Changes - David Bowie

You can’t change yesterday but you can change tomorrow....

People live life looking in the rear-view mirror. It’s not about what’s gone. It’s about the future. Your future. In January 1994, as part of a New Year’s Resolution, I decided to make a life-changing decision that reshaped my future by writing down some fresh life-rules on one side of an A4 sheet of paper. It was as simple as that.

 

I wrote the things down I didn’t want to do anymore. I didn’t want to drink, I didn’t want to smoke, I didn’t want to eat an unhealthily diet. I didn’t want to waste my time. That was the big challenge. You see, I was wasting my time and therefore I felt I was wasting my life.

 

Then, I considered the things that the ‘new’ Rory Coleman was going to do. A very exciting moment, where I thought, ‘I can be anything and anyone I want to be. Firstly, I’m going to get really fit and get in shape. At 95 kilos, (about 15 stones) the scales underlined just how out of condition I’d become.

 

In a state of personal disgust, I decided I needed to go for a run to lose weight. And from my front door on a very cold and very wet January evening in 1994 in my jeans, winter jacket and leather work shoes (as I didn’t possess any running gear), I ran for my life. There was no Internet to research on how to run so I just thought I’ll simply run. And after only 100 steps I passed out on the pavement. However, I wasn’t disheartened - I felt ecstatic as I’d found my thing. The framework I’d build the rest of my life around.

There's a new you waiting for you in 2022. 

And this is an extract from my next book, 'The Coleman Mindset'. If I've worked with you this year, I hope that together we have changed your world and I thank you. If you are thinking of reaching out to me, please do as I'm here 24/7 to help you get through the festive period in one piece ready to reshape your future next year.

Nadolig Llanwen.

Rory x

1,118 Marathons - 261 Ultras - 15 MdS - 9 Guinness World Records - 10,211 Days' Sober

How to Survive Christmas EXCESS...

How to avoid food or alcohol during the festive period – (or any other time of the year for that matter).

Best is to start evaluating your current predicament:-

 

Food-wise

Are you wanting to lose weight but have yet to start?

Are you trying to lose weight?

Are you trying to lose weight and finding it easy?

Are you trying to lose weight and finding it hard?

And when you break your diet, there’s no stopping you?

 

Alcohol-wise

Do you need to stop drinking alcohol but have yet to start?

Are you trying to stop drinking alcohol?

Are you trying to stop drinking alcohol and finding it easy?

Are you trying to stop drinking alcohol and finding it hard?

And when you do drink alcohol, there’s no stopping you?

 

Hopefully, you’ve made an honest appraisal and with that in mind, here are some avoidance techniques that might help this Christmas and beyond...

 

Scenario

You are out to a restaurant with friends for a celebration meal. There will be three courses – wine will flow, liqueurs will follow, and the group will share getting drunk together. In previous gatherings, you’ve been the life and soul of the party and your antics were legendary. As someone that never lets an opportunity to over-indulge it feels easier to go with the flow and revert to type. You could of course:-

 

Avoid

Simply don’t go. A 100% effective way of keeping on track. Okay, it’s totally antisocial but in the early stages of addiction correction it’s the best way of abstaining both from food and alcohol. You might find that your friendship group might not be your friends at all and are more alcohol enablers - as you enable them just as much as they enable you to get drunk. If you continue with your sobriety, some friends might become less frequent fliers and disappear. Quoting a busy diary, anti-biotics or even using Covid as an excuse are all great ways of avoiding a relapse even if you are desperate not to miss out on the party of the year.

 

Plan

You’ll probably know where you’ll be dining out in advance. Foodwise, Google the menu. If the food doesn’t match your needs, remember any great chef can prepare an omelette and a house salad minus the high-calorie dressing. Your meal minus dressing and not swimming in booze, will taste a lot fresher. Determine which alcohol-free Spirits, Wine or Beer they provide. As these are gaining popularity and taste very similar to the real thing most restaurants now have these and on offer. There’s nothing wrong with ordering a Tea with your main course! Remember you are the customer, and the restaurant is wanting to give you a positive dining experience especially during these times.

 

Problem

This is the hardest avoidance technique. And best taken on in a one-on-one conversation (preferably ahead of the date) where you state that you won’t be drinking as it’s a problem. It’s a tricky conversation as you might feel that your normal confident self is now being scrutinised and you are now seen as having a major character flaw or weakness. Exposing the ‘Problem’ is more a sign of ‘Strength’ where you might find that your ‘Problem’ isn’t the hot news you imagine. True friends will offer to help in any way possible and might be relieved that you have recognised the issue and are tsking action.

