Doctor, Doctor - UFO

Lyric:- 'Doctor doctor, please oh, the mess I'm in' - Schenker and Mogg.

Well, it's been one of those days, and just as I thought things had reached an all-time low, they took a major downward turn for the worse and I literally ended up to my elbows to in the brown stuff.

And before you're worried that the Guillain Barre Syndrome (GBS) I've been diagnosed with, is finishing me off, well it isn’t so that’s ok. It's felt close on a couple of occasions today that I’d admit to, I However,  having a very rare strain of the Syndrome (Well I would do wouldn’t I),  and having to use an unprecedented amount of Codeine to combat the extreme pain, discomfort and the side effects caused the biggest log jam ever in the 'Coleman Pipelines' you could imagine. It soon became 'Brown Monday’.

Add to the scenario, a massive dose of 'Triglycerin Gunpowder based Laxative’ taken orally at lunchtime, (to really get things going', the Pharmacist advised) and I had all the ingredients for what was a going to be a huge 'Atomic Explosion’ in my underpants later on if I wasn’t careful.

Well, it arrived on time but sadly a bit unannounced. At a time when good forward toilet planning is essential, I managed only 1 of the 50 metres required to get me to the safety of the disabled toilet in the hospital ward reception area. Sadly for me a 49 metre embarrassed poo stained crawl on all-fours passing the nurse's station looking dreadfully soggy, for added embarrassment factor didn’t do my street cred ant favours.

Is the blog low enough yet?

No? Oh OK, I’ll carry on then. As it's been the pure amount of the Codeine Concrete in my lower bowel that got stuck, literally solidly stuck half in, half out and with me pushing as hard as I could without any power at all in my stomach Muscles to shift anything and now folk are banging on he door asking if I'm alright so in desperation and I say in desperation, I slipped on a surgical hand glove and just poked around up there and started digging out the offending hardcore.

Still not low enough? 

Well, the bloody glove only went and split meaning everything then leaked into the palm of my hand. Just Perfect eh? But in a way it was, stood leaning against a Zimmer Frame, soiled pants round my ankles, with little chance of making it anywhere without further eruptions, you see life in a different way.And we all have different needs..

My need right now is to be able to walk as I can’t right now and it’s really fucking ready scary…Let's hope we are not in as much shit as tomorrow eh?

Until then…
Rory Coleman

976 Marathons, 241 Ultras, 9 Guinness World Records, 13 Marathon des Sables, 8160 Days' Champagne Dry

The Big Money - Rush

Lyric:-'Sometimes pushing people around, sometimes pulling out the rug, sometimes pushing all the buttons, sometimes pulling out the plug. It's the power and the glory, it's a war in paradise, it's a Cinderella story, on a tumble of the dice - Peart

Song Choice:- Well, on a day where I've had a further 500ml of genetically created drugs, I can say that I'm feeling a lot better already, even though I can't walk one step unaided. In fact, I'm the only person whom crashed a Zimmer Frame today at less than 1mph whilst reversing myself gingerly onto a toilet with a catastrophic death dive that only a  sixties spaghetti western could have engineered.

All of course in super-slow motion...

Anyway, it's been a day of hope and of realisation that people out there are really routing for me to get better and I've had so many good luck messages it's been overwhelming.

That helped me no end escape a bit of a black hole I was quickly being sucked into as without the mobility that I'm used to and the feeling of freedom that running gives me, life would be extremely testing for both me and those around me for sure. I'm not a good patient but I'm patiently trying to become one.

I'm very grateful and I really mean that to all the medical experts I've encountered so far at the University Hospital of Wales down here in Llandough and Cardiff. Folk moan about the NHS but the staff work their butts off to deliver some amazing care whilst other colleagues teach and research into illnesses such as the Guillain-Barre Syndrome I'm fighting off, right now with their help.

The wonder-drug/medicine I'm now taking is well over £2000 per litre (I know 'cos I Googled it) and during the week ahead I'll be consuming 2.5 litres of it just to get started on my way back to being somewhere near normal again. Funnily enough it's the price of a bottle of Dom Perignon, in a 1962 vintage just like my good self. Hopefully mine will make a better return on the investment when all the Champagne Bubbles have long gone.

Well, let's see what tomorrow brings eh? 

Here's to continued good health for all...

Rory Coleman

976 Marathons, 241 Ultras, 9 Guinness World Records, 13 Marathon des Sables, 8159 Days' Champagne Dry

Synchronicity 2 - The Police

Lyric:- 'The pain upstairs that makes his eyeballs ache.' - Summer

Song Choice:- I wanted to use 'King of Pain' for today's blog but I think I prefer the constant level of attack in the music and lyrics of Synchronicity 2 and the line 'The pain upstairs that makes his eyeballs ache', reflects exactly how I feel right now. It's such a shame The Police as Band Members fell out,as they were particularly good and very cool back in the early 80's before the more wailing  and self-indulgent Sting Solo nonsense took over IMO.

