Breathe - The Pink Floyd

Lyric:- 'Breathe, breathe in the Air' - Gilmour, Waters & Wright

Song Choice:- Dig out your old vinyl, 8 Track, Cassette, CD, MP3 or YouTube it and really listen. I mean REALLY listen.

Then 'Breathe, breathe in the Air'...then you'll understand how I feel today.

More tomorrow....

Rory Coleman - 976 Marathons - 241 Ultras
13 Marathon des Sables - 9 Guinness World Records - 8210 Days' Alcohol Free.

Location:Cardiff

Come Talk to Me - Sir Peter of Gabriel

Peter Gabriel and Paula Cole 1992

Lyric:- Darkness creeps in like a thief and offers no relief, why are you shaking like a leaf - Gabriel

Song choice:- Top song from the Man himself - btw, if anyone knows how to get me to meet my all-time hero, using my disabledness in it's most pitiful way if needed, please be my guest as this song saved me today. And I mean really saved me...

I could have quite easily chosen the 'Rats, I don't like Mondays' but that wouldn't have done my mood the justice it deserved as it was just one of those 'Black, Jeremy Corbyn type of Mondays' where you think, everythings gone wrong and just give me a day off from the GBS please, and let me feel what it's like to walk again just for one day.

Anyway, I dragged my way into The Morello Clinic today in Newport, under a black cloud of 'Crept in Darkness', with arms shaking so much my teeth were rattling.

Being hoisted up and buckled into the giant 'Baby-Bouncer' come 'Testicle Grinder' (boy those squash your gonads) didn't improve my mood either. But somehow 90 minutes of just moving upright using my legs for countless trips of the room taking tennis balls from one box and dropping them in another, with a bit of Peter Gabriel and I felt a million dollars.

And what did I learn from all of this?

Well, only want I've already experienced and taught to others a thousand times over, that all of this is in the head. Am I seeing any improvement, well if you'd have asked me before that 90 minutes of shuttle walking, you might well have got a firm 'Foxtrot Oscar' 

Afterwards? An endorphin laden, 'You bet, didn't you see my improved heel-to-toe and my left foot renewed toe-lift?' It's the first sign of any improvement as I only feel that recently I've felt I've been going backwards.

I'll let you know if I'm still on the up tomorrow...but for today, thanks to everyone that's making it start to happen for me...

Rory Coleman

976 Marathons, 241 Ultras, 9 Guinness World Records, 13 Marathon des Sables

Shopping - Pet Shop Boys

Lyrics:- 'Ah ah ah, ah ah ah, ah ah ah, ah ah' - Tennant & Lowe 

Song Choice:- Not a favourite track of mine  from the 1987 album 'Actually', but one that gets firmly wedged in your mind if you are not careful. S-H-O-PP-I-N-G...

But most apt for today's blog as on a wet Sunday afternoon folk in Cardiff, seem to head into town for 'Recreation Shopping'. It's a pastime for many, as there is every major store imaginable including a favourite of mine, John Lewis.

Not because it's 'Never knowingly undersold' or that our one in Cardiff, is one of it's flagship stores that makes a good cuppa and butters a great scone. Nope, I love it for it's Car Park! And not because it's right under the store and therefore easy access to the whole of Cardiff's St. David's Shopping Centres. No...

It's because it has the longest, cleanest, flattest undercover concrete surface for Zimmer-Frame training for miles around. It's got everything I need right now. Widely marked pedestrian areas, safety painted with a non-slip paint and it has super-wide, 'Disabled Parking Bays'. Well, it's what you'd expect at John Lewis.

It's a perfect solution...So there's no actual S-H-O-PP-I-N-G required and training is dead cheap at £2 for up to two hours. Far longer than I can Zimmer right now!

More tomorrow.

Rory Coleman - 976 Marathons - 241 Ultras

13 Marathon des Sables - 9 Guinness World Records - 8208 Days' Alcohol Free.

Get the Message - Electronic

Lyric:- 'Built like an angel, six feet tall, six feet tall'.

Song Choice:- This song is pure genius from the dynamic duo of Marr & Sumner. It sums my mood for today and really the past week as I haven't been blogging that much and not working either so I've had lots of time for refection on where I am in the World right now and where on Earth the onward path is leading me on to. It sounds very poetic but reality it's been a tough but rewarding week and the message is only too loud and clear for me that I'm in this recovery phase now for the 'Long Haul'.

This isn't a six week wonder followed by a glorious marathon PB, I say the long haul and that means a good 12 months, if not more, in my medical opinion anyway; Opinion is so hard to get on anything associated with Guillain-Barre Syndrome. Apparently, I have a rare version of the disease and for us the non medicinal type we'll call it GBS-X. Why not as no-one knows exactly what I've got as they are still working on discovering it...I'm going to be ok in the long run, I'm told, but certainly not today or even tomorrow, just some time in 2016/17/18, maybe, perhaps, possibly. 

It's a bummer...and I'd sob if it helped but it doesn't so I've stopped doing that.

