Friday, 5 February 2021

Get it right next time...


Out on the street I was talkin' to a man. 
He said 'there's so much of this life of mine that I don't understand'.

Of course if we understood everything, the world would be a really boring place. An audience always looks to see how the magician did the trick, rather than just take the illusion at face value. Having seen a 'Magician of the Year' return an empty crushed tin of Coke to being full and in need of a ring pull to open and poured out, was asked if I wanted to know how it was done. When I said 'no', he said he was confused as everyone asked. You see, I was happy with the illusion and didn't need to understand. You see, sometimes it's okay not to know...

You shouldn't worry, I said, that ain't no crime. Cause if you get it wrong you'll get it right next time.

But we do worry don't we, me included about getting things wrong. Failing our peers, failing in public and not looking the fool. Oh the embarrassment! And yet, this is exactly the thing that stops us exceeding our limits. Yet if we look at lots of people we would class as being super-successful in life - they have all been failures in one way or another along their way to success.

You need direction, yeah you need a name. When you're standing in the crossroads every highway looks the same.

It's very easy to give in when things go wrong isn’t it? Giving into not going down the same route again and using fuzzy logic rather than common sense to guide our next steps. Imagine using Pot luck as your Sat-Nav the next time you travel anywhere. I understand how annoying being Google-Driven it can be but even in the pre-digital age we weren't traveling blind - remember using 'A to Z Maps'?

After a while you get to recognise the signs. So if you get it wrong you'll get it right next time.

We travel down the same paths of failure and make the same mistakes time and time again. Why is that? Why do we live so much in hope that things will turn out ok? Why do we believe that things will change for the better when it's obvious they won't and don't. Is that what we call it 'Human Nature'? 

Life is a liar yeah life is a cheat. It'll lead you on and pull the ground from underneath your feet.

And when it goes wrong you become the victim. Get despondent and can't find a way back. We can feel cheated. Having been in this situation myself, it would have been far too easy to say 'Why me'. But then I would have been giving into the negativity that surrounds so many people I meet that live under the grey cloud of 'Regret'.

No use complainin', don't you worry, don't you whine. Cause if you get it wrong you'll get it right next time.

My advice is always to draw a line and move on. People make mistakes. I make loads of them. We all make mistakes. We don’t do it on purpose - things just don’t go the way we planned. The feeling of liberation when moving on can be overwhelming. There's always another chance. Another opportunity. Another way of making things happen. You just have to dust yourself off and have another go.

You gotta grow, you gotta learn by your mistakes. You gotta die a little everyday just to try to stay awake.

Sometimes it feels like you are paddling upstream. It does for everyone right now I can assure you. Covid-19 has changed our world - Finished off over 100,000 worlds in the UK alone and will finish off many more worlds in the months to come. So when you feel everything's a mountain that you can't climb, don’t worry because if you get it wrong, you'll might get it right next time.

1,079 Marathons, 255 Ultras, 9 Guinness World Records, 15 Marathon des Sables, 27 Years' Dry

Tuesday, 12 January 2021

In a Moment - Stereophonics


A moment can change a lifetime. And right up to that moment we only have ourselves to answer to for the successes or failures we’ve created. In my experience however, it’s only the failures that actually flush the moment out into the open.

Don't know where you're going, used to be a star
And everywhere you turn they're raining on your fire.

I meet many people that ‘Used to be’ something or another - or feel that the world is set against them. And maybe that’s true but the only person that will back on track is you.


You're searching for an answer your hands and tongue are tied

And everything that you thought you knew is buried deep alive.

The answers are there, right in front of your eyes - you just have to find the ‘moment’ to go and take life, head on.


You could take tomorrow, You think you've got it all

The emptiness will go in a moment.

The words of this track resonated with me yesterday (even though I'm not the biggest Stereophonics fan) as I tried to help a lost soul find the right ‘moment’ to start living life with a future. A future where tomorrow is brighter than today and every day brings joy, happiness and personal fulfilment.


I'm looking in the mirror, stare at my reflection

And I look like someone else.

I know how that ‘moment’ feels. What it’s like to be lost but also what can be achieved when you find a new direction and a reason to feel alive and full of hope.


Cause you just need to know
The emptiness will go, in a moment.

Now if you find yourself thinking about your ‘moment’ in the midst of this Covid-Madness’, well there’s no better time to press your reset button. Think about what you really desire, really want to achieve and really want to be.


Cause you just need to know time is on your side
Time will heal your mind.

It’s time…

1075 Marathons - 255 Ultras - 9 Guinness World Records - 15 Marathon des Sables
27 Years' Sober 

Monday, 4 January 2021

Twist in My Sobriety - Tikaram


Sober for 27 years - What’s it like to have been sober for all that time?

Well it’s a great question to someone that hasn’t had a drop of booze since 1994 - and here I’ll be as honest as I can about the journey that I’ve been on for the past 9,862 days.