Anyway, today has been a day of getting used to the fact life will be very different both at home and at work for the next couple of months at least, whilst my immune system rebuilds the anti-bodies which are currently being destroyed by the Guillain-Barré Syndrome (GBS), which has been battering my body for the past month or so.

To have completed a Marathon des Sables in that condition is testament to the fitness that I've obviously built up over the past 22 years or it was just plain stupidity. It's probably the latter but then again how do you know these things at the time - if you are like me, you just battle on even harder in those situations, the 'Go Hard, or Go Home' and 'Toughen up Buttercup' sayings I say so often are just a couple mantras that go thorough ones head when the shit hit's the proverbial fan.

For a Syndrome that affects about 1,200 cases a year in the UK, it's amazing how many of my friends have messaged me to say that they know someone that has been through the whole GBS process with varying degrees of results ranging from a 'long, grim and painful death' to a 'full and speedy 100% recovery'. Somewhere nearer the end of the full and 100% recovery end of Spectrum would be very nice indeed,

It's fuel for thought and it's always good to know all of the outcome possibilities I suppose. It's the overcoming the unknown that I'm working on right now. Following feeling very sorry for myself in the early hours and crawling to the nurses station for some help, it's the sheer amount of pain that GBS produces in your nerve endings that is the real challenge

It's like a cocktail of the muscular pain you get at the end of the Grand Union Canal Race, crossed with breaking a leg, with a bit of Road Traffic Accident thrown in for discomfort and a very angry Jack Bauer from 24 having a go at your undercarriage with and angle-grinder.

Yep, it's all been a bit painful.

But what is pain? Don't give me that 'Pain is Weakness leaving the Body Rubbish', because that's not real pain. You can put a stop to that pain easily by stopping. This pain, you can't, there's no end product, there's no end date in sight it's just you, versus how much you can disassociate yourself with your current predicament and it's associated discomfort. I'm just starting my hours of darkness where the pain upstairs, makes your eyeballs ache,

More tomorrow...I hope.

Rory Coleman

976 Marathons, 241 Ultras, 9 Guinness World Records, 13 Marathon des Sables

Shut Your Eyes - Snow Patrol

Lyric:- 'And when the worrying starts to hurt, and the world feels like graves of dirt. Just close your eyes until, you can imagine this place, yeah, our secret space at will - Lightbody, Connolly, Simpson, Wilson & Quinn

Song Choice:- If I close my eyes maybe my current predicament will simply vanish and the last month will have just been a simple nightmare. Sadly for me, I believe the real nightmare is just beginning, you see since returning from this year's Marathon des Sables, my mobility, sleep and even smile have been compromised. It's left me in a right pickle to say the least unable to walk unaided and yesterday, I was admitted into University Hospital Llandough, near Cardiff, as I have Guillain-Barre Syndrome and I'm off to the Heath University Hospital Cardiff now to start the treatment.

WTF? Exactly as I'd never heard of it either and depending on which part of the internet you read it ranges from very kinda serious to very kinda life threatening and rather than me list all my symptoms, I've copied this from Wikipedia as it lists all of mine quite nicely.

Guillain–Barré syndrome (GBS) is a rapid-onset muscle weakness caused by the immune systemdamaging the peripheral nervous system. Many experience changes in sensation or develop pain, followed by muscle weakness beginning in the feet and hands. The symptoms develop over half a day to two weeks. During the acute phase, the disorder can be life-threatening with about a quarter developing weakness of the breathing muscles and requiring mechanical ventilation. Some are affected by changes in the function of the autonomic nervous system, which can lead to dangerous abnormalities in heart rate and blood pressure.

This autoimmune disease is caused by the body's immune system mistakenly attacking the peripheral nerves and damaging their myelin insulation. Sometimes this immune dysfunction is triggered by an infection. The diagnosis is usually made based on the signs and symptoms, through the exclusion of alternative causes, and supported by tests such as nerve conduction studies and examination of the cerebrospinal fluid. Various classifications exist, depending on the areas of weakness, results of nerve conduction studies, and the presence of antiganglioside antibodies. It is classified as an acute polyneuropathy.

In those with severe weakness, prompt treatment with intravenous immunoglobulins or plasmapheresis, together with supportive care, will lead to good recovery in the majority. Some may experience ongoing difficulty with walking, painful symptoms, and some require long-term breathing support. Guillain–Barré syndrome is rare, at one to two cases per 100,000 people every year.

Now what the heck does all this mean, well who knows. I must thank my Doctor Brother and Doctor Ganderton at my own local surgery whom spotted all the tell-tale signs otherwise it would have been a whole lot worse by now as GBS is Rapid and needs a lot of management to beat it's complications.

My job now, is come to terms with just functioning for the next few days/weeks/months and try to be a good patient and make a recovery. The care I've received so far can only go to help as it's well beyond the call of duty. It's my aim to be walking as much as I can whilst I'm in here to keep myself mobile and keep this nightmare killer at bay.

Well that's the plan anyway...more later.

