Why Bother?

Every day we undertake a huge number of personal tasks and challenges that we call ‘Life’. We are living that ‘Life’ as a result of options and choices that we believed were the right at that particular moment in time. And, as a result, where we find ourselves at any one time, is of our own doing and have no-one else to blame.

It’s far too easy to become a victim and say ‘why me?’ Or as in my case self-loath and head into a darkness of depression and use alcohol to mask the pain of failing. ‘Point Zero’ as I refer to it, isn’t somewhere you reach overnight. It’s a gradual thing that slowly creeps up on you. It speeds up the more helpless you become and before you know it has you firmly in it’s grasp. If you’ve been there, you’ll understand where I’m coming from.

 

Back then, the only way out was to toughen up as reaching out was a sign of weakness not strength as it is today. At 58 years of age, I am in a much wiser position looking in life’s rear view mirror. I can admit that by the time I was 31, I’d created a huge mess that was not only challenging me mentally but physically too. That’s why on 5^th Jan 1994, I decided to make some changes, massive changes in fact and ‘getting fit’ quickly became my salvation and foundation for a ‘New Life’ where I found a ‘New Rory’.

 

I know personally that it’s a huge step to stop drinking, smoking or over-eating.

 

It took me only six months to reverse my very poor levels of health and fitness. And crossing the finish line of my first marathon is one of my life’s greatest achievements. Accomplishing a further 1000+ marathons impossible to my own previous incarnation.

 

Now, I’m not saying that you have to run 26.2 miles, be an Ironman Triathlete or become a body-builder but whatever life choices you make now or in the future, be it starting a new job, a new relationship or over-coming an illness or accident – fitness REALLY helps.

 

I know I’m far from perfect but I was lucky enough to be able to make positive changes to my behaviour that have given me huge satisfaction and a career where I can now help other people to reach their own fitness and life goals.

 

You see it’s far too easy to say ‘Why bother?’… but actually you must. Because if you do, you will be pleased you did. Now I’m always happy to be bothered and please reach out if you want to bother in 2021 and beyond.

 

Amen.

1,073 Marathons - 255 Ultras - 9 Guinness World Records 

26 years' of Being Bothered

Time - The Pink Floyd

‘Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time’ - Wright

There’s never a right time or enough time is there? Our understanding of ‘Time’ goes back to the beginnings of the human race. Primeval man divided our annual solar transit into seasons by cleverly building one of the first timepieces at Stonehenge in around 3000bc, which remarkably still keeps perfect ‘time’ to this day. 

 

Of course there were more hourly timepieces invented over the centuries which have become far more accurate. In Victorian times, actually knowing the time had a value as timepieces were so few and far between - people actually paid find out what time it was, well before the ‘Speaking Clock’ (whose days must be numbered)… 

 

People use their phones as watches nowadays and I imagine that there must be an hourly global surge of energy as mobile phones the world over alarm their owners it’s ‘time’ to get up. I know I do…

 

Our fascination for ‘time’ and it’s accuracy has led to the invention of the Caesium Fountain Atomic Clock that’s so accurate, it misses only a second in every 15 billion years or so - although I’m not sure how you’d actually measure that.

 

Anyway, it’s easy to see how our lives are dominated by ‘Time’. My whole working day is.

 

But there’s hope - according to scientists in 200 million years we will be able to enjoy a 25-hour-day, which I’m sure we’d all welcome as there are never enough hours in the day to fit everything in - ha-ha.

 

For the record - There’s always ‘Time’. We just don’t make ‘Time’.

 

‘Time’ is just a mechanism for us to comprehend our position in ‘Time and Space’. To give us some kind of understanding of the past, the present and the future. Maybe it’s something we contemplate the older we get.

 

That’s why I find wasting ‘Time’ as being a crime and being ‘Bored’ unfathomable as I can’t ever think of a ‘Time’ when I’m personally not busy. But then I might be just as guilty for never taking a ‘Time’ out for contemplation or reflection - you could say that?

 

I do know I’ve made pretty good use of my ‘Time’ so far and will endeavour to keep valuing every second I get - how’s your ‘Time’ management?

