Lyric:- 'I'm searching for reasons to overcome the fear' - EMF - See for yourself here from 23 years ago! Yikes!
Song Choice:- This particular song hides a million demons for me and was released right in the middle of my paranoia. The moment where I looked in the mirror and was frightened, yep frightened at the person looking back at me.
It was downright scary!
Anyway, that 'fear' returned on listening whilst listening to this song earlier today. It's negative connotations are still there, all these years on, and for me and the feeling of being 'Lost' that I attached to it reared it's ugly head.Now, I haven't fallen into a black hole of self-loathing depression, but it's very easy to reattach yourself to a previous incarnation of your self and repeat the same process of personal undoing...if you're not careful.
Post 2 x ULTRA and 8 x Marathons in just 33 days, I could feel the weariness that I felt back in 1993 and I've spent all week feeling a bit 'lost' as my body and mind has been craving the endorphins and feeling of accomplishment that I've felt some 962 times.
Luckily for me, a spritely three miler picked up my spirit and I felt the belonging I'd been missing all week. I thought at one stage I'd have to go for a very long walk to regain my mojo but as it's something that would be best done with company or support, I discarded it as everyone has their own life to get onto and my sanity isn't their problem.
It doesn't matter though as I'm back in the room and firing on all cylinders...
Are you? Or are you searching for reasons to overcome your fears?
Rory Coleman
962 Marathons - 240 Ultras - 12 MdS - 9 Guinness World Records - 8072 Days' Dry
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