Silver Machine - Hawkwind

7th April 1999 - Long Day - 74.4 Km (46.25 miles)

It’s twenty-five years since I first ran the Marathon des Sables. 1999 feels like a very, very l-o-o-o-o-o-ng time ago indeed and life has certainly delivered many ups and downs along the way. Looking back, I was 37, and probably at my fittest ever and the MDS was only part of an 86-marathon bumper year of running – those were the days! I remember being SO excited about the race.

So, I’ll try and explain what the 14^th edition of the race was like to and how it made me feel at the time. I am looking back at the adventure through some very rose-tinted spectacles and some of the details are a bit of a blur if I’m being honest. I went to Morocco, without a clue of what lay ahead, sharing the experience with a bunch of complete strangers that soon became life-long friends. 

 

Together the desert became life-affirming and life-changing in the matter of a few short days.

 

From start to finish, it was amazing with around 600 people racing the ‘World’s Toughest Footrace’. (I hope that things at will continue to be amazing under its new ownership especially as this will be the longest MDS ever, at a ball-breaking 252kms). I say we raced as not many people walked back then. We didn’t have gaiters, walking poles or Garmin GPS – it was hardcore. 

 

Nor did we have Gels or any real nutritional advice to follow as the internet didn’t really exist and no heat acclimation took place. We threw the salt tablets we were given away. Mobile phones simply didn’t work out there and music would only have been from a portable CD player or Cassette. I took photos using a small, analogue Canon Ixus camera and any communication back to the UK, was made using the organiser’s satellite phone – speaking and then saying ‘Over’ at the end of each sentence.

 

At the race – you went dark.

 

What to take was a bit of a lottery as you couldn’t find anyone who’d done the race, to interrogate for advice. The race was shrouded in mystery and was a third of its current price! Water was rationed to 1.5l a checkpoint there were warm sun-baked cans of Moroccan Coca-Cola at the finish line, along with a long queue for the cardboard boxes that the water bottles came in as that was a handy mattress. It looked like cardboard city in the tents.

 

The race might have been a bit shorter, but no-one could really tell how far it was each day. Pre-Garmin, all we could do for distance travelled, was to work out time elapsed to see if we were near the next checkpoint. The CPs were carefully hidden behind sand dunes, so they came into view just at the last moment for an added twist of desert cruelty.

 

Was it harder? Hmm – It’s hard to say - it was different. Most people ran. The kit and equipment were only as good as you could find from your local Outdoor shop – you just had to make do with what you took and beg or borrow what you’d forgotten to take. I can remember cooking-up some shocking freeze-dried meals and topping up my rations with Powerbars to make up the daily 2000Kcals requirement.

 

Each item of kit and all of the food taken was scrutinised by the organisation – registration took all day. 

 

The race was VERY French which alienated some of the Brits taking part. There were some hot exchanges when some of the rules were broken in error and there was a sit-down protest as I remember, which delayed some of the British contingent starting on marathon day.

 

We survived though. Enough to endure a lengthy Gala Dinner and the Hotel Bel-Air before the King of Morocco dropped in by Chinook to present the trophies to the top 10 Men runners - only. It feels like a different era.

 

It did however leave a permanent mark on my life as I experienced a huge loss on my return which I now call Post Traumatic Race Disorder (PTRD) and to overcome the symptoms, I immediately entered the 2000 race.

 

And I’ve returned to the race many times since then and this year will be my 17^th MDS. I wasn’t there in the years 2001-5 or 2019-22 you see, as I thought I’d given my everything out in the sand, yet I went back in 2023, which proved to be an amazing experience - so-much-so I’ve been lured out to race and live the MDS dream once again, even though at 62 I am now just an MDS-Fun-Runner.

 

But what’s not to like as it’s a new chapter for the race, I mean, is this the 38^th MDS or the 1^st MDS Legendary? – Well, we will find out soon enough and I hope my friend Ex-Race Director, Patrick Bauer makes a cameo appearance. An MDS without him being there is still a strange thought, as in my mind he IS the MDS.

 

However, my thoughts are that the desert is the desert. Jebel Oftal and its rock face with ropes await. Will it be tough – of course it will. Will it be enjoyable – well I hope so as I’m going to be surrounded by some great people again this year, not only the people that I coach but the great group of runners from Walking With the Wounded, I’ve help prepare. 

