Post Traumatic Race Disorder

PTRD - I’m serious and I believe it’s a definite condition that people can feel following a running adventure. Please understand that I’m not belittling PTSD in any way, but the symptoms have a similarity. Prolonged exposure to multi-day marathons, be it in the desert or on the road, can lead to disturbing feelings of being lost, depressed and can alter the way that a person behaves - the symptoms lasting months after the event.

I can remember returning from the Marathon des Sables for the first time in 1999 feeling shell-shocked by what I’d experienced. It wasn’t a negative feeling at the time as I’d had an amazing ‘out-of-body’ experience or rather ‘out-of-normal-life’ experience. You see the race came at a time of change for me and opened my eyes to an unknown world of adventure. On my return, I felt lost with an overriding feeling of confusion. I couldn’t explain to those around me what I’d experienced, and it was the early days of email and before social media, so there was little connectivity with those that had been there with me. It made me start questioning everything I’d surrounded myself with in life. Relationships, career, even functioning. My brain started to question why simple things such as using a pedestrian crossing on a busy high street was needed, when in the desert such things were unheard of. I spent many minutes looking the lights and the crossing button as I remember.

 

I'd found out the hard way that life is far too complicated.

 

I experienced the same feelings following my forty-three days on the road to Lisbon from London in ‘04 and also following my 28marathons in 28 days for Stoptober in ’13. Following both adventures, and with the MDS in mind, I carefully detrained and detoxed myself back to some kind of normality. In more recent times, I’ve met people undertaking similar feats and warned them of the dangers of PTRD and how post experience the things they were trying to escape and the life-problems they’d stacked up would be there to run into on their return. It happens…

 

My cure has always been to sign up for the next big adventure so that I get the same euphoric feelings that running twenty-six point two or more can only bring. For those in Team Coleman that were with me at ULTRA-X Jordan earlier this month, I wouldn’t be surprised if they had some or all of the above feelings. It’s only natural. Within my group I know that there are feelings of being lost and some are some are still feeling broken but there are also those that feel empowered and ready for the next challengeafter righting the world they left post desert-retreat. Let’s face it, there’s a lot of time to process things in the desert, especially without any connectivity to the ‘outside world’.

 

That’s the ‘outside world’ which is full of life’s white noise, distraction and nonsense that masks the basic needs of existencecomplicated. For anyone planning their next adventure my advice is always to consider what you are going to do with what you learn from the journey pre-event, and how the lessons learned during the event will be distilled and filtered back into normal day-to-day life – as well as how are you going to deal with a good old helping of PTRD.

1.142 Marathons - 269 Ultras - 9 GWR - 15 Marathon des Sables - 2 ULTRA-X Jordan

The Price of Love - Bryan Ferry

After a fabulous week in the Wadi Rum desert with Team Coleman running the 250km ULTRA-X Jordan, one of my team members reminded me of a blog I’d written a couple of years ago that had helped her through the darks times that she’d experienced. Reading it back on the plane it resonated with me again as all I could feel was love. Love for those that had been with me in the desert, sharing the highs and lows of the desert and love for the people back home that were looking forward to seeing me, just as much as I was them. Anyway, here’s what was written in August ’20. 

‘A debt you pay with tears and pain’ - Ferry

 

I think we’ve all paid the price of love and have given our all trying to find it. The return - a lifetime of heartache, tears and pain. Our investment into relationships with other people is without question. My question to you is how much have you ever invested in yourself? I mean, how much value do you give yourself?

 

It’s a question well worth asking, although if you are low on confidence and self-esteem, the answer is no doubt - not a lot. It’s really sad as a lot of the folk I meet feel worthless. If they were a product on the BBC Dragon’s Den Programme and they were a Dragon - well they wouldn’t invest. 

 

Yet we are all worth self-investment. I mean what’s the point in living if you are not prepared to invest time, energy and money into the person in your world that probably needs it the most - namely YOU.

 

It’s strange how people lose their self-value. Take my weightloss clients for example - weight-gain isn’t an overnight market gain - it’s the result of people spending more time spinning plates simply getting through life, holding down a job, bringing up a family and maintaining their friendships. Time and energy spent externally with nothing left in the bank for self-investment.

 

A permanent state of overdraft with no sign of ever getting back into credit.

 

And okay there’s no magic overnight life-overdraft fix, yet time and time again people do regain their self-esteem, lose weight, potentially extend their lives and have a much richer life for a mere 22.8p a day. You see, I did a bit of ‘Coleman-Calculating’ and if working with me for five months yields an extra fifteen years’ of life - it’s a better return than Bitcoin.

 

So, what’s there to lose apart from unhealthy lifestyle and a relatively small amount of money. Nothing. In fact, it’s like winning the lottery every single day of one’s life, for the rest of one’s life. Health, pride, self-esteem, self-value, confidence, improved relationships with family, colleagues, friends, food and alcohol await those that are willing to pay the price of ‘change’. I can’t promise ‘love’ but it must improve even the chances of that, so why not invest some time in yourself today.

1,142 Marathons - 269 Ultras - 15 Marathon des Sables - 2 ULTRA-X Jordan - 9 GWR