  

And of course, it would be easy to say it’s been a piece of cake and in a way it has - however in reality the first few weeks were pretty tough but I’ve forgotten that over time. My Rose-Tinted Glasses see it only as a time of success and those first few weeks as being a euphoric blur as I discovered there was more to life than drinking tins of super-strong lager to help block out my failings and depression.

 

Those early booze-free days out jogging accelerated my detox and started building the framework for a new life of sobriety. Not that I’d marked myself out for a life sentence at that stage - it was just a one day at a time regime that gathered momentum and a value that became too priceless to throw away.

 

So if you are looking for a straight answer, it’s feels normal. Yes totally normal. And in the last twenty-seven years - I’ve packed a lot it. I’ve been to amazing places, achieved many notable feats and been lucky enough to meet many amazing people along the way.

 

Just from one day stopping drinking. Something I’d never have thought of on day one of my sobriety journey.

 

So fast forward and is every day a bed of roses? Is every day a day just perfect? Well of course not - BUT it’s another day in a world where anything is possible if you are sober and prepared live life with a fresh set of rules and ideals. 

 

And inside it feels - BLOODY BRILLIANT and I’m SUPER-PROUD of myself.

 

You can feel that way too if you are out of control and heading into 2021 just as I was back in 1994. Try living life sober one-day-at-a-time and see where life takes you. Then join me as I head on towards 10,000 days and my next celebration of sobriety in May.

 

Go on - be brave as you have nothing to lose.


1074 Marathons - 255 Ultras - 15 Marathon des Sables - 9 Guinness World Records - 27 Years Sober

Tuesday, 15 December 2020

Why Bother?


Every day we undertake a huge number of personal tasks and challenges that we call ‘Life’. We are living that ‘Life’ as a result of options and choices that we believed were the right at that particular moment in time. And, as a result, where we find ourselves at any one time, is of our own doing and have no-one else to blame.

It’s far too easy to become a victim and say ‘why me?’ Or as in my case self-loath and head into a darkness of depression and use alcohol to mask the pain of failing. ‘Point Zero’ as I refer to it, isn’t somewhere you reach overnight. It’s a gradual thing that slowly creeps up on you. It speeds up the more helpless you become and before you know it has you firmly in it’s grasp. If you’ve been there, you’ll understand where I’m coming from.

 

Back then, the only way out was to toughen up as reaching out was a sign of weakness not strength as it is today. At 58 years of age, I am in a much wiser position looking in life’s rear view mirror. I can admit that by the time I was 31, I’d created a huge mess that was not only challenging me mentally but physically too. That’s why on 5th Jan 1994, I decided to make some changes, massive changes in fact and ‘getting fit’ quickly became my salvation and foundation for a ‘New Life’ where I found a ‘New Rory’.

 

I know personally that it’s a huge step to stop drinking, smoking or over-eating.

 

It took me only six months to reverse my very poor levels of health and fitness. And crossing the finish line of my first marathon is one of my life’s greatest achievements. Accomplishing a further 1000+ marathons impossible to my own previous incarnation.

 

Now, I’m not saying that you have to run 26.2 miles, be an Ironman Triathlete or become a body-builder but whatever life choices you make now or in the future, be it starting a new job, a new relationship or over-coming an illness or accident – fitness REALLY helps.

 

I know I’m far from perfect but I was lucky enough to be able to make positive changes to my behaviour that have given me huge satisfaction and a career where I can now help other people to reach their own fitness and life goals.

 

You see it’s far too easy to say ‘Why bother?’… but actually you must. Because if you do, you will be pleased you did. Now I’m always happy to be bothered and please reach out if you want to bother in 2021 and beyond.

 

Amen.


1,073 Marathons - 255 Ultras - 9 Guinness World Records 

26 years' of Being Bothered

Monday, 30 November 2020

Time - The Pink Floyd

‘Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time’ - Wright

There’s never a right time or enough time is there? Our understanding of ‘Time’ goes back to the beginnings of the human race. Primeval man divided our annual solar transit into seasons by cleverly building one of the first timepieces at Stonehenge in around 3000bc, which remarkably still keeps perfect ‘time’ to this day. 

 

Of course there were more hourly timepieces invented over the centuries which have become far more accurate. In Victorian times, actually knowing the time had a value as timepieces were so few and far between - people actually paid find out what time it was, well before the ‘Speaking Clock’ (whose days must be numbered)… 

 

People use their phones as watches nowadays and I imagine that there must be an hourly global surge of energy as mobile phones the world over alarm their owners it’s ‘time’ to get up. I know I do…

 

Our fascination for ‘time’ and it’s accuracy has led to the invention of the Caesium Fountain Atomic Clock that’s so accurate, it misses only a second in every 15 billion years or so - although I’m not sure how you’d actually measure that.

 

Anyway, it’s easy to see how our lives are dominated by ‘Time’. My whole working day is.

