Most folk say they want to make the change but what holds them back is the fear of shame. However, everything we do is confidential, and that first step doesn’t have to be that frightening. It feels like jumping into the abyss and it’s no wonder people get scared. It can be very, very frightening to say the least. And if you are about to unlock Pandora's box then it's very easy to say to yourself, ‘Hmm, maybe I’ll do it tomorrow’.
If you're going to change your lifestyle, eject some friendships, take a different career path or choose a different relationship, it's like setting off a nuclear bomb, inside your head as are literally vaporising your existence and whatever you are known for, you might not be anymore.
Even if you're not happy with who you are, it requires a leap of faith to change it as you are going to change your identity and probably ditch the people you’ve surrounded yourself with, as they have the similar poor character traits to the ones you are trying to exclude.
It’s going to unsettle a lot of people because you are not going to be the same person that you were before. You're not going to be the drinker, the smoker, the hell-raiser as that identity is going to disappear.
Friends will try to entice you back into your old ways saying, ‘You’re no fun anymore or come on, one drink won’t hurt’. You're no longer their partner in crime. The friendship which was cemented by alcohol won’t exist any longer and the common ground you once shared will disappear as will the friendship.
I can remember the day I became a non-drinker so vividly.
Back then I would go to the pub every night after work. We were in the printing game at the time, and five o'clock had become the five o'clock club. I’d would walk in cigarette in hand and knock down the first of many pints of lager.
I’d stay for about two-and-a-half hours and then leave slightly the worse for wear. That was how it was for me back then and, of course that is how it still is for many people. But what happens is you start getting home later and later and then not going home to save the inevitable arguments.
The giant leap for ‘Rorykind’ step didn't happen overnight and without any planning. I didn't just decide on the 5th of January 1994, to start my new life, that process had actually taken about eighteen months.
It had taken eighteen months because I had to get my own act together before I could then come out and tell the world. I’d previously reached out to the Samaritans, which was the first step. I just phoned them in the middle of a Metallica set during the Freddie Mercury tribute concert on April 20th, 1992.
Watching the show, I felt out of control. I just thought, I've got to do something.'
That was the first step, my 'point zero' where things from then on could only get better.
By October '93, I was starting to ‘circle the drain’ again and by Christmas I knew that if I didn't do anything, I would soon reach the point of no return. Every day I was unhappy. Every day was an embarrassment. Every day I felt a bigger failure than the day before.
I entered a melancholic state of thought, 'Is this it, is this what life has in store? I was 31. I was unhappily married. I had three kids at that stage, I smoked too much and every day I woke up with a headache. It was like, 'What am I doing here?'
Every day you drink more to get to the same state of calm and happiness. For me that was as much as maybe 5-10 pints in a day. It was a lot of lager.
Thirty years ago, the world was a very different place. We didn't have people or places to reach out to for help. We didn't have social media to find others who'd survived the same predicament. We didn't have the celebrity endorsement of sobriety.
What we did have was a big bottle of man-up pills. All you needed to do was take a few and line up the next pint. And when you’ve had one pint, you may as well have another, and another, and another. Getting off that treadmill proved virtually impossible. I can identify with people who are in that situation and if they've reached out to me, they've already left the diving board and that’s the first step of their recovery.
They're free falling into a new phase of their life. A new life they’ll need to experience to see if it’s for them as sometimes people lose their identity as they simply don’t recognise the new person, they see now see in the mirror.
Let's say, for example, the person is no longer grossly overweight. They're no longer the gargantuan person with this larger-than-life personality that everybody liked. Suddenly, they feel part of their charisma has gone. Part of their personal 'Wow factor’ has disappeared and they are now blending in with everyone else.
There are plenty of comedians and singers who’ve done exactly that. They’ve dined out on careers of being a larger-than-life character and after losing their excess weight lose their routine and revert to type.
That's the thing, when you commit to change with me it is a rebirth, a complete rebirth. And it’s amazingly quick. It’s a case of your personality trying to keep up with your shrinking body. I endeavour to bring things into three-month cycle where in just 90 days we can bring about the most significant amount of change.
Remember the six weeks of the summer holidays we had back at school? It's a bit like that. Six weeks when you were a child seemed like an eternity, but for an adult it’s a month and a half – double it and there’s enough time to move a mountain.
Stick at it and before you know it, tweleve weeks has become six months. You can lose six stones in six months. As a percentage of your life, it’s nothing, a time where breakthroughs are a daily occurrence. Getting the boulder to move is the key and before you know it, it's rolling down the hill faster than Indiana Jones can escape.
