I’m often asked how I made my leap of faith back in 1994, and when I think back, I’d say I made the poor state of my mental health my priority – I put myself first. It started 32 years ago today in fact when I stubbed out my last cigarette and decided to look after myself, as I felt no one else was going to do it for me.
And in a world that celebrates selflessness and sacrifice, the concept of putting yourself first carries a massive negative connotation. Words like ‘selfish’ or ‘self-centred’ tend to overshadow the importance of self-priority. However, putting yourself first is not an act of selfishness; it’s an essential practice for mental, emotional, and physical well-being. It’s a self-act of kindness.
When you prioritise your own needs, you’ll create a solid foundation for a happier, healthier life – it’s kinda simple. Putting yourself first is about self-respect. It means acknowledging your own worth and recognising that your needs, desires, and boundaries matter just as much if not more than anyone else’s.
Constantly putting others ahead of yourself can lead to burnout, resentment, and emotional exhaustion. By prioritising your own needs, you recharge your emotional reserves.
When you put yourself first, you learn to say ‘no’ to situations, to people, or to commitments. This allows you to focus your energy on what truly matters – namely YOURSELF.
Neglecting your own health in favour of others results in long-term consequences, such as stress-related illnesses and fatigue. Prioritising yourself encourages healthier habits, like eating well, exercising and achieving.
And when you put yourself first, you demonstrate the importance of self-care to those around you, especially children, friends, and loved ones. It sends a message that taking care of oneself is not only acceptable but a priority.
Yet despite its benefits, prioritising yourself can feel quite daunting and society often glorifies selflessness, particularly for women, parents, and caregivers. These roles are frequently associated with putting others’ needs before their own, creating feelings of guilt - it attracts criticism or disapproval you see. Friends, family, or colleagues might label you as selfish and uncaring.
Integrating self-priority into your life is entirely achievable. Understand that you are deserving of the same care and attention that you provide to others.
Learn to say ‘No’ without feeling guilty. Practice asserting your needs and communicate them clearly. For example, if a colleague frequently offloads work onto you, decline and explain your own workload and then say ‘No’.
Treat time for yourself as non-negotiable. Whether it’s 30 minutes of reading, a morning run, or simply time spent reflecting, dedicate this time to activities that help to recharge your batteries.
If you’re overwhelmed with responsibilities, delegate tasks where possible. Sharing the load not only eases your own burden but also encourages collaboration and mutual respect from others.
Making time for physical activity, balanced nutrition, and adequate sleep are the foundations of self-priority that often go neglected. If you struggle with guilt or fear of judgment, consider seeking guidance from a Coach (Like me). They can help you navigate emotional barriers and help develop coping strategies. It will reduce your stress, anxiety, and feelings of being overwhelmed and you’ll gain a sense of balance and control over your life.
If a friend consistently takes advantage of your kindness maybe it’s time to reset the boundaries and reevaluate your friendship. Putting yourself first is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. It’s about recognising that your well-being is the cornerstone of a more fulfilled life.
Lastly, the decision to put yourself first may feel uncomfortable at first, but with time and practice, it will become more natural and play an integral part in your life. Ultimately, self-priority is an act of self-love and a gift that will keep on giving.
So, go on, give a gift to yourself this Christmas, and make a New Year’s Resolution to put yourself first for once. It’s worth a try isn’t it?
1,204 Marathons - 284 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - 32 Years' - One Life
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