1,072 Marathons - 255 Ultras - 9 Guinness World Records - 15 Marathon des Sables

Be a Success like Ben...

Ben Barbanel

I love helping people achieve their dream goal and when they do I bask in their success just as much as they do. I thought I'd share this message from Ben who's lost 18.1kgs (40lbs) in five months. Amazing during the Lockdown period, I'm sure you'll agree. Here is his message to me on being under 12st - word-for-word...

Rory

I wanted to thank you for all your help over the past months. When we spoke on the 1st June I was sceptical, and remained so for some time.

But I stuck with it, and it worked. My relationship and attitude towards food has changed for ever - I’m sure. In the main, I no longer live to eat!

Eating when hungry, to give me fuel, smaller portions, the right food, not standing in the pantry just eating shit...

Thank you!

My wife is now a believer too!

This hasn’t just been about weight for me - I’m now more in tune with my mind. My thoughts, my attitude, my goals, my motivations. I'll continue to sing your praises and recommend you and hopefully I’ll be able to provide a pipeline of customers for you.

My best wishes to you and my sincere thanks for undoubtedly extending my life.

Ben

How about that? And, if you want to be like Ben - well just let me know. I'd love to be adding your testimony to his in a few short months from now.

1069 Marathons - 255 Ultras - 9 Guinness World Records - 15 Marathon des Sables

Don't stop believin' - Journey

'Motivation'

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been thinking a lot about motivation. And feeling Motivated, I checked out ‘Motivation’ in Google and found that ‘Motivation’ involves the biological, emotional, social, and cognitive forces that activate behaviour’. So there and I’m sure it does- but in plain ‘Rory-speak’ (not being a man of great reading), I thought I’d search for some kind of meaning that I could actually understand.

 

With my very limited reading attention span, I quickly learned of ‘Intrinsic’ and ‘Extrinsic’- ‘Motivation’. ‘Intrinsic’ meaning coming from within and ‘Extrinsic’ coming from outside. And rather than just copy and pasting from other authors, I thought it best to give an insight to my own thought process.

 

So, I see ‘Motivation’ as being either ‘Pleasure’ or ‘Reward’ based regarded as ‘Intrinsic’ or ‘Extrinsic’. Simple enough?

 

And it’s funny how over the years ones focus changes. Personally, I’ve moved from definitely being ‘Extrinsically’ motivated’ to now being ‘Intrinsically’ driven. I mean, all those marathons? Most definitely in the ‘Pleasurable’ part of my spectrum. Doing the marathons themselves satisfied my ‘Motivation’. As for a rewards, if you class world record certificates and finishers medals as rewards, well I’m not that fussed - I can’t be as they are gathering dust, stashed away in the loft.

 

In my younger days, I was certainly motivated by work, fast cars and position. And every now and then when I see an old 1997 BMW 3 series, my heart misses a tiny beat as I think back to the time I spent racing my life away on a 160 mile M40 commute to work - living life, very dangerously, in the fast lane to achieve what I thought would deliver satisfaction. A satisfaction that it simply didn’t fulfil, and one that my running experiences delivered time and time again.

 

Now, I’m not saying that everyone needs to start running ultra-marathons to find ‘transcendence’ but seeking and finding ‘Motivation’ from within is undeniably satisfying and makes all material things feel worthless. To me, the finish line of any race is as priceless as any part of the journey. 

 

I have many thoughts on ‘Motivation’ and maybe it’s habitual… Simply something you either have or don’t have? I do know as an addict and from working with other addicts, we possess it in abundance. Hmm…

 

So, right now, if you are lacking ‘Motivation’, think about why you are striving for some things and not for others. Is it ‘Pleasurable’ or a ‘Reward’. My BMW - P354 GDA is long gone (I checked on the Govt Website) but my marathon PB will live with me forever.

 

How’s your motivation?

