Broken

Broken - or feeling Shattered?

Taken from ‘Songs from the Big Chair’, Tears for Fears 1985, three times platinum selling album. BROKEN is the perfect accompaniment for today’s blog about acknowledging our shortcomings and making a positive route out of a negative situation.

‘Between the searching and the need to work it out

I stop believing everything will be alright’…

I’m sure everyone’s felt BROKEN at one time or another in their life. I know I have. And what it feels like to be at your lowest point ever – ‘Point Zero’, I call it. I know a few folk who are there right now but avoiding reality perhaps, and carrying on in a state of denial. Anyone that’s addicted is a good liar full of BS and the truth is, that they lie mostly to themselves. It’s always fascinating how folk, me included, just bury their heads and hope that things will magically get better… but they never do, do they?

‘Broken, we are broken’…

I’ve felt BROKEN at the end of the 145 mile Grand Union Canal Race - there’s simply nothing you can do, when your body is on fire after a couple of days of running down a canal towpath. I felt BROKEN with Guillain–Barré Syndrome, probably more physically in the first stages but then more mentally when the realisation of the condition started to hit home and the magic remedy proved not to be forth-coming.

‘I'm walking uphill being turned around and round

Secret in motion when my feet are on the ground’…

That’s when the darkness can sets in. I’m not sure it did in my case as I thought early on about a route out of the situation that I’d found myself in and that’s where the self-honesty came in. Realising you are BROKEN and in need of help is a vital part of a much happier existence. Sure, losing 50kgs or becoming alcohol-free helps, it cures the symptoms but it doesn’t remove the problem that kicked off the depression that led to the addiction in the first place. Realising that you’re still BROKEN is imperative to a healthy future, both in mind and body. Hmm sound familiar?

‘Broken, we are broken’…

Nearly 9,000 days on from my BROKEN realisation, or in fact 9,597 from that initial ‘Road to Damascus Moment’ – I now realise I wasted 625 days or nearly two years, procrastinating my predicament. What an idiot! I could excuse myself and say I wasn’t in the right time or place to change my thought process – but I won’t, I simply became a victim. A victim of my own doing – just as you are perhaps?

‘In my mind's eye, One little boy anger one little man

Funny how time flies’…

‘Tempus’ does in fact ‘Fugit’ and I’m glad I found a route out. Next year marks my ‘Silver Jubilee of Personal Change’. Don’t worry, I’ll be writing a fair bit on the subject as feeling BROKEN can be a very positive thing – believe me.

How BROKEN do you feel this Monday morning?

1,022 Marathons - 248 Ultras - 15 Marathon des Sables - 9 Guinness World Records