 

But there’s hope - according to scientists in 200 million years we will be able to enjoy a 25-hour-day, which I’m sure we’d all welcome as there are never enough hours in the day to fit everything in - ha-ha.

 

For the record - There’s always ‘Time’. We just don’t make ‘Time’.

 

‘Time’ is just a mechanism for us to comprehend our position in ‘Time and Space’. To give us some kind of understanding of the past, the present and the future. Maybe it’s something we contemplate the older we get.

 

That’s why I find wasting ‘Time’ as being a crime and being ‘Bored’ unfathomable as I can’t ever think of a ‘Time’ when I’m personally not busy. But then I might be just as guilty for never taking a ‘Time’ out for contemplation or reflection - you could say that?

 

I do know I’ve made pretty good use of my ‘Time’ so far and will endeavour to keep valuing every second I get - how’s your ‘Time’ management?


1,072 Marathons - 255 Ultras - 9 Guinness World Records - 15 Marathon des Sables

Tuesday, 10 November 2020

Be a Success like Ben...

Ben Barbanel
I love helping people achieve their dream goal and when they do I bask in their success just as much as they do. I thought I'd share this message from Ben who's lost 18.1kgs (40lbs) in five months. Amazing during the Lockdown period, I'm sure you'll agree. Here is his message to me on being under 12st - word-for-word...

Rory

I wanted to thank you for all your help over the past months. When we spoke on the 1st June I was sceptical, and remained so for some time.

But I stuck with it, and it worked. My relationship and attitude towards food has changed for ever - I’m sure. In the main, I no longer live to eat!

Eating when hungry, to give me fuel, smaller portions, the right food, not standing in the pantry just eating shit...

Thank you!

My wife is now a believer too!

This hasn’t just been about weight for me - I’m now more in tune with my mind. My thoughts, my attitude, my goals, my motivations. I'll continue to sing your praises and recommend you and hopefully I’ll be able to provide a pipeline of customers for you.

My best wishes to you and my sincere thanks for undoubtedly extending my life.

Ben

How about that? And, if you want to be like Ben - well just let me know. I'd love to be adding your testimony to his in a few short months from now.

1069 Marathons - 255 Ultras - 9 Guinness World Records - 15 Marathon des Sables

Tuesday, 20 October 2020

Don't stop believin' - Journey

'Motivation'

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been thinking a lot about motivation. And feeling Motivated, I checked out ‘Motivation’ in Google and found that ‘Motivation’ involves the biological, emotional, social, and cognitive forces that activate behaviour’. So there and I’m sure it does- but in plain ‘Rory-speak’ (not being a man of great reading), I thought I’d search for some kind of meaning that I could actually understand.

 

With my very limited reading attention span, I quickly learned of ‘Intrinsic’ and ‘Extrinsic’- ‘Motivation’. ‘Intrinsic’ meaning coming from within and ‘Extrinsic’ coming from outside. And rather than just copy and pasting from other authors, I thought it best to give an insight to my own thought process.

 

So, I see ‘Motivation’ as being either ‘Pleasure’ or ‘Reward’ based regarded as ‘Intrinsic’ or ‘Extrinsic’. Simple enough?

 

And it’s funny how over the years ones focus changes. Personally, I’ve moved from definitely being ‘Extrinsically’ motivated’ to now being ‘Intrinsically’ driven. I mean, all those marathons? Most definitely in the ‘Pleasurable’ part of my spectrum. Doing the marathons themselves satisfied my ‘Motivation’. As for a rewards, if you class world record certificates and finishers medals as rewards, well I’m not that fussed - I can’t be as they are gathering dust, stashed away in the loft.

 

In my younger days, I was certainly motivated by work, fast cars and position. And every now and then when I see an old 1997 BMW 3 series, my heart misses a tiny beat as I think back to the time I spent racing my life away on a 160 mile M40 commute to work - living life, very dangerously, in the fast lane to achieve what I thought would deliver satisfaction. A satisfaction that it simply didn’t fulfil, and one that my running experiences delivered time and time again.

 

Now, I’m not saying that everyone needs to start running ultra-marathons to find ‘transcendence’ but seeking and finding ‘Motivation’ from within is undeniably satisfying and makes all material things feel worthless. To me, the finish line of any race is as priceless as any part of the journey. 

 

I have many thoughts on ‘Motivation’ and maybe it’s habitual… Simply something you either have or don’t have? I do know as an addict and from working with other addicts, we possess it in abundance. Hmm…

 

So, right now, if you are lacking ‘Motivation’, think about why you are striving for some things and not for others. Is it ‘Pleasurable’ or a ‘Reward’. My BMW - P354 GDA is long gone (I checked on the Govt Website) but my marathon PB will live with me forever.

 

How’s your motivation?

 

1066 Marathons - 255 Ultras - 15 Marathon des Sables - 9 Guinness World Records