 

Meeting my wife in 2009 and working with Sir Ranulph in 2015 are proper stand-out years but then each year the race leaves a footprint in everyone’s heart – it has in mine sixteen times and no doubt it will again this year.

 

So if you are an MDS Fresher, as I was in 1999, don’t have nightmares about the race, just enjoy the whole MDS experience – there’s nothing quite like it and if you are going this year, I’ll see you out there in the sandpit.

1,181 Marathons - 276 Ultras - 16 MDS - 9 GWR - 1 Life

Help! - The Beatles

The Eight Stages of Addiction Escape…

Addiction is always a hot topic and escape from its claws can be a lifelong trial for some. Being somewhat of a past addict myself, I didn’t know that these stages actually existed. I just did what most folk do when they are in ‘Addiction Peril’ - namely try to abstain, mess up and then try again.

 

Now, I’ve seen some very promising and talented individuals end up becoming all consumed by their dependence on a complete spectrum of booze, drugs and behavioural traits. Even the acknowledgement of their situation is sometimes too much to take on board and admit to their condition - which takes me nicely onto stage one.

 

1. Denial

 

We all know folk that are in ‘Denial’. Yes, acquaintances that have no idea that they are out of control or endangering themselves and the lives of others. Their once-a-month occasional blow-out has spiralled into a daily need. It’s a process that happens all too quickly and It’s amazing that ‘a-once-month-kinda-thing’ can become an all-consuming ‘30-in-30’ necessity. I’ve been there myself, fingers in my ears, blocking out the observations of my nearest and dearest as I continued my self-destructive behaviour. Put simply, some folk are quite happy killing themselves.

 

2. Acknowledgment

 

Becoming aware of an Addiction takes time. It feels like the Addiction has slowly crept up - sort of when you weren’t looking. The glass of wine after work to unwind has become two or three, then a bottle or two bottles, every day. Every morning has become a bit of a battle to get out of bed and the first few fuzzy hours are hastily coffee-filled as the day finally clears around lunchtime to start the whole process again. When I speak to daily one-bottlers about seeing three and four bottlers I always find it amusing how they say, ‘Oh, I’m not that bad’, but they are - they just haven’t ‘acknowledged their precarious position.

 

3. Not Today

 

When they have finally realised, well that’s when the ‘Dithering’ starts. Do you know an ‘Addiction Ditherer’? Yes they’ve ‘fessed up. Come clean. Acknowledged their situation but are really nowhere nearer sorting it out. This stage can last the longest and I’m sure we all know serial cigarette smokers for instance that say ‘I’d love to give up’ yet really you know they never will as they love smoking too much or feel like they’ve smoked for so long that there wouldn’t be any health benefits to be gained. How wrong they are and at over £18 a packet - how much poorer they are too. I remember being at stage three for some time before plucking up the courage for Stage Four as that, takes balls.

 

4. Next Week

 

Yes, picking YOUR day, the day that can change your life forever. I remember mine most clearly. It took a huge amount of strength and personal realisation that I needed to change. Realising my ‘Self-failure’ and ‘Weakness of Character’ was a bitter pill to swallow. Admitting to myself was one thing, admitting it to someone else - well that was another matter, so I spent a fair bit of time in the ‘Next Week’ stage as there’s nothing more frightening than standing on the edge of a new future minus your best friend - Addiction.

 

5. Action

 

But then you take a deep breath and jump, it’s exhilarating. It’s fun to be free. Full of Adrenalin and positive thoughts. Well for a few days anyway, until the cracks start to appear and the hunger pangs of Addiction start eating away like worms into your brain - consuming your inner resolve and goodwill. And don’t get me wrong, some folk grab freedom at the first opportunity. One short, sharp shock being all that’s needed to reverse the Addiction tailspin in a single dose. If only it happened like that for everyone.

 

6. Failure

 

On average, it takes four times to travel through the ‘Action-Failure-Cycle’ on average. The ‘F’ word of Addiction is so condemning. For those looking for eternal abstention we’ll say from booze - counting the days is an incentive as well as a final condemnation of defeat as the clock resets to zero and the whole process starts over. Food Addiction? Well, that’s more of a ‘Grey Area’ as even the mighty weightloss success stories I’ve helped to create will admit to a few sins along the way. Some folk take failure as a given when setting out on achieving their goal - I’ve always been mindful that any hint of failure must be put out of mind for success to happen and the ‘F’ word to happily ‘F’ off. 