Yep, that Jelly just got a whole lot harder to nail to the wall. I've just been thinking my situation with miraculously get better overnight with my lithographic black and white minded 'Rortism'. (It's like an Autism with a Rory Twist). And cynically the medical fraternity just send you from one hope to another, if you're not careful.

The Team at The Morrello Clinic haven't given me false hope. They'e told me the truth and I thank them for their help in making ME realise where I am with my recovery. It's one hell of an Everest I have to climb and whilst the country sorts out it's arse from it's elbow, I've been doing the same

I won't say that I'll ever been or ever will be built like an angel, but I will be six feet tall again.

More tomorrow.

Rory Coleman

976 Marathons, 241 Ultras, 9 Guinness World Records & 13 Marathon des Sables - TBC

Changes - Kelly & Ozzy Osbourne

Lyric:- Now all my days I'm filled in fears - Wish I could go back and change the years -Iommi, Butler, Ward & Osbourne 

Song Choice:- Well I thought I'd write about 'Change' for a change tonight and what better choice than the Osbourne Father and Daughter classic 'Changes' to help me do so. And in their case a very sad song with some hard hitting lyrics about how things could have been so different etc.

Well, if you been following my progress on this 60 day journey of complete body and a mind scramble - I have come to terms that there are things that will never be the same again, there you are I've said it. And rather than be in the same shoes as Ozzy where he wants to change the past and steer a fresh life-course, I'm actually battling the sonic waves of GBS trying as hard as I can to get back to the life I used to lead, just as it was back in April when all my body parts would deliver a decent Saturday Night Fever Disco Dance and my fingers would type the right letters on this flicking mac rather than add in streams of ===== when I type incorrectly or plainly loose my thread or type complete gibberish.

That bit drive's me potty!

Anyway, after 60 days living life as this GBS Zombie, there are bound to be things that never return to how they once were. My hands feel quite weak for instance, but then again some of my lower muscle tightness has gone. 

It might be a good thing for me psychologically you never know, it reminds me of 1994 when I gave up the booze and look what happened following that decision made by me, wanting change. It all sounds far too easy...

But I'm interested to see where those changes will come from, I'm not frightened of them, I feel excited that perhaps this will lead me closer to the dream I've been running towards for the past 22 years. Who knows...

So sorry Ozzy, there's no real fear for my future, I just want it to happen. Erm, now please before the electrical muscle tests tomorrow would be lovely!!!

More tomorrow post electrocution...

Rory Coleman

976 Marathons - 241 Ultras - 13 Marathon des Sables - 9 Guinness World Records

No More Tears - Ozzy Osbourne

Lyrics:- A levee of tears to learn she'll never be coming back, the man in the dark will bring another attack - Roberts & Jabari

Song Choice:- The first track from Ozzy's first album recorded 'dry' seems quite apt as an anthem for my week ahead as do the lyrics 'No more tears' as there's a limit to just how fucking sorry you can feel for yourself before a good personal kicking up the arse gets you back into the sinus rhythm of life and back on the road to recovery.

You see, I've asked everyone, many times just how long will it take, and no one really seems to want to put their c's-on-the-b's and give me a working timespan - so I've worked one out for myself. 

The theory is that ones longest nerve is about 1000mm long and as they repair at 2.5mm a week - that's 40 weeks and if my 'C' in 'O' Level maths from 1978 is roughly right, that means roughly Christmas. That's this year I'll add, so that's good news as it could take longer but that's the reality check of my situation right now and one that's been very hard to take on the chin if I'm being honest.

And I may as well be honest as this blog is designed to be, to let you, the reader into my mindset and help you understand why, and what it is that drives me on to do what I do.

My question to you tonight is if you were in my shoes, what do you do? 

I'd really like to know, as you never know just what's around the corner and look what popped around mine. Only I can't remember when that was as my brain has started to go a bit blank.

Blank enough for no more tears...

Rory Coleman
976 Marathons - 241 ULTRA-marathons - 9 Guinness World Records - 13 Marathon des Sables - 8202 Days' Dry 

Get it Wrong - Get it Right Next Time - Gerry Rafferty

Lyric:- 'Life is a liar yeah life is a cheat, it'll lead you on and pull the ground from underneath your feet' - Rafferty.

Quiz - Gerry Rafferty, Dead or Alive? - Well he's Dead, died in 2011 and was a shock to me too. Anyway, it's a great track and the world is missing one fine song writer IMO, have a look for  yourself here. 

The song's perfect for today's blog as yesterday was such a complete cock up from start to finish and I thought today might have had the same scriptwriter if I'm being honest. 

I couldn't have been further from the truth as the wonderful Jakko at Merrillo Clinic in Newport gave me a good 'Rory talking up' this morning and armed with fresh enthusiasm my up and down walking was just f*cking awesome and just what I needed to get me back into the groove.

Here's some video of me today. Might not seem much but it's moving mountains...

Lady C came along today, as she hasn't seen me training for a couple of days at the clinic, and said the improvement in my walking was somewhat dramatic, which makes me feel like the hard work, lack of sleep and achy body is starting to pay off. 