 

1066 Marathons - 255 Ultras - 15 Marathon des Sables - 9 Guinness World Records

The Eight Stages of Addiction Escape…

Addiction is always a hot topic and escape from its claws can be a lifelong trial for some. Being somewhat of an addict myself, I didn’t know that these stages really existed. I just did what most folk do when they are in ‘Addiction Peril’ - namely pack up, mess up and try again.

Now, I’ve seen some very promising and talented individuals end up becoming all consumed by their dependence on a complete spectrum of booze, drugs and behavioural traits. Even the acknowledgement of their situation is too much to take on board, which takes me nicely onto stage one.

1. Denial

We all know folk that are in ‘Denial’. Yes, acquaintances that have no idea that they are out of control or endangering themselves and the lives of others. Their once a month occasional blow-out, has spiralled into a daily need. It’s a process that happens all to quickly and It’s amazing that ‘a-once-in-every-28-days-kinda-thing’ can become an all-consuming ‘28-in-28’ necessity. I’ve been there myself, fingers in my ears, blocking out the observations of my nearest and dearest as I continued my self-destructive behaviour. Put simply, some folk are quite happy killing themselves.

2. Acknowledgment

Becoming aware of an Addiction takes time. It feels like the Addiction has slowly crept up on you - sort of when you weren’t looking. The glass of wine after work to unwind has become two, three, a bottle - two bottles, every day. Every morning has become a bit of a battle to get out of bed and the first few fuzzy hours are hastily coffee-filled as the day finally clears around lunchtime to start the whole process again. When I speak to daily one-bottlers about seeing three and four bottlers I always find it amusing how they say, ‘I’m not that bad’, but they are - they just haven’t ‘acknowledged their precarious position, yet. 

3. Not Today

When they have, well that’s when the ‘Dithering’ starts. Do you know an ‘Addiction Ditherer’? Yes they’ve ‘fessed up. Come clean. Acknowledged their situation but are really nowhere nearer sorting it out. This stage can last the longest and I’m sure we all know serial cigarette smokers for instance that say ‘I’d love to give up’ yet really you know they never will as they love smoking too much or feel like they’ve smoked for so long that there wouldn’t be any health benefits to be gained. How wrong they are and at over £10 a packet - how much poorer they are too. I remember being at stage three for some time before plucking up the courage for Stage Four as that, takes balls.

4. Next Week

Yes, picking YOUR day, the day that can change your life forever. I remember mine most clearly - the 5th January 1994. It took a huge amount of strength and personal realisation that I needed to change. Realising my ‘Self-failure’ and ‘Weakness of Character’ was a bitter pill to swallow. Admitting to myself was one thing, admitting it to someone else - well that was another matter, so I spent a fair bit of time in the ‘Next Week’ stage as there’s nothing more frightening than standing on the edge of a new future minus your best friend - Addiction.

5. Action

But then you take a deep breath and jump, it’s exhilarating. It’s fun to be free. Full of Adrenalin and positive thoughts. Well for a few days anyway, until the cracks start to appear and the hunger pangs of addiction start eating away like worms into your brain - consuming your inner resolve and goodwill. And don’t get me wrong, some folk grab freedom at the first opportunity. One short, sharp shock being all that’s needed to reverse the addiction tailspin in a single dose. If only it happened like that for everyone.

6. Failure

On average, it takes four times through the ‘Action-Failure-Cycle’ - an average. The ‘F’ word of Addiction is so condemning. For those looking for eternal abstention we’ll say from booze - the day count is there as an incentive as well as a final condemnation of defeat as the clock resets to zero and the whole process starts over. Food Addiction? Well, that’s more of a ‘Grey Area’ as even the mighty weightloss success stories I’ve helped to create will admit to a few sins along the way. Some folk take failure as a given when setting out on achieving their goal - I’ve always been mindful that any hint of failure must be put out of mind for success to happen and the ‘F’ word to happily ‘F’ off. 

