London Calling - The Clash

I ran my first London Marathon in 1995 and if you said I’d be running my 1,036^th Marathon at the ‘2019 Virgin Money London Marathon’ this Sunday, back then, I’d have said ‘you’d lost your marbles’. 

But then we never know what life has in store for us do we?

I remember that marathon so well; I’d trained SO hard for it. I might have only been running for a year or so, but having already conquered the half-marathon, it seemed a natural progression to accomplish a life’s ambition of running ‘The London’. Up to then I’d been a keen spectator each April to watch the race unfold on the BBC, and see the crowds take on the streets of the capital.

Being a keen drinker and smoker made it seem rather an impossible task ‘Pre-Coleman-Personal-Revolution’ but ‘Never-Say-Never’ (it’s one of my most used phrases nowadays as we simply don’t know what we will think or what we will want to do in the future. We can only surmise) and so it came to pass.

I’d enjoyed investing my time and energy into the training, the planning, the race itself and on the day, I jogged round in a very respectable 3.54.43, a time I’d be most happy with nowadays and I even featured on the BBC race highlights that evening coming over the finishing line hands aloft.

You see, that day, I felt like a WINNER.

And I’ve felt like a WINNER every time I’ve run 26.2 miles. And yes I’ve won a couple of them here and there and have the trophies to prove it but they’re only a reflection of who else took part really.

The satisfaction has come from taking part in all of them and enjoying every single step of all of them no matter how hard, easy, hot, wet, cold, well or poorly organised they’ve been. Not many people can say that about their marathon running career.

I’m speaking at the VM London Marathon Expo today and my key message to everyone taking part on Sunday is to ENJOY the 26.2 miles as you never know where the road will take you as it’s taken me a lot further than I thought it would back in 1995.

It seems like yesterday...

Read my story in my book ‘A Rebel and a Runner’ - just email me rory@rorycoleman.co.uk and I can post you a signed copy for £15 inc P&P.

1,035 Marathons, 250 Ultras, 9 Guinness World Records & 15 Marathon des Sables

Squonk - Genesis

Squonk - Colin Elgie

Lyrics:- 'You never had the things you thought you should have had' - Banks & Rutherford

Song Choice:- A real deal breaker for Phil Collins as a vocalist this one and after being encouraged to take on the lead vocal role for 'Squonk' he eventually went on sing lead vocals on all the tracks of the 1976 Genesis Album, 'A Trick of the Tail' - The rest of course is history. Have a trip back yourself here it's just as I remember them.

Luckily for me, I saw them play 'Squonk' at Knebworth in June '78 and again at the Birmingham Odeon in April '80. It was a real show and album favourite of mine as the lyrics paint such a vivid picture of a trapped mythical animal that when captured disappears in a pool of it's own tears.

Whacky stuff eh? And great in the day...

Ok, the song is dated, but then again, the lyrics still feel relevant today. I mean how many times have you been in a situation where you think you have something's nailed only for it to disappear right in front of your eyes. Sometimes things that you think are long gone appear gain, plain to see right in front of your eyes. It happens to me all the time, it happened to me yesterday and I'm not surprised as I'm someone that pushes the boundaries in what can be a very 'cruel world'.

For those that 'never had the things you thought you should have had', well there's a case here for saying that you could still have what you've always wanted, all you need is to go out and get it.

Is there something that you are trying to capture and maybe frightened to do so? Or re-capture like me, like possibly your Youth!

Rory Coleman - 986 Marathons - 241 Ultras - 13 Marathon des Sables

9 Guinness World Records - 8,472 Days' Alcohol Free

& 1 Inspirational Running Memoir - Get your copy here.

Location: Cardiff, Wales

Design for Life - Manic Street Preachers

Lyrics:- 'What price now for a shallow piece of dignity' - Bradfield, Moore & Wire

Song Choice:- This song is 21 year's old, believe it or not, and was the first to be written and released following the mysterious disappearance of figurehead Richey Edwards the previous year. The track struck a chord with me aback in 1996, and still does. It's the one that comes to mind as I often bump into lead singer James Dean Bradfield in Pontcanna, as he lives locally to me here in Cardiff.

You see, the track has a great title and brilliant hook in 'A Design of Life'... It's a phrase I've often considered and really mulled over many, many times. For me, it conjures a mental picture of having your life being printed out clearly in front of you, with all the highs and lows, there to be seen. Everything is visualised and everything is planned. 

Wow, what a thought and I wonder how many people would follow theirs if they had one?

I thought about the track again this morning when I was writing to one of my clients. I messaged him, 'We are the Architects of our own Failure'. Ok, it was harsh but then actually it isn't - it's a totally spot on comment. I mean given enough latitude and lack of concentration and commitment, we f@ck up our lives good and proper without even trying sometimes. 