 

Limit

As well as limiting your alcohol and food consumption it’s good to limit the amount of conversation that might be generated by someone considered as a ‘party animal’ becoming ‘holier than though’. To limit the time spent dissecting your new behavioural trait, change the subject and change it again if needed. It will reduce the pressure you will already be feeling in this tricky situation where your own introspection is finally exposed in the public domain.

 

Exit

And if it feels like it might go wrong or the situation is going to get out of hand, make a sharp exit. In the planning stage you might have outlined a timeframe so stick to – so watch the clock Cinderella and get other significant others to do so too. Driving to the restaurant or to a friend’s house will also help. Taxiing others home can also add to the satisfaction of succeeding what could be a difficult evening.

 

They say, ‘An apple a day keeps the doctor away’. In this case our ‘APPLE’ might keep you in track over the Christmas period and springboard you into 2022 feeling fitter, heathier, and ready for whatever the New Year has in store. And if you feel like you are struggling or will struggle then I’m here to help – just reach out. I know how hard this time of year can be as I’ve conquered 27 years of Dry Christmases’ and will do again this December, remember, Anything is Possible.

Rory Coleman - 1,117 Marathons - 27 Years' Dry

Helping people every day 'Live the Dream'...

Alcohol - Friend or Foe?

No one sets out to be a problem drinker or even an alcoholic, it just kinda happens. I know – it happened to me. It’s also happened to a lot of people over the past 12-18 months, as folk found themselves trapped at home. Some people found themselves trapped with their nearest and dearest that they might normally avoid, by going to the office.  But the office then became working from home and the daily attire slipped from a ’Suit to PJs’ and a ‘Starbucks became Prosecco’.

Booze became a friend in a crisis and dependency just crept in when least expected, catching even the most normally sensible of people off guard. The result – a newly found alcohol addiction. So, what are you going to do about your little or not so little problem? Be the daily drinker that you thought you’d never be? Or someone that can go back to the occasional drink or blow out and enjoy a glass of wine to relax, without emptying the rest of the bottle?

 

With November upon us, maybe it’s time to question your relationship with alcohol? Can you live a week or a day or even the next hour without a drink? During November could abstain for a whole month? 

 

Yes – No – Maybe? Do you want to but need help?

 

How to stop? Well, there are plenty of options available out there but how many of them prevent relapse? Not many if the stats are correct. For some time now I’ve been working discreetly with people that are now well into over 1000+ days of sobriety, even throughout lockdown. How does it work? I’ll put that down to the one-to-one accountability and support that’s provided. It’s not AA, it’s not a self-help Facebook Group – it’s more than that. It’s a life-laundry, a period of self-realisation, a personal system upgrade that delivers a brighter future and best of all, it works…

 

If you’d like to know more about how I can help you, please drop me an email to rory@colemancoaching.co.uk .

1,113 Marathons, 260 ULTRAs, 15 Marathon des Sables & 10,162 Days Dry

Re-enter Sandman - Metallica

It takes time for things to return to some level of normality when you’ve been out there in the desert. I’ve had time to process what happened and I’ve had time to reflect. This isn’t a race report of the 250km ULTRA-X Jordan and its relentless less soft pink and orange sand, extreme scenery and star-filled skies. It’s more of a look into my mental-state and my mindset that surrounded undertaking what is, without question, a super-tough life-event.

You’d think with thirty-four marathons in the tank this year, (five of which were in the ‘Jordananesque’ sand in Merthyr Mawr) I’d be super-prepped for an average of 50km per day in terrain not too dissimilar to that of the dunes of South Wales. Thing is, you can arrive, be as fresh as a daisy, be running marathon PBs and feeling your fittest ever only to be caught out by not being mentally ready to adapt to the environment and moment in which you find might yourself.

I’ll be honest and say I ran on experience and faith that my previous nineteen desert races would get me through. A vital part of race preparation are the months leading up to the event where there’s time to build fitness, confidence, and belief. My late entry gave me only thirty days to research the race and gather the essential kit together. Something I certainly wouldn’t recommend to any of my clients – but then again, I was racing on experience wasn’t I – something you can’t pack and something you can’t buy I always say. I mean, what could go wrong?

