Promised you a Miracle - Simple Minds

The New Year symbolises a fresh beginning, a time for reflection on the past and a renewed commitment to personal growth and improvement. And, as the ‘Self-proclaimed King of the NYR’, (I’m 32 years’ into mine in January), I thought I’d blog my thoughts and see if any of them resonate with you. Let’s face it, leaving a battered and rather worn out 2024 behind might be a good thing, and starting with a fresh slate in 2025 might just be the tonic to an overindulgent Christmastime.

So, with that in mind, creating effective New Year’s Resolutions requires self-awareness, a strategic mindset, and a strong discipline to follow them through.

 

You see, the tradition of New Year’s Resolutions dates back thousands of years. The ancient Babylonians are often credited as the first people to make them, pledging to the Gods to return borrowed objects and repay debts as part of their New Year’s celebrations. Similarly, ancient Romans made promises to the God Janus, as a way to seek favour for the coming year.

 

Throughout history, the practice of setting resolutions has evolved to focus more on self-improvement. In modern times, resolutions often revolve around health, career ambitions, relationships and personal development. Despite the changes in their focus, resolutions remain a universal way to reflect on the past and chart a more hopeful course for the future.

 

Why New Year’s Resolutions Matter?

Resolutions are more than just a cultural tradition. They serve an essential psychological function. Here are some reasons why making New Year’s Resolutions are valuable:-

 

Promotes Self-Reflection

The act of setting resolutions encourages us to evaluate our lives. What we achieved this year? Where did we fail? What aspects of our lives need improvement? 

 

Encourages Goal-Setting

Resolutions provide a structured framework for goal-setting. By identifying specific objectives, we can focus our energy and resources more effectively, increasing the likelihood of success.

 

Fosters Optimism

The start of a new year is inherently symbolic - a chance to wipe the slate clean. Resolutions tap into this sense of optimism, inspiring hope and motivation.

 

Enhances Accountability

Declaring resolutions publicly or writing them down creates a sense of accountability. It’s easier to stay committed to a goal when we’ve explicitly broadcast it.

 

NYR Types

Resolutions often reflect universal aspirations, such as:-

Health and Fitness Goals - Losing weight, exercising regularly, eating healthier, quitting smoking, or reducing alcohol consumption.

 

Career and Financial Goals - Advancing in a career, saving money, paying off debts, and learning new skills.

 

Personal Development Goals - Reading more, learning a new language, or pursuing a hobby.

 

Relationship Goals - Spending more quality time with loved ones, improving communication, or resolving conflicts.

 

Philanthropic Goals – Volunteering or raining money for charity.

 

Mental Health Goals - Practicing mindfulness, reducing stress, or seeking therapy.

 

While these goals are common, their success often depends on the approach taken to implement them.

 

Why NYRs Fail

Despite the enthusiasm that accompanies New Year’s Resolutions, studies show that a significant percentage of people abandon their goals within days even hours! Common reasons for failure include:-

 

Unrealistic Goals

Resolutions like ‘losing weight’ or ‘saving money’ lack specificity and can feel overwhelming. Without a clear plan, it’s easy to lose focus.

 

Lack of Motivation

Many resolutions stem from peer pressure rather than internal motivation. Goals that aren’t personally meaningful are harder to sustain.

 

Poor Planning

Without a plan, it’s challenging to turn resolutions into actionable habits. Ambitious goals often require incremental progress.

 

Impatience

Significant changes take time, and many people abandon their resolutions when they don’t see some immediate results.

 

All-or-Nothing Thinking

A single setback can cause people to abandon their goals entirely, rather than viewing mistakes as part of the process.

 

How to Make Effective NYR

To increase the likelihood of success, it’s essential to approach resolutions strategically. Here are some tips for crafting effective New Year’s Resolutions:

 

Be Specific

Vague goals are hard to achieve. Instead of saying, ‘I want to get fit’, set a specific target, such as, ‘I will exercise for 30 minutes, five days a week.’

