career growth

In professional settings, undervaluing yourself can prevent you from seeking raises, promotions, or better opportunities. This can lead to stagnation in your career and a persistent sense of dissatisfaction.

Strained relationships

When you undervalue yourself, you may attract individuals who take advantage of your insecurities, leading to unbalanced or toxic relationships. Additionally, the inability to set boundaries can result in resentment and emotional exhaustion.

Missed opportunities

Fear of failure or a lack of confidence often holds individuals back from pursuing their goals. Over time, this can result in a growing list of missed opportunities and unfulfilled dreams.

Erosion of self-worth

The more you undervalue yourself, the more it reinforces a cycle of self-doubt and insecurity. This can make it increasingly difficult to break free from negative thought patterns.

Breaking free from self-undervaluation

Overcoming the habit of undervaluing yourself requires intentional effort and self-reflection. While the process may be challenging, it is entirely possible with persistence and the right strategies.

Challenge negative thoughts

Begin by identifying and challenging the negative beliefs that contribute to self-undervaluation. Replace thoughts like ‘I’m not good enough’ with affirmations such as ’I’m capable’ and ‘I’m deserving’.

Celebrate your achievements

Take time to acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small. Keeping a diary of your successes can help you recognise your value and build confidence over time.

Set healthy boundaries

Learn to say ‘no’ when necessary and prioritise your own needs. Setting boundaries is a crucial step in protecting your time, energy, and self-worth.

Surround yourself with supportive people

Seek out relationships with individuals who uplift and inspire you. Supportive friends and mentors can provide encouragement and help you see your value when you struggle to recognise it yourself.

Seek professional help

Therapy can be invaluable in addressing the root causes of self-undervaluation. A trained professional or coach can help you navigate past traumas, challenge negative thought patterns, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

Practice self-compassion

Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Remember that everyone makes mistakes and faces challenges.

Take risks and embrace failure

Push yourself to step outside your comfort zones and take calculated risks. Embracing failure as a learning opportunity rather than a reflection of your worth can help you build resilience and confidence.

Invest in personal growth

Engage in activities that help you grow, whether it’s taking a course, pursuing a hobby, or practicing mindfulness. Personal growth leads to a sense of accomplishment and reinforces your intrinsic value.

The path to valuing yourself

Learning to value yourself is a journey, not a destination. It requires patience, self-awareness, and consistent effort. Along the way, you may encounter setbacks, but each step forward brings you closer to a healthier and more fulfilling life.

By addressing the root causes of self-undervaluation, challenging negative beliefs, and adopting positive habits, you can transform your self-perception. Remember, your worth is not determined by external validation or comparisons to others it’s inherent. 

Embracing this truth will empower you to live authentically, pursue your goals with confidence, and cultivate meaningful relationships that will reflect your true value.

1,207 Marathons - 286 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - Never Undervalued

Sunday, 26 January 2025

Big Time - Sir Peter of Gabriel

Big Time – ‘Not me, I'm smarter than that, I worked it out’ - Gabriel

How do you measure success? By how much you earn? By where you live? By how little you have to work? Or by the size and make of your car?

 

Why are we programmed to see objects as a sign of success? And hey, before you say it, I’m just as ‘signs of success programmed’ as the next person. 

 

I mean, the car thing always got me. And It’s possibly a young man’s game and like most, I was suckered in during my sales career where a ‘Ford Mondeo Ghia X’ was perceived as the pinnacle of car hierarchy. And on finally getting my career-eager hands on the keys I found it cornered like a shopping trolley and was really an old man’s car! 

 

For the record, at only three days old it was stolen off my drive for parts and all that was left was a bodyshell in a remote field gateway that was taken away to an early company car scrapyard grave. And being success-status-driven I went to the next level reaching BMW status where you find that everyone else on the road, even though they don’t know you, instantly thinks you’re a ****.

 

It’s kinda sad that we mark success by the outward signs of wealth rather than by what we’ve achieved or by what we’ve done with other people.

 

You see it’s the things you can’t see that really matter. It’s not where you’ve been, it’s how you’ve done it that counts. It’s experience that makes you smart and being smart leads to success. Success that you simply can’t buy and that you earn, over time.

 

Now, we are not all world beating athletes, but we can outplay our own dreams and succeed in areas we once thought were unachievable. I know – been there and got the T-Shirt…many times.