Trying to understand the PCR UK escape rules and jump through the hoops of foreign travel blew my brains and only added to the headache of avoiding Coleman-Covid at home. wasn’t good. Being told just prior to departure that I was profoundly deaf in my left ear by my GP was the icing on the cake and I’ll be honest, it filled me with panic – deafness is one of my real phobias. And if I’m honest I’d worked myself into a bit of a black hole, especially as my claustrophobic brain took over as the plane jetted down the runway at Heathrow. I’d have quite happily gotten off the plane right there and then, written the race off as a bad experience and gone into hiding in darkest Cardiff in a blink, but how embarrassing would that be?

Only that’s not what I’m about is it? I spend my life telling people not to give in and never quit. I do whatever I can to help folk succeed – making sure folk to stick at it and beat their inner demons. So, wtf was I doing? By now I had Tourette’s with plenty of effing and jeffing - The cabin-crew were amazing, offered me their finest Jordanian wine (sadly no use to me) and let me prowl around the plane for five hours walking a very slow 2500 steps up and down the aisles. My claustrophobic world had suffocated me. And to follow, a race hotel where the window didn’t open and a long coach-ride out into the desert where I really struggled to catch my breath. It made me feel very vulnerable.

 

All I could do was run… and make the most of the opportunity to be away from it all.

 

And as the race started to unfold, I came up for air. It didn’t have the comfort and familiarity of the Desert Cup or Marathon des Sables for reference. The race was different, it was an unknown and had unknowingly caught me out – only in reality I’d caught myself out and it took until the 72km day long third day to get ‘it’ and I started to feel less out of my depth. Sure, my desert race-craft had gotten me through but instead of being last but one to CP1 on day one, I started to pick off runners less than half my age, which is always good for the ego and finishing days further up the list – towards the end of the week I started to really enjoy the whole experience.

 

More so when ‘Arthur the Osteopath’ cracked my neck and cleared my Labyrinthitis and suddenly I could hear again…

 

I enjoyed it so much that I’ve signed up for 2022 but this time I’ll be taking some of my previous clients and friends with me to enjoy the whole ULTRA-X Jordan experience with me. Hopefully, I’ll have some time to myself where I can process my inner thoughts, conquer more demons, and return wiser from another week in the Jordanian Sand under the stars.

 

Sometimes it’s good to be challenged, feel out of your depth and be frightened. It’s even better when you win! 

 
Amen

1,111 Marathons, 260 Ultras, 15 Marathon des Sables, 3 Desert Cup & 1 ULTRA-X Jordan

Time Was - Wishbone Ash

Jordan 1999

OMG, becoming 60 (date for your diary,6th Feb 2022) is arriving faster than an out-of-control express train and in preparation I’m off to Jordan to race at ULTRA X(a 250km five day, five stage race) in anticipation and celebration endeavouring to recapture the youth of life gone by. Well, life twenty-one years ago if I’m being honest when as a mere 39 year-old sapling I ran the 100 mile non-stop Desert Cup that followed some of the same route I will undertake next week.

You see the ‘time’ thing has been bugging me and hit home whilst listening to ‘Time Was’, a great track by Wishbone Ash. Their 1972 Argus Album was one of only four LPs that my best friend’s sister owned in 1973 - the others being Dark Side, Tubular Bells and In Search of Space. The albums reflect a moment in time What was she on? Anyway, best part of half a century later and I’m still listening to them with pure love and will enjoy them being part of my Jordanian Desert Experience. This music has literally accompanied my life.

 

And when I listen closely to the lyrics of Time Was , I realise that I've lived and rearranged my life plus changed my world many times over and survived when there were things to be afraid of. It’s a great song and well worth a listen!

 

As for the next chapter in my world - I’ll continue to share my findings, trials and tribulations in a fresh set of blogs and a new book that will try and encapsulate some of my own experiences but also the learning that’s accompanied both the lighter and darker sides of trying to live the dream, achieve a purpose and pass that on to others.

At the start of my life journey all those years ago, I would never have imagined just how important that first step to my personal freedom would be for me and those that now choose to journey with me. A journey towards a more fulfilling and rewarding existence perhaps. I wonder what the young Rory would think of listening to these four albums on Spotify in Studio Master quality instead the scratchy vinyl played on a dodgy Garrard SP25 Mk4. Totally mind-blowing...

Time Was…Amen.

1,107 Marathons, 257 Ultras, 9 Guinness World Records & 15 Marathon des Sables

Lose Yourself - Eminem

If you had one shot or one opportunity to seize everything you’ve ever wanted in a moment, would you capture it or just let it slip?