 

7. Action

 

And back it’s back to Stage Five, well Stage three really if you really need a run up to tackle your obsession once again. I get the ‘Learning from Failure’ analogy and as a nation we love someone winning against the odds - succeeding after a making a complete balls-up the first time round. Only too often, this becomes the norm and folk become Yo-Yo Slimmers, Yo-Yo Drinkers and worst of all Negative-Thinkers. My advice is always to look ahead with a blue-sky attitude - where the possibilities of life far outweigh the Kryptonite that’s attacking your inner resolve. 

 

Only thinking about successfully completing the next 24hrs in your quest to become the ‘Real’ you. The one that isn’t distracted, behaviour obsessed, the one that feels calm and liberated. 

 

8. Termination

 

And when you are free, you’ll look back and wonder why you ever got so addicted in the first place. Why Booze, Drugs or Food became such an emotional crutch and such a problem, you’ll never know. You might not even know you are a ‘Terminator’ - I didn’t. I set off on my journey just seeing if I could complete just one day, then a month and then a year. My obsession to do something has become an obsession not to do the same thing. A positive outcome from a dark time that’s now hidden in the vaults right at the back of my mind that’s now covered in a layer of positivity and achievements that mask any notion of a Stage Six Failure that continue to encourage me to help those who find themselves in a similar predicament.

 

So, let battle begin. Addiction or Compulsive Behaviour of any kind eats away at the soul. Each morning, we get up with the best of intentions, accidents happen, things go wrong, don’t go to plan or we plainly have a shitty day. Staying strong in these moments, well that’s the key to success as it’s easier to live life clean when things are going well.

 

And if any of the above rings true, well it’s time for a change. Time to be free of the ‘Burden of Addiction’ and time to be AWESOME. 

 

A better life awaits – What’s stopping you? I can help you if you'd like someone to talk to...

1,180 Marathons - 276 ULTRAS - 11,031 Days' Sober

Let in the Sun - Take That!

Heaven

When was the last time you had a ‘Life Moment’? A moment in time that will live with you forever. One that will become engrained into your DNA. 

Like most folk, I’ve had many both positive and negative moments but I’m going to describe a couple of experiences where suddenly the penny dropped - that we are not on the planet that long and that despite everything that life throws at us we make our own memories.

 

The first happened back in 2004 when I ran 2004km in 43 days from London to Lisbon for Euro 2004. I’d been on the road for at least a month, and I’d reached central Spain. These were solo daily marathons where it was just me running along immersed in thought and rolling landscapes. After surviving the arid conditions of central Spain, I’d reached a more arable, rolling and picturesque countryside. The roads were quiet, and I passed through small villages and towns onto chalk downs put down to fields of swaying bright green barley, highlighted in the warm summer sun, under an azure sky.

 

My thoughts were that if Heaven existed - this is how it would be.

 

In that moment, I thought I’d better drink in my surroundings and so I stopped. Took off my shoes and took the photo that I captioned ‘Heaven’. I wanted that image burned into my mind so I would never need to look at it again - it would just be in my instant access memory bank. It’s an image that will live with me forever.

 

However, a moment doesn’t have to be visual - it can be a feeling. 

 

I remember being back at the Marathon des Sables in 2017; less than twelve months post Guillain-Barré Syndrome. I have no visual memory as things were still somewhat fuzzy of that time. I do recall though about how I felt at the top of Jebel Oftal, high above the plain listening to ‘Let in the Sun’ by Take That, thinking about just how fucking lucky I was to be there, following the toughest year of my life. I didn’t think Gary Barlow would ever bring me to tears, but the words spoke volumes to me.

 

Gary sings, ‘You've found yourself alone in a room. Total devastation. In the darkness, you must enter the code and crack the combination all on your own’… he continues to sing lines that even now make me want to cry. Like I said, ‘I’m fucking lucky’. Take a listen – it’s a great song. A moment of realisation.

You see, life is a series of moments, each fleeting and unique. 