 

Set Realistic Goals

Ambition is good, but unrealistic goals can lead to frustration and failure. Ensure your resolutions are attainable within the timeframe of the year.

 

Break Goals into Smaller Steps

Large goals can feel overwhelming, so break them into smaller, manageable milestones. For example, if your goal is to save £5,000, plan to save £417 each month – it sounds far more achievable.

 

Focus on One or Two Goals

It’s tempting to set multiple resolutions, but spreading yourself too thinly can reduce your chances of success. Prioritise one or two goals that matter to you most.

 

Write Them Down

Writing your resolutions down makes them real and serves as a reminder of your commitment. Keep them somewhere visible, like on the fridge.

 

Monitor Your Progress

Regularly check in on your resolutions to assess your progress. Celebrate small wins to stay motivated and adjust as needed.

 

Build a Support System

Share your resolutions with friends and family who can encourage and hold you accountable. Consider joining a group or community with similar goals.

 

Practice Self-Compassion

Mistakes and setbacks are inevitable. Instead of giving up, use them as learning opportunities and recommit to your goals.

 

Staying Motivated Throughout the Year

Even with a solid plan, staying motivated can be challenging. Here are some strategies to maintain your commitment:-

 

Visualise Success - Picture the benefits of achieving your goal, such as improving your health or greater financial stability.

 

Reward Yourself - Celebrate milestones with small rewards to reinforce positive behaviour.

 

Track Your Progress - Use a diary, app, or chart to document your achievements.

 

Be Flexible - Life is unpredictable, so be willing to adapt your goals as your circumstances change.

 

Remind Yourself of Your Why - Revisit the reasons you set your resolution in the first place to reignite your motivation.

 

So, as we head into 2025…

New Year’s Resolutions are a powerful tool for personal transformation, offering an opportunity to reflect on the past and set intentions for the future. While they require effort, discipline, and perseverance, the process of making and striving toward resolutions fosters growth and self-awareness. By setting specific, realistic goals and adopting a flexible, motivated approach, you can turn your aspirations into meaningful achievements. Whether your aim is to improve your health, advance your career, or nurture relationships, the act of resolving to grow is a step toward a brighter future - for yourself and those around you.

 

Please join me and eject some of the problems that you feel have spoilt your 2024 and let’s make some Resolutions together that will last a lifetime.

1,204 Marathons - 284 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - 32+ Year's NYR

No Self Control - Sir Peter of Gabriel

I’m often asked how I made my leap of faith back in 1994, and when I think back, I’d say I made the poor state of my mental health my priority – I put myself first. It started 32 years ago today in fact when I stubbed out my last cigarette and decided to look after myself, as I felt no one else was going to do it for me.

And in a world that celebrates selflessness and sacrifice, the concept of putting yourself first carries a massive negative connotation. Words like ‘selfish’ or ‘self-centred’ tend to overshadow the importance of self-priority. However, putting yourself first is not an act of selfishness; it’s an essential practice for mental, emotional, and physical well-being. It’s a self-act of kindness. 

 

When you prioritise your own needs, you’ll create a solid foundation for a happier, healthier life – it’s kinda simple. Putting yourself first is about self-respect. It means acknowledging your own worth and recognising that your needs, desires, and boundaries matter just as much if not more than anyone else’s. 

 

Constantly putting others ahead of yourself can lead to burnout, resentment, and emotional exhaustion. By prioritising your own needs, you recharge your emotional reserves. 

 

When you put yourself first, you learn to say ‘no’ to situations, to people, or to commitments. This allows you to focus your energy on what truly matters – namely YOURSELF.

 

Neglecting your own health in favour of others results in long-term consequences, such as stress-related illnesses and fatigue. Prioritising yourself encourages healthier habits, like eating well, exercising and achieving.

 

And when you put yourself first, you demonstrate the importance of self-care to those around you, especially children, friends, and loved ones. It sends a message that taking care of oneself is not only acceptable but a priority.