Rory Coleman

976 Marathons, 241 Ultras, 9 Guinness World Records, 13 Marathon des Sables and 1 Sick Bugger

Life of Riley - The Lightning Seeds

Lyric:- 'I don't mind, I get the feeling you'll be fine, I still believe that in this World, we've got to find the time for the Life of Riley - 'Brodie'.

Song Choice:- Well, The Lightning Seeds have cropped up a couple of times this week on my MP4 player, which isn't' bad coming from a band that time seems simply to have forgotten. Don't get me wrong I've forgotten then them too; yet, on hearing them once again the track quickly re-lit my 'Lightning Seeds Fire' and here I am writing about 'The Life of Riley' and what it means.

Here's the Wiki definition, for starters:- 

The Life of Riley

noun, Informal.

1. A carefree, comfortable, and thoroughly enjoyable way of living. 

Sounds good doesn't it? Which we all do to one degree or another. Yet we waste a lot of time taking the longest possible route to t's success often using the very long A to Z route rather than the quicker and much easier A to B option.

Why is that? As we make things so bloody hard sometimes...

Maybe it goes back to our education processes, beaten into us as teenagers, where in maths a simple equation needed the working out shown alongside the answer and with your history homework, you had to list the books you'd copied slabs of text from. That all seemed bonkers to me and that part of Grammar School Education sadly passed me by. 

Hopefully for my fellow classmates whom did manage to QED and deliver their history references are now 'Living Riley's Life', but I bet they're not as success isn't made from showing a few sums and listing a few books at the end of an essay.

Success comes from 'Pure Hard Work', Opportunism, Self-Belief and Overcoming the Hard Knocks that Life brings folk on a regular daily basis. 

Conquering that Everest and the Riley-Life is all yours...

A Carefree, comfortable, and thoroughly enjoyable way of living...and a Noun; what could be better eh?

QED

Rory Coleman - 976 Marathons - 241 Ultras

13 Marathon des Sables - 9 Guinness World Records - 8156 Days' Alcohol Free.

New Religion - Duran Duran

Lyric:- 'I get along fine with these friends of mine, but you have to make a choice' - Le Bon

Song Choice:- It's a great Duran Duran track and the 'New Religion' title fits in nicely with my recent blog themes of taking a new life direction and starting to follow new dreams and aspirations.

For some, following a regimented trading programme, feels like being part of a 'New Religion'. Some new 'Rules' to live by never hurts anyone IMO,  and I see an overwhelming calmness come over people. Even better than that, the further they go into the training, that's where the when the training investment really starts pay off and it's the part of my job I love the most and it's a part of my life that I'm very proud of.

I think there's a lot of mileage in this 'Fitness Ministry of Mine' and the 'New Religion' that it's creating for the people I coach. Exercise should play a vital part in everyone's daily routine and looking at the present day global stats on obesity and heart disease, let's hope that the extremely frightening projected ones for 2020 somehow don't ever get a chance  to materialise. 

Running and Running well is about how it makes you feel. It's a very simple thing to do too. Running long distances has a place in our society and therapeutically could relate

You never know and how religious are you about your running?

Amen.

Rory Coleman - 976 Marathons - 241 Ultras

13 Marathon des Sables - 9 Guinness World Records - 8153 Days' Alcohol Free.

Rory Coleman - The UK's Leading ULTRAmarathon Coach

Location:Cardiff

A head full of Dreams - Coldplay

Lyric:- 'A head full of Dreams, you can see the change you want to, be what you want to be' - Martin

Song Choice:- I really like this Coldplay, U2 Homage and the lyrics speak volumes about the changes I see in folk that take place during their training with me. You see it highlights the Dream part of the process of change as without that Dream, change just doesn't happen.

When I meet people I always ask then what their vision is of where they you want to go, or what they want to do. You'd be amazed at the proportion of folk that are only focussing on a particular short-term goal of a race event that might only represents a couple of hours of their future life. In my opinion, a  clearer, bigger picture of a Dream of the Future way of life would deliver much more than the race event and open up further possibilities of what folk would actually be capable of.

I love the 1962 'Dream' quote of American President John F Kennedy in the famous 'We choose to go to the moon' speech. He said, 'We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organise and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win'...

It's a paints a fabulous picture and they are such great words. Failure just wasn't an option.

However, without NASA and the Great American Dream of the 60's on your side, how do you make the same commitment to achieving your Dream 'right now?

Have you even got a Dream? If you haven't, maybe you should have a good think about what you want out of your time on this planet. The answer might be absolutely unrealistic right now, but don't let it stop you believing that one day, you will be able realise the unrealistic and unachievable. 

Lastly be careful whom you share your Dream with, as the vampires and non-believers will always try and devalue and deflate any head of steam you can build up.

Dream on - Please - You never know, it might just come true!

Rory Coleman - 976 Marathons - 241 Ultras

13 Marathon des Sables - 9 Guinness World Records - 8152 Days' Alcohol Free.

Location:Cardiff