Lost - Coldplay

As a child, I often felt like I was on the outside looking in - I saw how other people seemed to find their place in life whilst, I was left wondering where mine was. I never did quite fit in. I spent my years at secondary school trying to keep up academically. I tried, but it was never enough – I was told I was ‘thick’. I should have asked for, or have been offered help, but then this was the 70s and that just didn’t happen back then.

I now realise that I wasn’t thick or lost because there was something wrong with me - I was just trying to fit into a world that was simply not right for me.

 

Growing older didn’t suddenly make everything any easier, but it gave me something I never had as a child - perspective. Slowly, I began to understand that my differences weren’t flaws to fix, they were parts of me that deserved to be nurtured. 

 

Finding my direction happened in one dramatic moment. It brought me closer to the life I wanted, instead of the life I thought I was supposed to have. I’ve learned to trust my instincts, stop comparing my journey to everyone else’s, and to accept that there is no deadline for finding your purpose in this world.

 

Today, I can look back at that younger version of myself with compassion rather than sadness. I wish I could tell that child that they didn’t need to spend so much time trying so hard to be someone they never could be. 

 

The years I spent feeling lost have taught me resilience. They’ve taught me empathy for anyone who has ever questioned where they fit in. Most importantly, they’ve taught me that belonging doesn’t come from changing yourself to meet other people’s expectations. 

 

It comes from having the courage to become the person you were always meant to be.

 

Sure, my journey hasn’t been perfect, and I still have moments where I question myself. But I no longer see these moments as failures. They are reminders of how far I’ve come. The child who once felt stupid has grown into someone who understands that purpose isn’t found by fitting in, it’s found by being yourself.

 

And funnily enough my secondary school, where I was considered ‘thick’, has just asked me once again to speak to their Sixth Form and say that it’s okay not to know where life might take you, but that it’s more important to be the best version of yourself and follow one’s interests and dreams 100%.

 

Amen.

 

1,244 Marathons – 292 Ultras – 19 MDS – 10 GWR – 1 Life