 

Yet despite its benefits, prioritising yourself can feel quite daunting and society often glorifies selflessness, particularly for women, parents, and caregivers. These roles are frequently associated with putting others’ needs before their own, creating feelings of guilt - it attracts criticism or disapproval you see. Friends, family, or colleagues might label you as selfish and uncaring.

 

Integrating self-priority into your life is entirely achievable. Understand that you are deserving of the same care and attention that you provide to others. 

 

Learn to say ‘No’ without feeling guilty. Practice asserting your needs and communicate them clearly. For example, if a colleague frequently offloads work onto you, decline and explain your own workload and then say ‘No’.

 

Treat time for yourself as non-negotiable. Whether it’s 30 minutes of reading, a morning run, or simply time spent reflecting, dedicate this time to activities that help to recharge your batteries.

 

If you’re overwhelmed with responsibilities, delegate tasks where possible. Sharing the load not only eases your own burden but also encourages collaboration and mutual respect from others.

 

Making time for physical activity, balanced nutrition, and adequate sleep are the foundations of self-priority that often go neglected. If you struggle with guilt or fear of judgment, consider seeking guidance from a Coach (Like me). They can help you navigate emotional barriers and help develop coping strategies. It will reduce your stress, anxiety, and feelings of being overwhelmed and you’ll gain a sense of balance and control over your life.

 

If a friend consistently takes advantage of your kindness maybe it’s time to reset the boundaries and reevaluate your friendship. Putting yourself first is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. It’s about recognising that your well-being is the cornerstone of a more fulfilled life. 

 

Lastly, the decision to put yourself first may feel uncomfortable at first, but with time and practice, it will become more natural and play an integral part in your life. Ultimately, self-priority is an act of self-love and a gift that will keep on giving.

 

So, go on, give a gift to yourself this Christmas, and make a New Year’s Resolution to put yourself first for once. It’s worth a try isn’t it?

1,204 Marathons - 284 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - 32 Years' - One Life

Stop - Spice Girls

The Eight Stages of Addiction Escape…

Addiction is always a hot topic this time of year, and escape from its claws can be a lifelong trial for some. Being somewhat of an addict myself, I didn’t actually know that these stages really existed. I just did what most folk do when they are in ‘Addiction Hell’ - namely pack up, mess up and then try again.

Now, I’ve seen some very promising and talented individuals end up becoming all consumed by their dependence on a spectrum of booze, drugs and behavioural traits. Even the acknowledgement of their situation can be too much to take on board, which takes me nicely onto stage one.

1.     Denial

We all know folk that are in ‘Denial’. Yes, acquaintances that have no idea that they are out of control or endangering themselves and the lives of others. Their once-a-month occasional-blow-out, has spiralled into a daily need. It’s a process that happens all to quickly and It’s amazing that ‘a-once-in-every-28-days-kinda-thing’ can become an all-consuming ‘28-in-28’ necessity. I’ve been there myself, fingers in my ears, blocking out the observations of my nearest and dearest as I continued my self-destructive behaviour. Put simply, some folk are quite happily killing themselves.

2.     Acknowledgment

Becoming aware of an Addiction takes time. It feels like the Addiction has slowly crept up on you - kinda when you weren’t looking. The glass of wine after work to unwind has become two, three, a bottle - two bottles, every day. Every morning has become a bit of a battle to get out of bed and the first few fuzzy hours are hastily coffee-filled as the day finally clears around lunchtime to start the whole process again. When I speak to daily one-bottlers about seeing three and four bottlers, I always find it amusing when they say, ‘I’m not that bad’, but they are - they just haven’t ‘acknowledged’ their precarious position, as yet.