 

I found that success comes from hours and hours of training, focus and determination and if you feel you have yet to succeed in life, make plans, and start to make it happen. You probably won’t get anything tangible to show for your efforts but inwardly you’ll know what true success feels like, especially when looking back in decades to come.

 

Amen.

 

1,207 Marathons, 286 Ultras, 9 GWR, 17 MDS & 1 Vision

Saturday, 25 January 2025

Ordinary World - Duran Duran


Lyrics:- 'But I won't cry for yesterday, there's an ordinary world somehow I have to find. And as I try to make my way to the ordinary world, I will learn to survive' - Le Bon, Taylor, Bates & Cuccurullo

Song Choice:- I always thought the Duran Duran boys were awesome. Right from ‘Planet Earth’ onwards their songs were always really so well produced and very underrated as in the case of the brilliant 'Ordinary World'. To be honest, they were always more of a 'girl's band' and your Metallica - Guns'n'Roses - AC/DC fan would never have owned up at the time to liking them. 

 

If I'm honest, they've always been a bit of a guilty pleasure for me and I'm glad that they made some great ballads as well as the 'Rio' type pop songs - however this track in particular has always got me thinking, especially when you consider some of the lyrics.

 

I mean, what is an 'Ordinary World'? - because I haven't got a clue what one looks like or feels like from my own 'life experience'. However, I've been speaking more and more with existing and potential clients about 'Ambition' v 'Ability'. I mean it's great to have a burning desire to achieve a personal goal or achievement but without the ability to do so, it's a complete waste of time, energy and money. 

 

And yes, I know it's great to have dreams and not good to pee on someone else's chips but REALLY sometimes I'm left gasping - Actually it's more of a 'REALITY' as in check that has to be a big part of any intentions that folk might have, please take note if that's you.

 

Running across deserts, climbing mountains or rowing the Atlantic ain't too easy and you have to do the apprenticeship in any discipline needed to conquer any of these quests for sure. Tipping up last minute hoping to 'wing it' - only leads to failure and that's never an option in my book.

 

The reverse view though is that folk who have the 'Ability' for greatness and totally waste the opportunity; or even worse do a 'Best' or 'Gascoigne' and self-destruct like a 27-year-old-rock star are even worse - and if that's you, please come and see me as I'll bring the greatness out of you.

 

You see folk want greatness but also to lead an extraordinarily, ordinary world - it's nuts isn't it, searching abnormally to be normal.

 

And then try and survive...

 

Have an 'Ordinary day' if you can folks in your 'Ordinary world'...Amen


1,207 Marathons - 286 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - 1 Extra-Ordinary Person

Friday, 24 January 2025

Anger in Harmony - Wishbone Ash

 The Power of being Calm when Angry… 

In life, we are often confronted with situations that test our patience and emotional control. From minor inconveniences like someone cutting us up in traffic to significant conflicts in personal or professional relationships. The temptation to react angrily can be overwhelming. However, cultivating a sense of calm in the face of provocation is a far more effective and fulfilling response. Being calm instead of angry not only improves our emotional health but also enhances our relationships, decision-making abilities, and makes us feel better.

 

Let’s explore the importance being calm when angry, it’s psychological and physiological effects, and the practical strategies for choosing to be calm in challenging moments.

 

Understanding anger and calmness

 

Anger is a natural human emotion that arises when we feel wronged, threatened, or frustrated. It’s a defence mechanism, that alerts us to perceived injustice and motivates action to address the issue. While anger can be constructive in certain situations, such as advocating for social change or standing up for oneself, it often becomes destructive when expressed impulsively, without control. Uncontrolled, anger can harm relationships, fuel misunderstandings, and escalate conflict.

 

Calmness, on the other hand, is a state of mental and emotional balance. It allows people to respond to challenges thoughtfully rather than reactively. Being calm doesn’t mean suppressing emotions or avoiding problems; instead, it involves maintaining control over one’s responses and addressing issues with clarity and composure. Calmness breeds rational thinking, empathy, and resilience, making it a very powerful antidote to anger.

 

The psychological effects of anger

 

When anger takes hold, it activates the ‘fight or flight’ response, a survival mechanism hardwired into our DNA. This response triggers a cascade of physiological changes, including increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and the release of stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. Whilst this reaction can be useful in dangerous situations, chronic or frequent anger can harm both mental and physical health.