7. Action

And back it’s back to Stage Five, well Stage three really if you really need a run up to tackle your obsession once again. I get the ‘Learning from Failure’ analogy and as a nation we love someone winning against the odds - succeeding after a making a complete balls-up the first time round. Only too often, this becomes the norm and folk become Yo-Yo Slimmers, Drinkers and worst of all Negative-Thinkers. My advice is always to look ahead with a blue-sky attitude - where the possibilities of life far outweigh the Kryptonite that’s attacking your inner resolve. Only thinking about successfully completing the next 24hrs in your quest to become the ‘Real’ you. The one that isn’t distracted, behaviour obsessed - one that feels calm and liberated. 

8. Termination

And when you are free, you’ll look back and wonder why you ever got so addicted in the first place. Why Booze, Drugs or Food became such an emotional crutch and such a problem. You might not even know you are a ‘Terminator’ - I didn’t. I set off on my journey just seeing if I could complete just one day, then a month and then a year. My obsession to do something has become an obsession not to do the same thing. A positive outcome from a dark time that’s now hidden in the vaults right at the back of my mind that’s now covered in a layer of positivity and achievements that mask any notion of a Stage Six Failure and continue to encourage me to help those who find themselves in a similar predicament.

So, let the battle begin. Addiction or Compulsive Behaviour of any kind eats away at the soul. Each morning, we get up with the best of intentions accidents happen, things go wrong, don’t go to plan or we plainly have a shitty day. Staying strong in these moments, well that’s the key to success as it’s easier to live life clean when things are going well.

9. Call me...

And if any of the above rings true, well it’s time for a change. Time to be free of the ‘Burden of Addiction’ and time to be AWESOME. 

So contact me and I'll help you start living a cleaner, happier, longer life - Amen.

1,059 Marathons - 255 Ultras - 9 Guinness World Records - 15 Marathon des Sables

The Price of Love...

‘A debt you pay with tears and pain’ - Ferry

I think we’ve all paid for the price of love and have given everything in trying to find it. The return - a lifetime of heartache, tears and pain. Our investment into relationships with other people goes without question. My question to you though, is how much have you invested in yourself? 

I mean, how much value do you give yourself?

It’s a question well worth asking and if right now, you are low on confidence and self-esteem, the answer is no doubt - not a lot. It’s really sad affair as a lot of the folk I meet feel worthless. If they were put forward as a product on BBC’s Dragon’s Den Programme and they were a Dragon – they certainly wouldn’t invest. 

Yet we are all worth self-investment. I mean what’s the point in living if you are not prepared to invest your time, energy and money into the person in your world that probably needs it the most - YOU.

It’s strange how people lose their self-value. Take my weightloss clients for example - weight-gain isn’t an overnight happening - it’s the result of spending more time spinning plates getting through life, holding down a job, bringing up a family and ignoring one’s lifestyle. Time and energy is spent externally with nothing left in the bank for self-investment.

A permanent state of being overdrawn without hope of credit.

And okay there’s no magic overnight life-overdraft fix, yet time and time again people do regain their self-esteem, lose weight, potentially extend their lives and have a much richer life for a mere 22.8p a day. Yes just 22.8p a day. Well that’s how I see it and I did a bit of ‘Coleman-Calculating’ and if working with me for five months yields an extra fifteen years’ of life - it’s a better return than Bitcoin.

So, what’s there to lose apart from unhealthy lifestyle and a relatively small amount of money. Nothing. In fact, it’s like winning the lottery every single day of your life, for the rest of your life. A much more rewarding life.

One where health, pride, self-esteem, self-value, confidence, improved relationships with family, colleagues, friends, food and alcohol await those that are willing to pay the price of ‘change’ and ‘self-love’. I can’t promise true ‘love’, but it must improve the chances of that too, so why not invest some time in yourself today.

You only have yourself to blame…

1,056 Marathons, 255 Ultras, 9 Guinness World Records & 15 Marathon des Sables

Everything in it's Right Place - Radiohead

I woke up - Tom Yorke

Or did you waste the last 100 days? There’s nothing worse than wasting time in my opinion. Nothing worse than saying ‘If only’ or feeling like you’ve missed out on a ‘Golden Opportunity’. Even worse if you didn’t make the past 100 days a positive change in your own personal development as if you didn’t notice, the World as we knew it changed forever – now be honest, have you changed with it?