3.     Not Today

When they have, well that’s when the ‘Dithering’ starts. Do you know an ‘Addiction Ditherer’? Yes they’ve ‘fessed up. Come clean. Acknowledged their situation but are really nowhere nearer sorting it out. This stage can last the longest and I’m sure we all know serial cigarette smokers for instance that say ‘I’d love to give up’ yet really you know they never will as they love smoking too much or feel like they’ve smoked for so long that there wouldn’t be any health benefits to be gained. How wrong they are and at £20 a packet - how much poorer they are too. I remember being at stage three for some time before plucking up the courage to attack Stage Four as that, takes balls.

4.     Next Week

Yes, pick YOUR day, the day that can change your life forever. I remember mine most clearly - the 5th January 1994. It took a huge amount of strength and personal realisation that I needed to change. Realising my ‘Self-failure’ and ‘Weakness of Character’ was a bitter pill to swallow. Admitting to myself was one thing, admitting it to someone else - well that was another matter, so I spent a fair bit of time in the ‘Next Week’ stage as there’s nothing more frightening than standing on the edge of a new future minus your best friend - Addiction.

5.     Action

But then you take a deep breath and jump, it’s exhilarating. It’s fun to be free. Full of Adrenalin and positive thoughts. Well for a few days anyway, until the cracks start to appear and the hunger pangs of addiction start eating away like worms into your brain - consuming your inner resolve and goodwill. And don’t get me wrong, some folk grab freedom at the first opportunity. One short, sharp shock being all that’s needed to reverse the addiction tailspin in a single dose. If only it happened like that for everyone.

6.     Failure

On average, it takes four times through the ‘Action-Failure-Cycle’ - an average. The ‘F’ word of Addiction is so condemning. For those looking for eternal abstention we’ll say from booze - the day count is there as an incentive as well as a final condemnation of defeat as the clock resets to zero and the whole process starts over. Food Addiction? Well, that’s more of a ‘Grey Area’ as even the mighty weightloss success stories I’ve helped to create will admit to a few sins along the way. Some folk take failure as a given when setting out on achieving their goal - I’ve always been mindful that any hint of failure must be put out of mind for success to happen and the ‘F’ word to happily ‘F-off’.

7.     Action

And back it’s back to Stage Five, well Stage three really if you really need a run up to tackle your obsession once again. I get the ‘Learning from Failure’ analogy and as a nation we love someone winning against the odds - succeeding after a making a complete balls-up the first time round. Only too often, this becomes the norm and folk become Yo-Yo Slimmers, Drinkers and worst of all Negative-Thinkers. My advice is always to look ahead with a blue-sky attitude - where the possibilities of life far outweigh the Kryptonite that’s attacking your inner resolve. Only thinking about successfully completing the next 24hrs in your quest to become the ‘Real’ you. The one that isn’t distracted, behaviour obsessed - one that feels calm and liberated.

8.     Termination

And when you are free, you’ll look back and wonder why you ever got so addicted in the first place. Why Booze, Drugs or Food became such an emotional crutch and such a problem. You might not even know you are a ‘Terminator’ - I didn’t. I set off on my journey just seeing if I could complete just one day, then a month and then a year. My obsession to do something has become an obsession not to do the same thing. A positive outcome from a dark time that’s now hidden in the vaults right at the back of my mind that’s now covered in a layer of positivity and achievements. It masks any notion of a Stage Six Failure and continues to encourage me to help those who find themselves in a similar predicament.

So, let the battle begin. Addiction or Compulsive Behaviour of any kind eats away at the soul. Each morning, we get up with the best of intentions accidents happen, things go wrong, don’t go to plan or we plainly have a shitty day. Staying strong in these moments, well that’s the key to success as it’s easier to live life clean when things are going well.

And if any of the above rings true, well it’s time for a change. Time to be free of the ‘Burden of Addiction’ and time to be AWESOME - Come and join me and let me help YOU to a better life - Amen.