 

If we're constantly distracted or preoccupied, we’re at risk of letting these moments slip by unnoticed. Whether it's a breath-taking landscape or a feeling you get in a special place, (you thought you’d never get to experience again), there are countless opportunities to savour the present.

 

It's about cherishing the present rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. If we embrace this mindset, we become more attuned to the richness of our experiences and the beauty of the world around us.

 

Ultimately, not missing the moment is about living with intention and awareness, and making the most of each precious moment we are given. It's about slowing down, tuning in, and appreciating the richness of life in all its complexity and beauty.

 

Think on. Live life. Enjoy moments that will last a lifetime.

1,179 Marathons - 276 Ultras - 9 GWR - 16 MDS - 1,000,000 Moments

New Life - Depeche Mode

Making the most of life is a daily pursuit for most. A quest for personal fulfilment, purpose, and joy, often accompanied by the desire to leave a fingerprint on the world and on humanity. It's about living intentionally and wanting to embrace each and every living moment with gratitude and enthusiasm.

Life comes with chances, both big and small. They’re out there waiting to be embraced. Whether it's pursuing a new career path, running in the desert, or simply trying a new hobby, each opportunity presents a gateway to growth and self-discovery. Seizing these moments expands our horizons, cultivates new experiences, and enriches our lives in ways we may never thought possible.

 

Experiencing these opportunities with other people is essential. 

 

Human connections provide support, companionship, and a sense of belonging. Investing time and energy into nurturing relationships with family, friends, and community members not only brings joy and fulfilment but also contributes to our overall well-being. Sharing experiences, lending a listening ear, and offering a helping hand are all ways to deepen connections and make the most of our social interactions, be it in person or online.

 

Furthermore, prioritising personal growth and development is key. Life is a journey of continuous learning and evolution. By challenging ourselves to step outside our comfort zones, acquire new skills, and pursuing our passions, we not only expand our knowledge but also unlock our full potential. Whether it's through formal education, self-study, or experimental learning, each opportunity for growth brings us closer to becoming the best versions of ourselves.

 

Practising gratitude and mindfulness fosters a deeper appreciation for life's blessings. Amidst life's challenges and uncertainties, taking time to reflect on the things we're grateful for cultivates a positive outlook and helps us find joy in the present moment. Mindfulness, the practice of being fully present and aware, allows us to savour life's experiences, connect with our inner selves, and cultivate a sense of peace and contentment.

 

Challenges and setbacks are inevitable, but it's our response to them that shapes our journey. By embracing resilience, we bounce back from adversity stronger and more resilient than before. Similarly, cultivating adaptability allows us to navigate change with grace and flexibility, embracing new opportunities and overcoming obstacles with resilience and determination.

 

Finding purpose and meaning gives life depth and significance. Whether it's through our careers, passions, or contributions to society, having a sense of purpose fuels our drive and motivates us to make a positive impact. Discovering what truly matters to us and aligning our actions with our values allows us to live authentically and leave a meaningful legacy that extends beyond our lifetime.

 

Nurturing a healthy work-life balance is essential for overall well-being. While pursuing our goals and ambitions is important, it's equally crucial to prioritise self-care, relaxation, and time spent with loved ones. By finding harmony between work, leisure, and personal time, we recharge our batteries, prevent burnout, and maintain a sense of equilibrium in our lives.

 

Remember, life is fleeting, and moments of joy, love, and connection are precious gifts to be savoured. By letting go of attachments to the past and worries about the future, we free ourselves to fully immerse in the present moment. The moment which is part of a multifaceted journey that requires resilience and a commitment to growth which leaves a legacy of love, joy, and fulfilment that can resonate for generations to come.

1,178 Marathons - 276 Ultras - 16 MDS - 9 GWR - 1 Life

Alcohol-Free - Twice

Deciding to give up alcohol is a significant and life-changing moment. It’s often sparked by health concerns, personal growth, or a desire for a sober lifestyle and it marks a turning point in one's journey towards wellness and self-discovery.

This moment may come from years of struggling with addiction or dependency. It might come following a rock-bottom experience - a moment of clarity when the consequences of continued alcohol abuse become too much of a problem to ignore. It could be a wake-up call from a concerned friend or family member, or a realisation that alcohol is interfering with their ability to lead a more ‘normal’ life. It happened to me back in 1994 and I call this my 'Point-Zero'.

