10,000 Days - It's a long time without a pint...

If you’d told me 10,000 days ago that I’d still be living alcohol-free some 27 years later, I simply wouldn’t have believed you.

Has it been hard, well if I’m being totally honest, not really. Has there been some triumphs and tribulations along the way - well of course there has, but that’s life isn’t it. And in this rather self-congratulatory styled blog, rather than projecting a perfect picture of alcohol-free living perfectness - how about I explain where it’s been tough. As that’s the only interesting part for you…

The Lost Years…

Those were in the late eighties and early nineties although I’m not sure when they really started - they just did. I just kinda lost my way, big time and let myself go. I thought at the time I was in control but in reality I became a total pratt.

Booze makes you a pratt. A pratt to yourself. A pratt that everyone else can recognise but yourself.

Giving Up

Now there’s the giving up and then the not giving up. It’s a crazy equation where the first giving up in reality is the hardest part. It took me two years to finally admit that I needed to terminate my alcohol addiction . Talk to any drinker and the excuses will just pour out. I know, I wrote most of them!

The not giving up once you’ve started giving up, gets easier though and as the day tally adds, the desire not to mess up the clean-streak helps re-build ones confidence.

Times of Crisis

Anyone thats experienced a close family death, a messy divorce or being made redundant will tell you that a drink probably helped them through when the going got tough. I’ve experienced all of those situations in the last 27 years but have held fast and not reached out for the emotional crutch.

Times of Joy

Now you’d think this would make abstinence easier but in fact it’s a really dangerous time as our culture associates celebration with a drink. I mean, what would a Grand Prix or FA Cup Final be with a nice Cup of Tea instead of a bottle of bubbly. 

Mindset

What I have learned is that it’s down to mindset if you want to get through this or any other life-threatening situation you might find yourself in - and that’s where I’ve succeeded - if you can call it a success.

Projection

The legacy, if I can call it that, is that from my experience I can project some of that mental conditioning to others - that’s been the best part of the whole process.

Where it goes and how that grows, well keep watching this space as it’s part of my life now till the end of my days and I clock up my final number of days. In the mean time, I’ll keep going, keep running and keep on changing lives, for as long as I can. 

Amen.

10,000 Days' Dry - 1,092 Marathons etc.

Countdown to Success - T10,000 - 17 Days

When speaking about Mental Health we often talk about ‘being in a dark place’ when things have gotten tough. Having been in the blackest and darkest of places where there was no ‘chink of light’ or ‘light at the end of the tunnel’,  it’s hard to describe the true fear and helplessness of the blackout. It’s a very lonely place and even in a vast crowd or large city, it’s easy to feel alone.

Yet somehow the light comes. They say it’s always the darkest just before the dawn. Maybe its just a way of saying that things only start to get better when they’ve been their worst - something I can wholeheartedly agree with. In my experience letting the light, changes everything. The loneliness disappears and the impossible becomes possible. It only takes a spark to reignite the flames to warm the soul.

Take it from me, ‘Letting in the Sun’ will not only just brighten your own world. You’ll find it radiates out and opens doors and opportunities that you’d never thought were possible. Maybe start looking forward to a new dawn, the brightest and sunniest dawn you can imagine. One that will 'Let in the Sun.

9,983 Days - 1,079 Marathons - 255 Ultras 

Countdown to Success - T 10,000 -18 Days

It’s okay not to be okay. I know that as 9,982 days ago, I certainly wasn’t okay. Does waking up feeling paralysed from the inside knowing that things will just be the same at the end of yet another day of inner turmoil and conflict sound familiar? It was the knowing that there was no escape from my inner thoughts and self-hatred that drove me to the brink of what I call my ‘Point Zero’.

At ‘Point Zero’, the place where nothing, and I mean nothing, could ever get worse, i finally asked for help. It’s the moment where I ‘reached out’ - only in reality it’s way past the point where I should’ve. Looking for friendly eyes or the listening ear of someone that could find the light in my darkness felt like defeat.

 

The thought of calling one’s Doctor or confiding in a work colleague would’ve felt like failure, especially if one’s demeanour status has been projecting ‘fine’. Back in late 1993, I’d spent months being outwardly ‘fine’ but in fact was dying inside. It was only in January 1994 that I finally found the strength to reach out and make life-changing decisions of career, relationship and behaviour that would shape my entire future.

 

On doing so, I immediately felt back in control, relieved both mentally and physically as well as feeling positive and excited about my future. It was still okay not feeling okay as I knew it wasn’t going to last forever - it was over and it immediately felt more like a temporary blip where I could decide how and when it would finish.

 

It was even okay not to be okay when I was ill with Guillian-Barre Syndrome back in 2016. Being able to reach out for medical help and support and break my predicament down into bite-sized chunks really helped my whole recovery process. And true to form, it worked. It wasn’t perfect, but then nothing ever is, is it? It was just down to adopting a fresh state of mind. One where I realised that my world had more than one occupant.

 

In both cases, I found that I needed help from other people - a need to reach out and confide. A definite no-no in my earlier life but one now that I’m happy to say I’ve fully engaged with. Soldiering on, putting on a brave face, endeavouring to deceive everyone including yourself is a recipe for disaster and if that’s where you secretly find yourself today. 

 

SHOUT and SHOUT LOUD, to those around you that matter or are willing to listen. It could be the best thing you ever do.

9,982 Days Alcohol-Free - 27 Years of Success - 1,089 Marathons