Close to the Edge - Yes

'Summertime'...

A seasoned witch could call you from the depths of your disgrace... 

I wrote this blog back in 2018 but on reading it again, it’s still relevant and imho worth sharing again. Especially as the Summer has finally arrived, however brief, as it’s the perfect time to ‘up-ones-game’ and ‘upgrade-ones-future’. 

 

Sounds easy but for a lot of the folk I meet I’m very much a ‘Last-Chance-Hotel’ and my role is more about finding reverse before we drive on ahead. It’s kinda sad as most problem life issues are avoidable, and taking a fresh outlook on the world takes just a moment to change. 

 

I listened to the ‘Yes’ Prog-rock classic on one of my long car journeys. And it got me thinking about hard-working, decent, intelligent people that are living ‘Close to the Edge’ just to keep their heads above water.

 

I wonder just how many people in the UK are living ‘Close to the Edge’ right now? I bet it’s more than you and I think. For instance, the stats say 2.5 million children are living with 500,000 alcoholic parents and 300,000 people living on our rough on our streets tonight. I hardly need to mention the 1:12 people using illicit drugs or the 1:4 with mental health issues that swell the numbers. Our NHS is on its knees treating alcoholic and obese people.

 

The frightening thing is that some of the people I meet, and coach are part of those stats in one way or another. For that matter, I am and have been part of them too.

 

So why is ‘Life’ and for that matter ‘Living’ so bloody tough? 

 

And take away the plain in which we move

And choose the course you're running…

 

It’s hitting home everywhere right now. As far as I can see, the world is in a kind of ‘out-of-control-free-fall’ with some people holding on for dear life, whilst others are burning the path of no return as they walk headlong down the plank before jumping into the next personal disaster.

 

Down at the edge, round by the corner

Close to the edge, down by a river…

 

My observations and experience of ‘being’ Close to the Edge’ myself have saved a lot of other people from - well – themselves over the years. Being in a life-threatening tight spot doesn’t have to be as dramatic as you’d imagine, it can be unseen, right under your nose. Just look around, turn up the sensitivity on your radar and you’ll find you’re surrounded by a nation of people at breaking point.

 

Getting over all the Time I had to Worry

Leaving all the changes far from far behind…

 

Ah the ‘T’ and ‘W’ words. They’re the bane of modern-day life imho as Time is far too scarce and ‘Worrying’ isn’t far off being an Olympic Sport. 

 

Being ‘Close to the Edge’ back in 1972, when this song was written, lacked the intensity that we are ALL feeling in the 21^st Century. Let’s face it, the ‘Pace of Life’ has moved on so fast that most of us aren’t keeping up with it and our inability to constantly upgrade our personal operating systems is only breeding doubt and into our already fuddled minds. 

 

The eyes of honesty can achieve

How many millions do we deceive each day?

 

And so, we bumble on through ‘life’. Conning ourselves and each other that everything’s alright and that we are super-strong and super-tough living in a perfect online world, sharing our lives with anyone that will tune in and listen.

 

The truth is written all along the page

How old will I be before I come of age for you?

 

Over the years, I’ve become tuned into folk that are ‘Close to the Edge’.

 

I get up, I get down…

Finding the ‘Edge’, however brings pain relief and a path out of the depths of despair. I know - I’ve been right to the slimmest of possible ‘Edges’ imaginable. And life isn’t perfect and I’m not perfect, but it’s works for me and I’m happy where I am right now.Probably 90% up and 10% Down if I’m being honest, which isn’t bad – my question is, how ‘Close to the Edge’ are you?

1,186 Marathons - 277 Ultras - 9 GWR - 17 Marathon des Sables - 1 Life

Only you and I know - Phil Collins

Time to be honest and 'Rip Off your plasters'...

As a Coach, 'Ripping the plaster off' can sometimes come across as being insensitive and cruel, however when the way ahead is plain to see - acknowledging the truth and pruning away the excuses always proves to be the best approach and has the best long-term effects.

I asked AI and it says that 'Ripping the plaster off can be a metaphor for various aspects of life - confronting uncomfortable truths, facing challenges head-on, or making difficult decisions. It's about embracing discomfort for the sake of growth and progress. Just like the physical act of removing a plaster, it can be painful and unnerving, but often necessary for healing'. 

Well, AI has it there in a nutshell only it's not so easy these days to rip the plaster off in case you cause added distress and alarm at confronting those uncomfortable truths head-on for those that might not want to hear them. Personally, I'm always happy to know where I stand, and I know what I'm good at and also, what I'm not so good at. For instance, I know I'd be the world's worst 'Ironman' as the swim part is 2400m and not my personal PB of a mere 15m. I'm not going to be offended if you tell me to stick to dry land!

