'The Real Rael' |
Song
Choice:- If you are ever confused, my advice is to listen to some Genesis from their 1974
concept album 'The Lamb lies down on Broadway'. Watch out
though, as it won't make things any clearer but hopefully it will relax
your mind into accepting what you are experiencing and where you might be travelling in your life next. Don’t ask me where I'm going or where they were going back then, as I don’t know and I don't think that the band
knew either. By that stage they had become a very disparate collective and although
it’s probably their finest work, the Album and its creation went on to implode
their very existence, sadly right at their peak. You’ll have to listen yourself
to see where I’m coming from and just how great and alive the tracks are.
Now,
I’m going to write a trilogy of blogs to try and exorcise my current thoughts.
Don't ask me where this blog is going to go over the next three days, because I haven’t got a bleedin’ clue but the of 'Chamber of
32 Doors, Lilywhite Lilith and Anyway' are tracks that I've always enjoyed
as they seem to offer a higher mental plane of thought and absentiesm Sometimes the music helps
me explore the depths of my grey matter and I thought I’d try and use these
tracks to unscramble some of my current scramble…
Well
it’s a worth a go as I'm confused. Or maybe just ‘Brain Fogged’ is a better analogy.
Well
it’s the best I can come up with right now as it’s hard to put a phrase on it
and even harder to explain. I could attribute
it to being my ‘Big elephant in my head-space’ as a sort of bi-product of last
year’s,‘Guillian-Barre Syndrome’? But that sounds like a bit of a cop-out to me. Or is it just my ‘Non-cop-out’ stiff upper-lip denial that’s causing my confused state. Whatever that confused state is, or even if there is one to be confused about, can you appreciate why I feel ‘Brain-Fogged’.
When
‘Googling’ about it I read, ‘Many people who suffer GBS, whether they make a full
physical recovery or not, will also make a good psychological recovery. They
will find ways of coping with any ongoing problems and will put behind them the
fears and stress associated with the acute illness. However, it is becoming
increasingly clear that in GBS, as in better-researched illnesses such as heart
attack or stroke, a significant proportion of sufferers do continue to
experience severe emotional disturbances.’ 'Fuck me! That didn't help much...
So feeling
only more confused, I returned to the lyrics.`You see, I get the ‘All the
voices shouting loud' reference as that’s a definite contributor to my ‘Mental Tinnitus’.
It’s still there ringing away more as a dull white noise all the time if I’m being honest
and perhaps my own brain is my ‘Lilywhite Lilith’ helping me through the crowd. It’s more like the blind leading the blind though and even though I feel that I’m in
a ‘Tunnel of Night’ I am hoping that one day or some-day soon I’ll see the corner of the
tunnel lit up by whatever’s coming my way… Well that's what happen's to Rael on the album...
The thing is it’s more like a ‘Land of Confusion’
and it’s one that I’m trying to escape from but right now I can’t literally run
fast enough from or even at all some days. The feeling or being lost or loss in fact is the one that is clouding my thoughts.
It’s
easy to say look where you’ve been and look how far you’ve come but it’s doesn’t
make things any better.
Nothing will until a blaze of white light fills the
air - Let's see if the Chamber of 32 Doors will shed any light tomorrow.
Rory Coleman - 982 Marathons - 241 Ultras - 13 Marathon des Sables
9 Guinness World Records - 8,447 Days' Alcohol Free.
& 1 Inspirational Running Memoir - Get your copy here.
Location: Caerdydd, Cymru
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