If you are risk adverse, don’t like taking chances and would never gamble – you probably would let it slip. Living without ever leaping through sliding doors, following one’s instinct or plainly grabbing the moment can leads to a very ordinary existence. And if ordinary suits you then that’s great…

 

However, for some folk, every day is a gamble. A permanent game of chance where living life on the edge is normality and where adrenalin is the driver in the need for succeed.

 

It goes without saying that it’s always best to have a balanced approach to living but what happens if you are someone that knowingly needs to change but finds change impossible. I’m often asked, ‘how do you it?’ or rather ‘how did you do it?’ as it was such a long time ago when I ‘changed’- and if I’m being honest, there was no magic trick – I just knew things had to be different and that there was a better life out there for me.

 

The concept took time to build and about eighteen months to come to the moment when I simply flicked a switch in my brain and said to myself that I’d throw away some of my behavioural processes. Sounds easy, eh? I can tell you it’s not. With a mere 5% success rate, going ‘Cold Turkey’ is a gamble that even the biggest sucker wouldn’t take. It’s a good job I didn’t know at the time as it’s an easy out when things get tough but it’s one where the folk I work with gamble and win time and time again.

 

You see there’s definitely something about ‘projected success’ if there is such a thing and being accountable to someone else that’s been there, got the T-shirt and has succeeded. Okay it’s hard excluding something that, we love, desire or depend on in some cases and it takes time to escape our demons. A time where we can feel loss, loneliness and a lack of direction. I found replacing addiction with a low level of daily exercise (when I started) really helped and as I reduced my element of daily risk of relapse. I felt calmer and in a far more stable state of control.

 

Twenty-seven years on and I’m still living life this way, using my own philosophy to get through the ups and downs of daily life. When I started out on this journey, folk thought I’d lost my marbles – in reality, I made a life-changing decision that would become life-changing for many other people too.

 

Coming out of lockdown, it’s worth taking a few moments to consider and recalibrate your thoughts and actions as we head towards the Autumn of 2021 and think about the future. I’m someone with first-hand knowledge of ‘Your Health is your Wealth’ both in a self-inflicted way and by cruel chance. My advice it to lower the odds of losing out on the greatest gift you’ll ever have and look after yourself. 

 

It’ll give you the brightest future you could ever imagine.

 

And as Marshall Bruce Mathers III put so well - ‘This opportunity comes once in a lifetime’ to which I must add, ‘so don’t f@ck it up’…

 

Amen

 

1,103 Marathons - 257 Ultras - 9 Guinness World Records - 15 Marathon des Sables

Big Time - Sir Peter of Gabriel

‘Not me, I'm smarter than that, I worked it out’ - Gabriel

How do you measure success? By how much you earn? By where you live? By how little you have to work? Or by the size and make of your car?

 

Why are we programmed to see objects as a sign of success? And hey, before you say it, I’m just as ‘signs of success programmed’ as the next person. 

 

I mean, the car thing has always got me. And It’s possibly a young man’s game and like most, I was suckered in during my sales career where a ‘Ford Mondeo Ghia X’ was perceived as the pinnacle of car hierarchy. And on finally getting my career-eager hands on the keys I found it cornered like a shopping trolley and was really an old man’s car! 

 

For the record, at only three days old it was stolen off my drive for parts and all that was left was a bodyshell in a remote field gateway that was taken away to an early company car scrapyard grave. And being success-status-driven I went to the next level reaching BMW status where you find that everyone else on the road, even though they don’t know you, instantly hates you.

 

It’s kinda sad that we mark success by the outward signs of wealth rather than by what we’ve achieved or by what we’ve done with other people.

 

You see it’s the things you can’t see that really matter. It’s not where you’ve been, it’s how you’ve done it counts. It’s experience that makes you smart and being smart leads to success. Success that you simply can’t buy and that you earn, over time.

 

If like me you are enjoying the Olympics, see what winning the Gold, Silver or Bronze, means to the competitors. For some, only Gold will do, for others a Bronze will be their life’s defining moment. Success means different things to different people.

 

Now, we are not all world beating athletes, but we can outplay our own dreams and succeed in areas we once thought were unachievable. I know – been there and got the T-Shirt…many times.

 

I found that success comes from hours and hours of training, focus and determination and if you feel you have yet to succeed in life, make a plan and start to make it happen. You probably won’t get anything tangible to show for your efforts but inwardly you’ll know what true success feels like and how it’s measured when you look back on your life in the future.

 

Amen.

 

1,102 Marathons, 257 Ultras, 9 Guinness World Records & 15 Marathon des Sables