Well let's be honest, we all do don't we.

Now this isn't like some Sunday Morning Sermon Blog, where it's all about asking for forgiveness for being a weak old sinner (no wonder no one wants to go to Church much anymore) - this is about searching for a positive solution and framework that can be used to erode the negativity that we sub-consciously let into our lives. There's nothing worse than having all your good work being demolished through a moment of weakness of one's own design.

Everyone can be their own better Architect...

No doubt the track will raise its head again as I circumnavigate the 400m track at Leckwith Stadium in Cardiff 105.4 times for the marathon there on Sunday as I will no doubt be thinking wtf am I doing this for - but then again, I've got no-one to blame as it's all part of my own blueprint that I'm following.

How's your 'Design' looking?

Rory Coleman - 984 Marathons - 241 Ultras - 13 Marathon des Sables

9 Guinness World Records - 8,465 Days' Alcohol Free

& 1 Inspirational Running Memoir - Get your copy here.

Location: Cardiff, Wales

Lilywhite Lilith - Genesis

'The Real Rael'

Lyrics:- 'The chamber was in confusion - all the voices shouting loud' - Banks, Collins, Gabriel, Hackett & Rutherford.

Song Choice:- If you are ever confused, my advice is to listen to some Genesis from their 1974 concept album 'The Lamb lies down on Broadway'. Watch out though, as it won't make things any clearer but hopefully it will relax your mind into accepting what you are experiencing and where you might be travelling in your life next. Don’t ask me where I'm going or where they were going back then, as I don’t know and I don't think that the band knew either. By that stage they had become a very disparate collective and although it’s probably their finest work, the Album and its creation went on to implode their very existence, sadly right at their peak. You’ll have to listen yourself to see where I’m coming from and just how great and alive the tracks are.

Now, I’m going to write a trilogy of blogs to try and exorcise my current thoughts. Don't ask me where this blog is going to go over the next three days, because I haven’t got a bleedin’ clue but the of 'Chamber of 32 Doors, Lilywhite Lilith and Anyway' are tracks that I've always enjoyed as they seem to offer a higher mental plane of thought and absentiesm  Sometimes the music helps me explore the depths of my grey matter and I thought I’d try and use these tracks to unscramble some of my current scramble…

Well it’s a worth a go as I'm confused. Or maybe just ‘Brain Fogged’ is a better analogy.

Well it’s the best I can come up with right now as it’s hard to put a phrase on it and even harder to explain. I could attribute it to being my ‘Big elephant in my head-space’ as a sort of bi-product of last year’s,‘Guillian-Barre Syndrome’? But that sounds like a bit of a cop-out to me. Or is it just my ‘Non-cop-out’ stiff upper-lip denial that’s causing my confused state. Whatever that confused state is, or even if there is one to be confused about, can you appreciate why I feel ‘Brain-Fogged’.

When ‘Googling’ about it I read, ‘Many people who suffer GBS, whether they make a full physical recovery or not, will also make a good psychological recovery. They will find ways of coping with any ongoing problems and will put behind them the fears and stress associated with the acute illness. However, it is becoming increasingly clear that in GBS, as in better-researched illnesses such as heart attack or stroke, a significant proportion of sufferers do continue to experience severe emotional disturbances.’ 'Fuck me! That didn't help much...

So feeling only more confused, I returned to the lyrics.`You see, I get the ‘All the voices shouting loud' reference as that’s a definite contributor to my ‘Mental Tinnitus’. It’s still there ringing away more as a dull white noise all the time if I’m being honest and perhaps my own brain is my ‘Lilywhite Lilith’ helping me through the crowd. It’s more like the blind leading the blind though and even though I feel that I’m in a ‘Tunnel of Night’ I am hoping that one day or some-day soon I’ll see the corner of the tunnel lit up by whatever’s coming my way… Well that's what happen's to Rael on the album...

The thing is it’s more like a ‘Land of Confusion’ and it’s one that I’m trying to escape from but right now I can’t literally run fast enough from or even at all some days. The feeling or being lost or loss in fact is the one that is clouding my thoughts.

It’s easy to say look where you’ve been and look how far you’ve come but it’s doesn’t make things any better. 

Nothing will until a blaze of white light fills the air - Let's see if the Chamber of 32 Doors will shed any light tomorrow.

Rory Coleman - 982 Marathons - 241 Ultras - 13 Marathon des Sables 

9 Guinness World Records - 8,447 Days' Alcohol Free.

& 1 Inspirational Running Memoir - Get your copy here.