Rory Coleman

976 Marathons - 271 Ultras - 13 Marathon des Sables - 9 Guinness World Records

Jump - Van Halen

Lyric:- 'I get up, and nothing gets me down. You got it tough. I've seen the toughest all around - Van Halen, Van Halen, Anthony & Roth

Song Choice: Jump, well that was the last thing I did today; I did more FALL. Nope, not at the Morrello Clinic where I was again getting my legs working in time with my brain (well trying to anyway) with a very simple game of being suspended like the baby jumper whilst trying to step over a 2" high 15" wide plank that hurts like f*ck when you kick it or tread on it the wrong way for about 800m.

But hey, that's ok and I can cope with 90 minutes of that - that's the easy bit. What you don't realise is just how buggered your legs are afterwards. They were F*CKED. That's where the FALL comes in and my left leg just collapsed on me and I fell 'Delboy Like' backwards, missing my brains by 6ft, and landed flat on the sharp pointy bit of my skull. OK, there was a bit of claret, a bit of a bump but more than that the embarrassment of being a total tit in front of my good friend Jeff.

Poor guy 5hit himself I think but did a great job of scooping me up and getting me into his house to watch the Wales v England footy, which for me was as bad as my walking.

So today has been a real bummer, so I had a bloody good blubber which I think has helped.

More tomorrow, which can only get better and I know I'm tough, but I'm the toughest around. But somedays you just don't feel it.

Rory Coleman

976 Marathons - 241 Ultras - 1 Big lump on my head.

Duel - Propaganda

Lyric:-' The first cut won't hurt at all, The second only makes you wonder. The third will have you on your knees, you start bleeding I start screaming - Brücken, Dörper & Martens.

Song Choice:- This one cropped up during my 825 metre run this morning. Listen here and be reminded just how good the group was and just how weird the video was too. 

Recorded on the same record label as Frankie which shows in parts it's a great track. Ask my older kids, about this album as I played this to death in my car when the first came out in 1985 on all of our car journeys.

Anyway, back to my 825 meters that I clocked in 2:45, good enough for a 2:05 marathon pb  and a national record, move over Mo Farah - now that would be some sort of miracle happening from the Morello Clinic in Newport in just two sessions.

So coming clean, sadly my 2.45 was 2 hours 45 minutes for the 825 metres which would be a just a snitch under 6 days excluding sleep, feeding and natural breaks BUT it didn't matter as the session was more like a 'It's a Knockout' game of me being suspended like a baby that can't quite walk in a bouncer from the ceiling running, walking, swearing and spitting my way from a box of 55 tennis balls to a tube at the other end where I could post them. How cruel eh? Just 110 trips of the room...

Well, it was for or the first 20 or so trips as I wanted to make an impression on my trainer Jakko about how fast, tough and hard I am when it comes to my running. But after that it was to get a lot harder.

So I calmed down and just took some MTFU pills and steadily worked away at the last 35 balls. It worked too!

Don't get me wrong, it's the hardest 825 metres I've ever covered and the 'Karate Kid, Wax on, Wax off' came to mind many times during the crazy up and downs carrying a tennis ball from one end of a room to another. My legs did get better during the exercise as the muscles started to remember wtf it is they are meant to do and were nicely shredded at the end of the exercise for once

It felt amazing and I've got more to do today? Perhaps...

I have a feeling I'm putting all the tennis balls back in the first box, but who knows 'Wax-on, Wax-off' eh.

More tomorrow.

Rory Coleman 976 marathons - 241 Ultras - 1 passion to walk again.

Never Enough - Jesus Jones

Mike Edwards - Centre

Song Choice: - Another great song from Mike Edwards of Jesus Jones which still feels simply years ahead of it's time 25 years on singing about the futility of life in the early 90's. 

Anyway here goes with how I see them...

Lyric: -

This is the real world, made wrong made right

Or maybe just made

You waste my time with explanations

So all the big colors fade

So you want to be happy

Don't you know happy is never enough.

It all sounds spot on, doesn't it as there's a such big world out there to explore, yet we mess it up on a daily basis. Hence, we are never 100% happy.

Looking for big answers, getting nowhere

But then you're swimming in the shallow end,

You take these broken bones

I'll tell would the you something, these things don't mend.

So we take the easy way out...and we even less happy.

So you want to be happy

Don't you know happy is never enough.

Yep, thanks for the reminder Mike!

I'm on the wrong train I can tell

'Cause I'm the only one who thinks so

Hard on the heels of getting somewhere

But there are things that we don't know.

Hmm - I've got on a lot of wrong trains, leapt of some whilst they were still going - have you, that’s leap of faith I can tell you.

So you want to be happy

Don't you know happy is never enough

OK I've got the message Mike! But I want to add that Enough is never happy, you always want more. Why have one, when you van have three. How much money is enough £1m, £5m, £50? Or do you have to look underneath for that person and say ok, they're enough for me and the money doesn't matter. 

If you can, you are a luckier person than Mike in Never Enough. Do you think there's an Enough and how much is it?

976 Marathons - 241 Ultras - 9 Guinness World Records - 1 Vision to walk again.