 

Psychologically, anger clouds judgment and narrows our focus, making it difficult to see the bigger picture. It can distort perceptions, causing people to misinterpret others’ intentions or exaggerate the significance of a problem. Over time, frequent bouts of anger can lead to feelings of bitterness, resentment, and helplessness. 

 

The benefits of calmness

 

Choosing calmness over anger offers numerous benefits, both immediate and long-term. Calmness enhances emotional intelligence, enabling people to better understand their own feelings and those of others. This heightened awareness breeds empathy and strengthens relationships by reducing misunderstandings and encouraging open communication.

 

From a physiological perspective, calmness counteracts the stress response associated with anger. By lowering heart rate and cortisol levels, calmness promotes relaxation and reduces the risk of stress-related health issues such as hypertension, heart disease, and anxiety disorders. Additionally, staying calm improves cognitive function by allowing the brain to process information more effectively, leading to better problem-solving and decision-making.

 

On a wider level, calmness can create a ripple effect, positively influencing those around us. When we respond to adversity with composure, we set an example for others and contribute to a more harmonious environment. In this way, calmness becomes not only a personal virtue but also a catalyst for collective peace.

 

Practical strategies for choosing calmness

 

Although remaining calm in difficult situations is challenging, it’s a skill that can be developed with practice. Here are several strategies to help you cultivate calmness and manage anger more effectively:

 

Pause and breathe

 

When anger begins to rise, pausing and focusing on your breath can help you regain control. Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which counteracts the stress response and promotes relaxation. Even taking a few slow, deep breaths can create a sense of calm and prevent impulsive reactions.

 

Practice mindfulness

 

Mindfulness involves staying present in the moment and observing your thoughts and emotions without judgment. By cultivating mindfulness, you can become more aware of your anger triggers and develop your ability to respond thoughtfully rather than reactively. Mindfulness practices such as meditation, yoga, or simply observing your surroundings can help build this skill over time.

 

Reframe the situation

 

Often, anger arises from the way we interpret events rather than the events themselves. By reframing the situation, you can shift your perspective and reduce the intensity of your emotional reaction. For example, instead of assuming someone is being rude intentionally, consider the possibility that they may be having a bad day or dealing with their own challenges.

 

Focus on solutions

 

Rather than dwelling on what went wrong or who is to blame, channel your energy into finding a constructive solution. This proactive approach not only resolves the issue more effectively but also empowers you to take control of the situation without letting anger dictate your actions.

 

Engage in physical activity

 

Physical activity is a powerful outlet for releasing pent-up anger and tension. Exercise helps reduce stress hormones, improve mood, and restore a sense of calm. Whether it’s a brisk walk, a workout, a run or a session of stretching, physical movement can help you regain emotional balance.

 

Communicate assertively

 

Calmness does not mean suppressing your feelings or avoiding difficult conversations. Instead, aim to express your concerns assertively and respectfully. Use ‘I’ statements to convey your feelings without placing blame, such as, ‘I feel frustrated when deadlines are missed,’ rather than, ‘You never meet deadlines.’

 

Develop emotional awareness

 

Understanding the root causes of your anger can help you address underlying issues and prevent future outbursts. Reflect on patterns in your emotional responses and consider what unmet needs or unresolved conflicts may be contributing to your feelings.

 

Practice gratitude

 

Focusing on the positive aspects of your life can help shift your mindset away from anger and toward appreciation. Regularly practicing gratitude, whether through blogging, sharing your thoughts with others, or simply reflecting on what you’re thankful for, can cultivate a sense of peace and contentment.

 

Seek support

 

If anger becomes overwhelming or difficult to manage, seeking support from a trusted friend, family member, or Coach can make a significant difference. Talking about your feelings and receiving guidance from others can help you gain perspective and develop healthier coping strategies.

 

And finally…

 

Choosing calmness over anger is not always easy, but it’s a choice that leads to greater peace, resilience, and fulfilment. By understanding the impacts of anger, embracing the benefits of calmness, and practicing strategies to stay composed, we can navigate life’s challenges with grace and clarity. Calmness empowers us to respond thoughtfully, build stronger relationships, and contribute to a more harmonious world. Ultimately, it is not the absence of challenges that defines us, but how we choose to face them. In choosing calmness, we choose a path of wisdom, compassion, and enduring strength. 


Amen.

1,207 Marathons - 286 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - 1 Calm Mind