Location: Caerdydd, Cymru

Silver and Gold - U2

Lyrics:- 'If you want a way out Silver and Gold' - Hewson

Song Choice:- Ok I'll admit I've cheated on choosing 'Silver and Gold' as the last of my 'Joshua Tree' blog tracks. The 'Mothers of the Disappeared' is too much of a dirge for me, like the later and much loved (by everyone except me it seems) 'One' - and 'Silver and Gold' is on my remastered 'Joshua Tree' album so thankfully it saves the day and gives the album the write-off it deserves.

Anyway, forgetting it's anti-apartheid protesting connotation, I've always loved the above lyric from the 'Silver and Gold'. The concept here is that money can provide the way out of any situation you might find yourself in - and it really makes me chuckle. It feels very two dimensional to me and of course having money makes life more comfortable but it doesn't make you happy.

I mean, if you have money, lots of money, it's amazing what you can buy for a good chunk of 'Silver and Gold' if you have some to spare. Say if you have the odd £30 million down the side of your settee, you could have blown it on Rio Ferdinand for instance - according to his 2002 transfer fee from Leeds to Man Utd, or a 1962 Ferrari GTO 250 if cars are your thing or a Tornado GR4 if you have your own runway - or even second-hand Space Shuttle with a few million miles on it...

The thing is, would it provide you with a 'way out' or substitute your current problems with a fresh set to conquer. I wonder what a 'Drunk Phil Collins' would say could afford all of the above with cash to spare.

You see 'if you want a way out' Silver and Gold can't buy doesn't buy you determination as that's 'Priceless' - I know. It certainly can't buy you happiness - I know that too... so think on if 'Silver and Goal' is your goal.

If you think about the 30 years since the 'Joshua Tree' was released in 1987 do you think about the 'Silver and Gold' you've had slip through your fingers or what you've accomplished...

Do stuff, amazing stuff, live life as that's the 'Way Out'...

Rory Coleman - 982 Marathons - 241 Ultras - 13 Marathon des Sables 

9 Guinness World Records - 8,444 Days' Alcohol Free.

& 1 Inspirational Running Memoir - Get your copy here.

Location: Caerdydd, Cymru

One Tree Hill - U2

Lyrics:- 'The sun so bright it leaves no shadows, only scars carved into stone' - Hewson

Song Choice:- Taken from 'The Joshua Tree' this very personal song of grieving and it makes for a truly haunting track and one that's well worth another listen. Having not had a such a very close death in my friends or family, I can't empathise with Bono over his feelings of loss for his friend but it does resonate with me, especially after my experience of the past few months.

Grieving can take many forms and apart from the obvious there are lots of other things that take time to recover from. Broken relationships, broken-hearts and in my case my identity as that was shattered in April last year. It's not an easy thing to write about or to describe as I'm not really sure what I mean myself if I'm being honest as I'm still coming to terms with it. 

All I can say is that It's a kind of fog or a memory of something that you know the name of and is on the tip of your tongue but you can't for the life of you remember it. It's fucking annoying to say the least. And yes, I can say that I'm very lucky and I should be happy with my convalescence and that it's early days and that I'm blessed to be anything more that alive, in possession of my marbles (just) or even mobile - but I do miss being me.

I'm not all that sure even if I know what the pre-GBS me was like as even that's a bit of a brain fade but I know what I was capable of and it's just frustrating - I just ran a 6:25:26 marathon and I mean ran which is so shit. I'm not angry about it as I'm not an angry person - I just feel a bit lost that's all. Luckily I have brilliant support at home from Lady C and those pesky boys (not you Sam) to keep me feeling young, even though the clock is saying otherwise and I'm an impending Granddad!

You see sometimes you never know how lucky you are or just how good things are even right at the moment when you think they should be better. 

Just how fortunate can one person be or in my case have-been so far. I recognise that but however strong I can be and inspire myself about things, the GBS has certainly knocked the wind out of my sails and that's a tough one to take - especially if you are used to being indestructible. And Yes I know the running doesn't matter blah, blah, blah but I've been doing it for so long, it's hard thing to have taken away. The emotional crutch it's provided for so long has been well used... Listening to the track and Bono sings, the 'Sun's so bright' and it is so why am I moaning? 

I'm still here, still kicking and with a lot more life to live in me yet, you never know I might get back to being something like the person I used to be with some of the no-so-good bits removed!

You never know eh?

More tomorrow from One Tree Hill...

Rory Coleman - 982 Marathons - 241 Ultras - 13 Marathon des Sables 

9 Guinness World Records - 8,442 Days' Alcohol Free.

& 1 Inspirational Running Memoir - Get your copy here.

Location: Caerdydd, Cymru - God's Country