1,204 Marathons - 284 Marathons - 17 Marathon des Sables - 9 GWR

Communication - Spandau Ballet

'Communication let me down' - Hadley

Conversation is a fundamental aspect of human life, it’s how we connect, learn, share, and understand the world around us. In personal relationships, professional settings, or casual interactions, conversation serves as a bridge between minds. It enables us to exchange ideas, express emotions, and build relationships. 

Fundamentally, conversation is a form of communication between two or more people and unlike monologues or speeches, conversation is interactive. Its back-and-forth dialogue is where each person has the opportunity to contribute, respond, and shape the direction of the next part of the discussion.

 

A good conversation is not just about talking; it’s as much about listening and understanding. The exchange of thoughts and ideas makes it an inherently social activity. A conversation can happen in many environments - over a coffee, on a call, or in a text. The platform’s might be different, but the underlying purpose remains the same: communication.

 

So what’s the point?

 

The purpose of conversation can vary depending on the context, but some key interactions include:-

 

Sharing Information

One of the most common reasons for conversing is to exchange information.

Building Relationships

Conversation is a primary way people build and maintain relationships. It helps us establish rapport, express care, and develop a deeper understanding of each another.

 

Problem Solving

Through dialogue, we can collaborate with others to solve problems. A constructive conversation can lead to brainstorming, critical thinking, and finding creative solutions.

 

Conflict Resolution

In instances of disagreement, conversation can be the tool for reconciliation.

 

While the concept of conversation is both simple and skilful it requires:-

 

Active Listening

Listening is the foundation of any productive conversation. Active listening means not just hearing the words but understanding the underlying message, interpreting tone, and responding thoughtfully. It also means being present in the moment, resisting distractions, and not interrupting the speaker. Active listening is a sign of respect and empathy.

 

Engagement

Good conversationalists show interest in what the other person has to say. They ask thoughtful questions, offer relevant responses, and engage with the content of the conversation rather than merely waiting for their turn to speak.

 

Turn-Taking

Conversations are dynamic, and participants must navigate the ebb and flow of dialogue. A skilled conversationalist knows when to speak and when to give space to others. Interrupting or dominating the conversation can hinder the exchange and make it feel less like a conversation and make it more of a monologue.

 

Empathy and Understanding

A great conversation involves emotional intelligence. Understanding the emotions behind the words, acknowledging feelings, and showing empathy can deepen the connection between participants. Responding with sensitivity to the emotional context of a conversation can make a huge difference to how it’s received.

 

Non-Verbal Communication

Non-verbal clues such as body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and eye contact all play a significant role in conversation. In fact, up to 93% of communication is non-verbal, with only 7% coming from the words themselves. Paying attention to these signals can help clarify meaning and enhance the connection between people.

 

Clarity and Conciseness

Good conversationalists are able to express their thoughts clearly and concisely. Rambling confuses listeners!

 

Respect and Tact

Respectful conversation ensures that participants feel valued and heard. Tact involves knowing how to address sensitive topics without offending or alienating others. The balance of honesty and politeness can be delicate but is essential for maintaining positive relationships.

 

Conversations come in many forms, each serving a different purpose or style. 

 

Casual Conversation

This is the most informal and relaxed type of dialogues. It often takes place amongst friends or acquaintances and can cover a wide range of topics, from the weather to personal anecdotes. Casual conversation helps strengthen social bonds and build a sense of camaraderie.

 

Deep or Meaningful Conversation

These conversations go beyond surface-level topics and delve into more substantial matters, such as philosophy, life goals, personal beliefs, and emotional experiences. 

 

Debates and Discussions

These types of conversations often occur when there are different viewpoints. While debates aim to argue a position, discussions seek mutual understanding. In both cases, the exchange is more structured, and participants may present evidence or reasoning to support their points. 

 

Persuasive Conversations

These aim to influence the opinions or behaviour of other people. Persuasion relies on logical arguments, emotional appeals, and credibility. Sales pitches, political discourse, and negotiations often fall under this category.