The thing is, if you didn’t grasp the opportunity don’t cry too much as here’s some good news for you – there’s a whole new 100 days to have a go at today. And why not, you’ve got nothing to lose.

If October 9^th feels a lightyear away, in reality it isn’t. It’ll be here before you know it and you’ll be saying then ‘If only’ and ‘I wish I’d’ all over again or like will you be like my client Diana? She said to me this morning, ‘I’ve got to shopping as I’m now 2st lighter, and none of my pre-lockdown work clothes fit’. Diana is one of the many people I’ve coached during the past three months or so that are now, fitter, lighter and happier that they’ve grasped the lockdown opportunity of a lifetime. FTR - Diana is back to her GB elite race fitness too.

Simply Amazing!

Now, whether we will ever have to endure the strange times of 2020 ever again in our lifetime, who knows. What I do know is that there doesn’t have to be a National Crisis to give you the kick needed to undergo a short time of Personal change. 

Change can happen at any time, all you need to do is to wake up and put ‘Everything in its Right Place.

I mean, where do you want to be in 100 days?

1,053 Marathons - 255 Ultra-marathons - 9 Guinness World Records - 15 Marathon des Sables

Road to Nowhere - Talking Heads

And the future is certain give us time to work it out… Byrne

If you have lost direction and feel like you are on a Road to Nowhere right now, well you are not alone – The whole world has been turned upside down and finding any direction, let alone the right direction, can feel impossible right now. But if you step out of the madness, even for a short while and take a simple approach, you could find yourself back on track and ahead of the pack. I’m workig with many clients doing just that.

So with that in mind, here’s a question for you about ‘Direction’. 

‘When was the last time you took a journey and didn’t use a Sat-Nav?’

If I’m honest, I use mine even when I’m driving locally in Cardiff. Not because I don’t know where I’m going but because I like to know that I’m travelling the optimum route, can avoid delays and know exactly to the minute when I’m going to arrive at my destination. Kinda sad you might say, but it keeps me on-time and patient which is a very important part of my work as I hate being late and arriving frustrated.

Now in my earlier ‘On-the-road-sales-career’, I’d drive with an A-to-Z perched on my lap or with a print-out of an AA route planner so I had a visual plan of my route. I mean, asking for directions was a complete no-no wasn’t it? In 2004, when I ran to Lisbon I used nothing more than a Michelin Road Atlas to get me there. I didn’t just start in London and set off blindly just hoping that I’d get there, my route was planned.Highlighted with a pink highlighter in fact and split nicely in 43 bite-sized 30 mile chunks. It had to be so I arrived at the 2004 Football Euros on match-day.

With planning in mind, my next question is, ‘Why do we lead our lives without direction, focus and timeframe?’

If only we all had a Personal Sat-Navs eh? Oh, life would be SO easy. Imagine the ‘Road to Nowhere’ becoming the ‘Road to Somewhere’. Then again, I believe we already possess a Personal Sat-Nav. It’s just that we either don’t know how to use it or plainly ignore the direction in which we are being pointed. Sadly there’s no manual to follow, quick start guide or YouTube movie to explain. 

Life’s more of a trial and error experiment for most, yet it doesn’t have to be. All you need to do is reach out and ask for help, especially in these times of uncertainty when there’s a fantastic opportunity staring you in the face to make a change and choose a new direction.

1,052 Marathons, 255 Ultras, 9 Guinness World Records & 15 Marathon des Sables

On the Run... The Pink Floyd

Live for today, gone tomorrow, that's me… Waters

Well, they say nothing lasts forever. And in our current rapidly changing world, the shelf-life of anything or anyone for that matter must be dramatically reduced. 

At this time, we’ve been instructed to be ‘Resilient’. It’s a word that’s being used a lot at the moment as our very existence is being threatened. Yet, when it comes to being ‘Resilient’ it’s not so easy as it sounds. Being able to stick at things without a definitive timespan is enough to fry many a brain and will do over the next few months for many.

