Lyrics:-
‘Don't let life pass you by. Jump on in, get ready to fly’… Halliwell
& Nowels
Every
now and again a client will go silent and drop off my radar and ‘Revert to
Type’. It’s annoying for me as a coach and a real shame for them, as I truly
believe that everyone who comes to see me has what it takes to achieve their
goal. It's frustrating to see how quickly folk can become distracted and
corrode all the initial goodwill and momentum we build up together at our first
meeting. For some you see, on being released back into their own natural
environment, the cracks soon start to appear and the 'Failure Process' as I
call it, begins.
To
understand the 'Failure Process’, why it happens and where I can help folk in
the future, I thought I’d ask my Average2Awesome Facebook Group, (which is made
up of current and past clients), to share their thoughts on the ‘Failure
Process’ subject. I received some great feedback and that I hope you’ll also
find their replies as enlightening as I did. You might even identify some of
your own traits within them.
So,
here's what I asked...
What
is it that makes you ‘Fail’? ‘Fail’ to lose weight? ‘Fail’ to stop drinking
alcohol? ‘Fail’ to stop smoking? ‘Fail’ to stop taking recreational drugs?
‘Fail’ to finish a race? I want to know what makes you take your ‘Foot off the
Gas?
The
Facebook Group lit up with replies and I also received lengthy private emails
which fell into the following themes.
Peer
Pressure - ‘I
think because most of my friend’s drink, so I go along too’…
I
know how hard it can be standing out from the crowd, especially if everyone
else is happily getting slowly hammered and you’re not. Having been in that
situation many times myself in my previous life, where I was probably one of
the worst culprits in egging folk on to have just one more for the road before
leaving the pub, I found changing my ‘Peer Group’ helped change my drinking
habits no-end. The strength I found in liberating myself from the all the other
‘Weak Willed’ folk, I’d surrounded myself with, was overwhelming and after a
while I found I didn’t miss any of them at all. You see, I’d found the person
I’d been missing in my life for so many years - myself.
Previous
Life Experience - ‘A
long standing family problem was the root of my problem. I was so consumed by
anger, trying to fix an unfixable problem’…
Yep
shit happens and things outside of our control not only challenge us physically
but can have a lasting effect on our mental state. I’ve yet to meet anyone that
hasn’t been affected by one kind of life-crisis or another. Last year, I was
angry when I was struck down with Guillian-Barre Syndrome but eventually I
found the acceptance of my predicament gave me an inner calm where I could
reassess things and avoid the dreaded ‘Why me?’ which would’ve impose
suffocating limits on my own future expectations and goals. If anything, I felt
even more determined to get better and have never used my ‘Previous Life
Experience’ as an excuse.
Confidence – ‘With me
it's simply a lack of self-belief’…
Sometimes,
I don’t believe that the goal-setter shares my belief in their ability. I’ve
always had a clear picture of finishing whatever I’d set out to complete. A
100% ‘Starter Completer’ if ever there was one. Being honest with yourself and
with others is so important in this game. Don’t ask me to run a
‘2-hour-marathon’ or ‘Swim the Channel’ as it’s never going to happen but as a
Coach I’d never ask anyone to try anything they’re simply not capable of
completing.
Commitment - ‘I do enjoy
the excitement that going on a ‘Crazy Night can bring’…
‘Crazy
Nights’ are a thing of the past if you are taking on the ‘World’s Toughest
Footrace’ or reaching out for a new PB I’d say. They are definitely out if you
are going alcohol-free or desperately trying to lose weight as ‘Crazy Nights’
destroy days or even weeks of hard work and abstinence. It’s funny how ‘Crazy
Nights’ follow periods of ‘Great Sobriety’ in some cases and it’s interesting
how success in our culture attaches drinking ‘Champagne’ to anything from the
birth of a child to running 1,000 marathons.
All
or Nothing – ‘I describe my training state to people as either
‘On’ or ‘Off’ as there is little balance’…
Is
training really that ‘Black or White?’ Do you really need to a goal? Or is it
just another great excuse? A good simple set of basic life-rules to keep you on
the ‘Straight-and-Narrow should be enough, shouldn’t they?’ Training should
really be a 365-day, year-long process allowing for peaks rather than
time-outs, massive troughs and periods of inactivity in my book. So many people
use events as a reason to force themselves into activity in a hope just to
complete an extreme marathon-goal rather than compete in it. Nearly everyone I
coach for MdS has a ‘Race-Finish’ as their primary goal, very few I meet ever
commit to a ‘Top 100’ or an even bolder ‘Top 50’ goal.
Time – ‘I simply
just don’t have the time’…
Sadly,
this is the tipping point for many and the biggest catalyst for the ‘Failure
Process’ of all, especially if you follow Malcolm Gladwell’s rule where he
states that you need to have invested at least 10,000 hours in a
subject to become an expert. (That’s 3 hrs a day, every day for just over 9
years to save you working it out). I’ve achieved some major successes and I’ve
certainly clocked the 10,000 in running and being alcohol and cigarette-free of
which I’m exceptionally proud. I only wish I’d clocked the same amount of time
learning a musical instrument as I’ll always be a ‘Guitar Hero’ in my own mind.
I
suppose with hindsight, we can all say we wished we’d stuck at things and not
given up so easily when things got tough. For the people who replied to my
original question, they were all guilty of doing just that. However, unlike my
dream of playing guitar to a packed crowd at Wembley which I know I’ll never
do, they can start training towards their goal all over again, only this time
with the dedication, single-mindedness, drive, determination, endurance and
durability that it takes to become your own ‘Champion of Champions’ and achieve
their elusive ‘Personal Bests’ that will satisfy their thirst for success and
mark their time on the planet.
‘Dream
and Dream Big’, I say… Train and train hard. Live the dream and ‘Scream if you
wanna go faster’ and when you do I’ll be screaming with you. Just contact me if
you'd like my help in making a 'Success out of your Failures'.
Rory
Coleman - rory@rorycoleman.co.uk
1,001 Marathons
- 244 Ultras - 14 Marathon des Sables - 9 Guinness
World Records
Location: Cardiff,
Wales
No comments:
Post a Comment