 

Conflict Conversations

These conversations arise when there is a disagreement or tension between participants. Conflict resolution requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to listen to the other person’s perspective. The goal is to reach a mutually acceptable outcome without damaging the relationship.

 

Small Talk

Often viewed as a conversation filler, small talk may seem trivial but plays an important role in social interactions. It breaks the ice, establishes rapport, and helps people navigate unfamiliar situations or environments, like meeting new people or attending events.

 

Technology in Conversation

Technology has dramatically transformed how we engage in conversation. With the rise of social media, messaging, and video conferencing, we are now able to communicate with anyone, anywhere, at any time. While this has increased convenience and accessibility, it has also raised questions about the quality and depth of these interactions.

 

In online conversations, we often lose the richness of face-to-face communication, such as body language, tone, and immediate feedback. Text-based communication, while efficient, can lead to misunderstandings due to the lack of non-verbal cues. Moreover, digital platforms can encourage more superficial exchanges, often reducing complex ideas to brief snippets or even emojis.

 

Despite these challenges, technology also offers new opportunities for connecting. Video calls, for instance, allow for more personal, face-to-face interaction across distance, while social media provides a platform for engaging in global conversations. The key lies in using technology thoughtfully to enhance, rather than replace, genuine human interaction.

 

Ultimately, conversation is more than just a way to exchange information; it is a vital tool for building relationships, sharing experiences, and shaping the world. 

 

And as our world becomes increasingly more interconnected, the art of conversation will continue to play a crucial role in bringing people together, create greater understanding, and help to build a sense of shared humanity.

1,204 Marathons - 284 Ultras - 17 Marathon des Sables - 9 GWR - 1 Life

Adventure - Television

Ain't that nothin'

Adventure is a concept that has captivated the human spirit for centuries. It calls the brave and the curious, urging them to step outside their comfort zones and embrace the unknown. And whether it’s a physical journey, an intellectual pursuit, or a personal transformation, adventure delivers the desire to explore, get challenged, and discover new horizons. It’s a dynamic force that has shaped history, culture, and individual lives. It continues to inspire countless people to push their boundaries, take risks, and redefine what’s possible. Adventure is life defined.

Adventure’s about embracing uncertainty. It’s the act of stepping into a situation where outcomes are not guaranteed, where risks are left behind. This uncertainty is what makes adventure so compelling, as it offers the possibility of both danger as well as discovery. It forces individuals to confront their fears and test their inner limits.

 

In its many forms, adventure often involves elements of excitement, exploration, and exhaustion. It could come from climbing a mountain or conquering a desert. The thing that unites all forms of adventure is the willingness to embark on a journey where the end is not predetermined, and where the process itself holds as much value as the destination. Read some of my other blogs for the my thoughts about ‘the journey’.

 

Historically, adventure has been at the heart of many of humanity’s greatest achievements. 

 

The age of exploration, for example, saw adventurers like Christopher Columbus, Marco Polo, and Sir Francis Drake charti new territories and expand the boundaries of the known world. These explorers, driven by curiosity and the desire to discover new lands and riches, encountered immense challenges, from treacherous seas to hostile encounters with natives. Their adventures, however, paved the way for the exchange of cultures, ideas, and goods that would shape the course of history.

 

Similarly, the spirit of adventure is deeply embedded in the history of human civilization. The exploration of the North and South Poles, the ascent of Mount Everest, and even the recent missions to Mars are all manifestations of humanity’s unyielding drive to test the limits of what’s possible.

 

Adventure is not just an external pursuit; it is also a psychological experience. The act of embarking on an adventure forces folk to confront their fears, uncertainties, and limitations. It requires a willingness to embrace discomfort. For some, this can be exhilarating, as it taps into deep-seated desires for novelty, excitement, and the thrill of the unexpected. 