Phil Collins lyrics ' You know, we really only wanna hear the things we like to say' harnesses the act of plaster ripping perfectly.

Sure, my world's tough but it gets results. Failure isn't an option in my game and being realistic and honest with yourself, however painful that might be, will always deliver. Adding layers of plaster will only make things more sceptic and lead to future disappointment. 

If can be a positive process and ripping the plaster off is a powerful metaphor for courage, resilience, and the willingness to confront discomfort in pursuit of healing and growth. Whether it's in personal relationships, professional endeavours, or running Ultramarathons. The metaphor reminds us that sometimes the most difficult moments are also the most transformative and by embracing discomfort and facing challenges head-on, we can uncover our true strength and potential.

Amen.

1,186 Marathons - 277 Ultras - 17 Marathon des Sables - 9 Guinness World Records - One Life

Excuse Me - Sir Peter of Gabriel

Personally, I'm not big on excuses and the buck stops with no except yourself when things go wrong.

You see, making excuses is a common human behaviour. It stems from a desire to avoid responsibility or accountability for one's actions or lack thereof. Excuses can take many forms, from simple justifications to elaborate rationalisations, and they are often employed in various aspects of life, including work, relationships, and personal goals. 

 

While making excuses may provide temporary relief from guilt or discomfort, they can ultimately hinder personal growth and development. Understanding the psychology behind excuses, as well as strategies for overcoming them, is essential for fostering a mindset of accountability and self-improvement.

 

At its core, making excuses involves shifting blame or minimizing one's own role in a negative outcome. This can be driven by fear of failure, insecurity, or a desire to protect one's self-image. For example, someone who fails to meet a deadline at work might blame external factors such as a heavy workload or unexpected distractions, rather than acknowledging their own procrastination or poor time management skills. Similarly, a person who repeatedly cancels plans with friends might attribute their behaviour to a busy schedule or feeling under the weather, instead of admitting to a lack of interest or prioritisation.

 

Excuses can also serve as a defence mechanism against criticism or judgment from others. By providing a seemingly valid explanation for their behaviour, individuals hope to avoid scrutiny or negative consequences. This can be particularly common in competitive or high-pressure environments where success is highly valued, and failure is stigmatised. For example, athletes might attribute a poor performance to factors such as injuries or unfavourable conditions, rather than acknowledging their own shortcomings or mistakes. 

 

You know who you are...

 

However, while making excuses may offer temporary relief from guilt or discomfort, it ultimately prevents individuals from taking ownership of their actions and learning from their mistakes. By shifting blame onto external factors, individuals deny themselves the opportunity for introspection and growth. Instead of addressing the root causes of their behaviour and seeking solutions, they perpetuate a cycle of avoidance and stagnation.

 

Overcoming the habit of making excuses requires self-awareness, accountability, and a willingness to confront uncomfortable truths. One effective strategy is to cultivate a growth mindset, which emphasizes the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through effort and perseverance. By adopting this perspective, individuals are more likely to view setbacks as opportunities for learning and improvement, rather than insurmountable obstacles.

 

Additionally, practicing self-reflection and honest self-assessment can help individuals identify patterns of behaviour and thought that contribute to making excuses. This may involve asking oneself tough questions and challenging deeply ingrained beliefs or assumptions. For example, instead of automatically attributing failure to external factors, individuals can explore their own role in the outcome and consider what actions they could have taken differently.

 

Setting realistic goals and establishing a plan for achieving them can also reduce the likelihood of making excuses. When individuals have clear objectives and a concrete plan of action, they are less likely to succumb to procrastination or distraction. Breaking larger goals down into smaller, manageable tasks can make progress feel more achievable and reduce feelings of overwhelm or frustration.

 

Furthermore, seeking support from others can be invaluable in overcoming the habit of making excuses. Whether through friends, family, mentors, or professional coaches, having a support network can provide encouragement, accountability, and constructive feedback. By surrounding themselves with people who encourage growth and hold them accountable, individuals can stay motivated and focused on their goals.

 

Ultimately, overcoming the habit of making excuses requires a willingness to take responsibility for one's actions and choices. By acknowledging that they have the power to influence their own outcomes, individuals can break free from the cycle of avoidance and empower themselves to pursue their goals with determination and resilience. While making excuses may offer temporary relief, it is only through facing challenges head-on and embracing accountability that true personal growth and fulfilment can be achieved.

1,184 Marathons - 277 Ultras - 17 Marathon des Sables - 0 Excuses