 

Others may want to abstain recognising that their relationship with alcohol has become unhealthy or unsustainable. They may have noticed patterns of excessive drinking, experienced blackouts, or feel unable to control themselves after the first drink. Alternatively, they may simply feel that alcohol no longer aligns with their values, goals, or aspirations for the future.

 

Regardless of the circumstances, the moment to give up alcohol is often accompanied by a huge range of emotions. There may be feelings of fear and uncertainty about what lies ahead, as well as relief and liberation at the prospect of breaking free from booze treadmill. For many, there is a sense of empowerment in reclaiming control over their lives and making a conscious choice to prioritise their health and well-being.

 

In making the decision to give up alcohol, individuals may draw on a variety of sources of support and inspiration. This might include seeking guidance from healthcare professionals, attending support groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous, or finding solace in the stories of others who have successfully overcome their own struggles with alcohol. Additionally, some may find strength in their faith, spirituality, or personal convictions, using these as guiding principles on their journey toward sobriety. Going ‘Cold Turkey’ has a 20% success rate and reaching out dramatically raises the possibility of continued sobriety. Even then, some research lists the possibility of still being alcohol-free after 12 months at 29%.

 

The moment to give up alcohol often involves a period of reflection and self-examination, as individuals confront the underlying reasons for their drinking and explore healthier coping mechanisms. This process of introspection can be both challenging and transformative, requiring a willingness to confront difficult emotions and address unresolved issues. It may involve seeking therapy or counselling to address underlying trauma and mental health concerns. Avoiding other alcohol addicts and situations, that contribute to problematic drinking, is advised.

 

For many, the decision to give up alcohol is not made in isolation but involves the support and understanding of loved ones. Family members, friends, and partners can play a crucial role in providing encouragement, accountability, and reassurance during this time of transition. They may offer practical assistance, such as helping to remove alcohol from the home or providing a listening ear when cravings or temptations arise.

 

The journey toward sobriety is a bumpy road with many setbacks and obstacles along the way. Relapse is a common occurrence for many individuals in recovery, and it is important to approach it with compassion and understanding rather than judgment or shame. Each setback can be viewed as an opportunity for learning and growth, providing valuable insight into triggers, vulnerabilities, and areas for additional support.

 

As individuals progress on their journey toward sobriety, they may experience a profound transformation in their physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Freed from the burdens of alcohol dependency, they may discover a newfound sense of clarity, purpose, and vitality. They may find joy and fulfilment in activities and relationships that were previously overshadowed by alcohol, rediscovering hobbies, passions, and relationships that bring meaning to their lives.

 

It’s about embracing a new way of life - one that is guided by self-awareness, self-care, and self-compassion. It’s about cultivating resilience and inner strength, learning to navigate life's challenges without resorting to drink. It is about forging deeper connections with oneself and others, cultivating authentic relationships based on honesty, vulnerability, and mutual respect.

 

Ultimately, the moment to give up alcohol is a deeply personal and profound decision - one that holds the potential to transform not only individual lives but entire families, communities, and societies. It is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the capacity for growth and change. And it’s a reminder that, no matter how challenging life can be, the rewards of sobriety - health, happiness, and freedom - are well worth the effort.

 

All of which is great. But how does this work in reality? How did it work for me and how does it work and continue to work for those I coach? 

 

Luckily for me I’m one of the 20% that are still living the ‘Sobriety Dream’ some thirty years on and for the folk that I coach, maybe we have that common goal. I find ‘Tribism’ fascinating, and the digital ‘Tribe’ I’ve created over the past few years provides a safe and supportive virtual world for clients to feel part of. It’s amazing just how much support can come from a simple ‘WhatsApp’ group full of amazing people all try hardest to be the best version of themselves.

 

Currently, nearly all of them abstain. Most have had issues and are many years into a new life. They’ve moved on. They’ve found new ways of coping with the ups and downs of life. They are now achieving much better and greater things being alcohol-free.

 

You can too. Reaching ‘Point-Zero’ takes a lifetime yet becoming ‘alcohol-free’ takes but a moment. And if you are wanting to take the first step on the journey of a lifetime, please contact me and I’ll show you a world of achievement and of clarity.

 

Amen.

1,178 Marathons - 276 Ultras - 9 GWR - 16 MDS - 11,014 Days of Sobriety