‘Resilience’ is more of an inherent quality perhaps and also lacks a quantifiable scale. I mean, just how 'Resilient' are you? Looking back at my childhood, I was encouraged to ‘stick at things’ and most of the time did. That's where my ‘Resilience’ was borne. However, with my own children it’s harder to keep them on task due to the huge amount of choice, outside influence and digital white noise, certainly with my little ones anyway. Perhaps then, ‘Resilience’ grows with age in a kinda ‘Fuzzy Logic Way’, where we learn to endure higher degrees of hardship and discomfort learning to tough things out as we grow.

Maybe that way of learning helped me prepare to run further and further distances and also overcome serious illness. It's a test of character that right now that millions of people in the UK, let alone all over the world, are being subjected to where they will find their ‘Limit of Human Endurance’ as they face up to a silent killer that can strike anyone, anywhere at any time regardless of age, sex or creed. Having the determination to see this crisis out, will be the biggest challenge of our lifetime.

How we perceive that challenge and how we see our own existence post Covid-19 is the key. Not getting caught up in the moment is where I've succeeded in the past and I always try and see the positives in any situation. Let’s face it, the end of Covid-19 isn’t really the end, it’s just the start of a new beginning. 

And it will come to an end, just not today or tomorrow but one day.

Going forwards, I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. It’s probably going to get a lot harder, who knows - but be prepared. Being able to see an end and adjust to a new way of living and working will define us all, you and me included.

So 'Live for today and Live tomorrow', that’s what I doing…

1,052 Marathons, 255 Ultras, 15 Marathon des Sables, 9 Guinness World Records

Get the Message - Electronic

I've always thought of you as my brick wall…

Well, it’s the end of a most extraordinary April. Thirty days where we’ve been exposed to a huge amount of information both in the media and online. It’s been a time of huge change and acceptance for most and as a broadcaster of such online information, I thought I’d investigate what I’ve been broadcasting to anyone prepared to listen.

Isn't it sweet?
So on close inspection, I’ve posted every day in April, using my tried and tested ‘Quotebox’ method on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Instagram. Of the twenty-five quotes (above) from 1^st - 25^th April, they appear to fall into one of four message categories:-

• Inspiration
• Inquisition
• Instruction
• Imitation.

Inspiration

Interestingly, only 10/25 fell into the ‘Inspirational’ zone. The main reason, I believe, for broadcasting my thought for the day. And as a ‘Transformation Coach’ - surely my ‘raison d'être’, a key daily message - a catalyst for personal reform. My aim to post a thought provoking statement to change lives forever – with a 40% ‘inspiration’ success rate.

Inquisition

For the want of a better word beginning with ‘In’, where instead of being Inspirational, my quote was in fact more of a question. In my quest for delivering ‘Inspiration’, luckily only 2/25 of my ‘Quotes’ asked for a direct response.A waste perhaps, as the questions go unanswered.

Instruction

These were the days where I delivered a simple message of personal ‘improvement’. A surprising 36% where my daily messages said ‘Do this’ in a variety of combinations, at maximum volume in some cases. And when I say ‘Surprising’ I’m genuinely ‘Surprised’ as my aim is to lead, not to shout.

Imitation

When I hear or see something that’s inspired me, I like to share it. Yes, it can be a lyric from the Bee Gees - ‘Stayin’ Alive’ or Kate Bush’s - ‘Sensual World’ or dialogue from a TV Show or Film that’s resonated with me. So folk can enjoy them as well, I always name the source for a quick ‘Google’. The songs especially always highlight to me how it felt to live through those times – from artists that I admire for their sheer skill and creativity. There’s no need for my list of ‘twenty albums that have made an impact on me’ – if you are a regular blog reader, you’ll already know what they are.

Take my independent point of view…

And of course, it’s only how I see and perceive the world around me – it’s designed purely to provoke thought and inspire and following my investigation I’ll endeavour to be more ‘Inspirational’. Especially, as we continue to endure our toughest challenge in living history.

Getting my Message?

1,052 Marathons, 255 Ultras, 9 Guinness World Records & 15 Marathon des Sables