I
saw the darkness in my heart, I saw the signs of my undoing' –
Gabriel
Song
Choice:- I never need and excuse to choose a Peter Gabriel song for my
blog and I was listening to his brilliant 1992 'live' album 'Secret World'
as I ran around Cardiff earlier on today. The uncanny thing was just
as I was listening to the above lyrics, I did catch my reflection in a bus
shelter window as I was running past. I didn't look too bad either, as it
looked like I was was running, rather than the strange trotting walk which has
been my enforced gait these past months.
I
believe it's the part of my recovery that's been missing and the past couple of
days of ' 'running' has really moved me on from being mentally caught in the 'dark'
for a while now.
As
Gabriel sings I'm sure 'the darkness still has work to do' and 'the knotted
chords' will still need some 'untying' but maybe I've negotiated yet another
GBS hurdle on my road to recovery. It really does fuck with your brain...
You see, the gains are now only marginal and unlike the some of the weekly milestones of last year, it's easy to feel becalmed and start believing that how I am now, is as good asI'm going to get. I know it's not, but sometimes it takes some harsh talking to one's inner self not to get down into the trap.
I'm aware of course that things will continue to get better over the next 12
months especially as maybe now I'm running tout of the darkness and into the
light - and I'll share my progress with you as ever as I continue this
'Ultra-marathon of Recovery'.
Rory Coleman - 990 Marathons - 244 Ultras - 14 Marathon des Sables
9 Guinness World Records - 8,541 Days' Alcohol Free - 390 Days' post GBS
& 1 Inspirational Running Memoir - Get your copy here.
Location:- Cardiff, Wales
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