 

Psychologists have long studied the human desire for adventure and risk-taking. One theory, known as the ‘sensation-seeking hypothesis’, dictates that some individuals are biologically predisposed to seek out novel and intense experiences. This drive for stimulation can manifest in a variety of ways, from seeking physical thrills like skydiving to exploring new ideas and ways of thinking. Adventure, in this context, is a means of satisfying a deeper psychological need for variety and excitement. The thrill of the chase perhaps.

 

Moreover, adventure offers the opportunity for self-discovery. When faced with challenges or adversity, folk often learn more about their own strengths and weaknesses. They gain a sense of self-reliance, resilience, and confidence as they overcome obstacles and adapt to new situations. 

 

In today’s world, adventure may seem more accessible than ever, thanks to advancements in technology, transportation, and communication. Yet, the nature of adventure has changed in many ways. The physical frontiers of exploration may have shrunk, but the realms of intellectual, creative, and virtual adventure have expanded. With the internet and global travel, it is now possible to embark on adventures that span the globe or delve into new dimensions of knowledge without ever leaving one’s home.

 

One significant aspect of modern adventure is the rise of experiential travel. Many people now seek out ‘adventures’ that involve more than just sightseeing - they are looking for immersive, transformative experiences that challenge their perceptions and expand their understanding of the world. 

 

Similarly, adventure is increasingly being embraced in the context of personal development. More people are exploring the concept of ‘adventure in everyday life,’ seeking to cultivate a mindset of curiosity and exploration in their daily routines. This might involve trying new hobbies, engaging in unfamiliar social situations, or tackling personal fears. For some, adventure becomes a way of breaking free from the monotony of routine and embracing the excitement of the unknown, even in the most mundane of settings.

 

While adventure is often associated with positive outcomes - discovery, growth, and excitement - it is also important to recognise the risks involved. Many great adventurers have paid a heavy price for their pursuits, whether it’s physical injury, emotional trauma, or even death. The dangers of adventure are part of what makes it so compelling, as it forces individuals to take risks and make choices that can have significant consequences.

 

As individuals we are continuously drawn to the spirit of adventure because it embodies our deepest desires to transcend the ordinary, to face challenges, and to embrace the possibilities that life has to offer. In this sense, the call of adventure is timeless - it beckons us forwards, urging us to venture beyond what we know, and to explore the boundless frontiers of the world and of ourselves.

 

How’s your sense of adventure looking?

1,203 Marathons - 284 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - 1 Life

The Voice - Ultravox

It's the 11th December tomorrow and my friend in Germany, Ronald Reinhardt will be celebrating twenty years' of sobriety. Here is his story, in his own words. 

Sometimes, all we need is a voice - my voice in his case, powerful and in strong low tones...here's the story.

My Second life…

Twenty years ago today, I was running a 65km Ultramarathon from Offenburg to Baden-Baden in Germany and at the time I was 38 years old.

 

It was a week on from my last horrible, and as usual disastrous, booze session. A date I will never forget as my father died on 4^th December 2018. It had been in the same pub where I’d started my drinking career more than 20 years earlier - the one where my father had ‘taught’ me how to drink when I was about fifteen. I’d been so drunk that night I lost my wallet containing 2000€ and slept rough in minus temperatures before being picked up in the morning by the Police.

Over the years, my drinking had been so heavy and frequent, that I wasn’t far away from being homeless. I was, and still am, a Professional gambler, living on my own without rules. It was a free and fun lifestyle but due to my heavy drinking, my financial situation was diminishing. So, to save money, I bought a motorhome, which was also provided a convenient place to collapse in when I was drunk but also transported me to running races.

Somehow, I was still able to run Marathons and Ultra-Marathons such as the 80km Swiss Alpine and even two Ironmans. I was a binge-drinker having heavy sessions which could last up to three weeks being drunk every day and then have long sober breaks in between of up to three months. At my lowest point, I drank in shady bars and with homeless people in the park.

A week after my last season, I still felt hungover, yet I decided to drive to Offenburg to run with a group of people for my sixth ultra of the year. I still don’t understand how I was able doing that over so many years despite drinking so heavily. Although it wasn’t a usual kind of event as most of the participants had problems with alcohol, drugs, relationships, or mental issues despite being able to run 65km and as a group running together.