I have taken people from twenty-three stones to thirteen stones and then to run the Marathon Des Sables in just 209 days. Taking someone grossly overweight to be fit enough to survive the world toughest foot race speaks volumes for getting into the right mindset.
My client was easy to re-program, as he wholeheartedly wanted to make the change. He was 100 per cent willing starting with a meagre 15,000 daily steps, building quickly to 25,000 and beyond.
If somebody is doing that, you know they mean business. He really wanted that change. He'd met a person I’d previously transformed and had thought 'Well, if you can do it with them, you can do it with me.'
Before working with me he'd become disenchanted with how he was spending his life, what he was doing to relax, what he was doing for entertainment and adventure. He went from a very sedentary life and decided that there was a world of fitness out there and that he wanted to be part of. A new tribe, which sounds a bit culty, but what I’ve created is a safe environment in which to change. It's very caring place and one in which to live the dream that I’m still living myself.
And the dream, of course, is to live a long, happy fruitful life. And for me, it's about achievement within that life. I wanted and still want to achieve. I wanted to make my mark on the world, a footprint on humanity.
If it's your own Wikipedia page that floats your boat, well that's fine. If you discover a cure for leprosy or even produce time travel, then that's also fine.
‘Endeavour to be remembered for something’, is what I say. In a lifetime, we waste time, and the fact is, I don't want to waste a moment.
People, me included, have wasted a lot of life. We do it through a combination of poor choices, bad luck and surrounding ourselves with the wrong people. One day you wake up in a bad dream and think, 'Hold on a minute, what’s going on and why am I doing what I’m doing?’
I've witnessed it with clients. I've stood people on the scales and have said, 'Congratulations, you're 25 stones.' And they go, 'Oh, I thought it was about 20 – but 25? Really?' People just don't realise their predicament. They say, ‘I knew it would be bad, but not that bad’.
Waking up in the cold light of day makes for a real moment of realisation and a great opportunity to reach out for help.
What makes me different from other people offering help and advice out there is the method and the promise. I try and treat the whole mind and body. It's a universal approach to health and fitness.
We try to look at every aspect of life to get them all in balance, so that the thing that you’re keen on pursuing and pushing towards has a firm foundation. We endeavour to fix home, work, relationships, children, money, debt: the list is endless. Knowing those details gives me an idea about what's going on. From there we make a fully tailored programme. We're talking about life here. We're talking about the future. We're talking about the big picture.
If we're going to fix that, we’ll need to fix everything.
When I work with a client, I’ll make a lot of suggestions. A lot of what I do is opening people's minds up to possibilities of things they’d never previously considered. I'm not some kind of drill sergeant. I'm not ‘The Terminator’. I can't force change or make you go to the gym. Even if you do 90 per cent of what we plan, you'll still succeed. I like to be seen to be supportive but fair.
But that doesn't mean I’m weak, and I don't suffer fools gladly. I am critical but being critical doesn't have to be a negative thing either. This is about being honest.
I'm not a big 'Well done!' person because if you are 130 kilos and you've lost 50 kilos, do you need me to say, 'Well done?' It's obvious that you've moved a mountain. I've entered your world. We've got rid of the fat but hopefully and more importantly we've identified why you gained the weight in the first place.
We've stopped the behavioural trait that’s overshadowed so much of the past and now we can build a brighter future. And when the process eventually comes to an end and it’s time to fly, I’ll be there cheering you on.
But first, there's a weaning off period where we’re no longer holding hands. When I’ve worked with people throughout out their journey, hopefully we’ve discovered the answer to future happiness. It’s the right solution. Onwards, it feels like their making their own plans. And if they pursue it, in the belief of its of their own doing, they're more likely to follow it.
When you jump into this new world, you’ll need some idea of where you're going. There’s a vision of where this journey will take you but actually where you’ll end up is often completely different. The route takes lots of twists and turns and lots of detours but that's part of the fun.
It happens every time. I can't think of anybody that has just said, 'I'm here now, I want to be there tomorrow,' and everything then followed the script. People develop, the process develops.
I said to someone the other day that they would make a great teacher. Kids would love them. And they replied, 'Well, yeah, I do like kids.' I said I thought they they'd be just perfect for teaching – why not go and investigate it?
I believe it’s their vocation in life and could be the adventure that they've been looking for in life. People never think they're extraordinary. They never think that they can become an extraordinary person.
It's all about taking that first step.
1,164 Marathons - 273 Ultras - 16 MDS - 1 Life
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