I ran alongside a runner from Great Britain who jogged along at a very economical pace. Every 10kms there was a break for food and water, where we started chatting. His name was Rory Coleman a record-breaking runner, who’d had similar drinking issues to mine. We talked for the rest of the run sharing our life-stories.

When we arrived in Baden-Baden during the Christmas Market it was snowing. Most of the runners, including myself, had tears in their eyes (like I do now, writing this article). And in that moment, it became clear to me that I would never touch a drop of alcohol again. In a moment my fifteen years of fighting alcohol was over, and I’ve never looked back since. Up until then I’d always thought of quitting, but never had the mindset.

Since then, I’ve never had the urge to drink again.

That day changed my live completely. I disconnected from my drinking friends (including my drinking parents) and stopped squandering my money in bars. And although Rory and I have never met since in person, those few hours together changed my life. Today I received a congratulatory email marking twenty years of sobriety. 

Rory sends me one every 11th of December that says, ‘Well Done Ron’.

I now live a life of awareness, meditation, spirituality and Buddhism. I enjoy family-time with my young daughter still in my motorhome with two cats, a laptop and a small e-piano for company. My mission is to save people who are struggling with alcohol and depression, so I can repay my debt to Rory - the one person that helped me, and that can help you if you are struggling like I was back in 2004.

1,202 Marathons - 284 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - 31 Years' Sober

Don't stop believin' - Journey

Success is a ‘Journey’ not a ‘Destination’…

I often say that the ‘Road to Success’ is a ‘Journey’, especially when I’m speaking with new clients who are about to start working with me. The hard part is explaining, we’re not sure where the journey is going, what will happen along the way or how long the journey will actually take. 

Success can be a huge leap of faith!

 

You see, we all know that life comes with its highs and lows, and ups and downs, mixed up with a cocktail of people, throughout time - and somehow, we use this to determine our direction. And whether it’s the right or wrong direction, we tend to go with the flow and take on the world and everything it has to throw as us in a very ‘ad hoc’ kinda way. 

 

We learn as we go putting things right, adapting and recreating on the fly. I often wonder why? We don’t do this with other parts of our lives - I mean on a traditional family holiday we know the itinerary before we go. Knowing the flight, hotel and destination details well before we depart. Imagine going on holiday and just turning up at the airport and getting on the first plane? Similarly, how many times have you carried on regardless and not given much thought to what laid ahead.

 

Maybe it’s that easy life we are looking for? 

 

Being afraid of failure or upsetting those around us, provides an ideal excuse for not stepping through the ‘sliding doors of success’. I’m sure most of us has heard the famous Dolly Parton quote, ‘If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain’. And how right she is, as ‘Success’ I believe, comes at a cost. Let it rain! Let it POUR!

 

It’s just a question of how much you are prepared to pay. The price? Well that can be financial of course but also there’s a physical and psychological cost to pay too. What or who are you prepared to give up, to achieve your goal. For some the financial cost is a simple pay/no-pay equation whereas if your partner isn’t prepared to travel with you on your journey – then you might have to leave them behind. It sounds callus but I encounter that situation with many people seeking a more successful life.

 

Having paid the price a few times myself, I’ve learned that ‘Conversation’ makes the ideal accompaniment for any ‘Journey to Success’. A clear direction with clear directives aimed at those around you, will help your progress no end. There are enough barriers to negotiate without adding extra miles of egg-shell walking with loved or not so loved one. It’s a good test.

 

I often think the journey to the Marathon des Sables delivers more than the race itself. What one can learn in 12 months prior to the race against 12 days of the race is beyond comparison, and if you are going next April or trying to climb your own Mount Everest in the near future, enjoy the journey. 

 

It’s the best part.

1,202 Marathons - 284 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - 1 Life