Afterimage - Rush

This is something that just can't be understood - Peart

Sometimes things aren't what they seem, and magic is a perfect example of this - we see one thing but in fact we are being distracted by what we believe and have no perception of what is really happening right in front of our eyes.

Well, it might not come as a surprise, but it happens all the time in everyday life. At home, at work, every time we log on, and anytime we interact ask yourself, where am I being deceived?
 
The simple answer is, for someone else's gain. It's easy to be stroked as I call it, and over the years I've gotten pretty good at reading situations and noticing where I'm being scammed. Not in a massive money laundering type kind way, just where I’m being played.
 
Now, I'm not writing this out of anger or betrayal I'm just saying watch out as your generosity and goodwill might just be taken in plain sight whilst in reality, you are being manipulated by those you trust.
 
So, see if you can spot a traitor in the midst of your faithful’s as they do exist and funnily enough might even be working together. Believe me, the folk nearest to you might just be wearing a Traitor’s cloak.

1,234 Marathons - 290 Ultras - 18 MDS - 10 MDS - Faithful or Traitor?

Double Vision - Foreigner

Start today before it's too late...

There are many reasons to embrace sobriety - health concerns, personal growth aspirations, or the sheer embarrassment of always getting drunk and messing up are just a few. And if you do decide to go 0%, you’ll find the impact on your life extends far beyond the state of being abstinent.

At its core, sobriety embodies a commitment of self-care and well-being. It represents a conscious choice to prioritise mental clarity, emotional stability, and physical health over the fleeting euphoria that alcohol can bring. However, achieving and maintaining sobriety is seldom a straightforward path. It requires unwavering dedication, support, and resilience to navigate the daily challenges life throws at us, and the many temptations that will be encountered along the way.

 

For many individuals, the journey towards sobriety begins with a moment of awakening - it did for me. A realisation of the destructive patterns and consequences associated with booze. Whether sparked by a personal crisis, a wake-up call from loved ones, or a rock-bottom experience, this moment of clarity serves as a catalyst for change. It ignites a desire for a better life and sets the stage for embarking on the arduous yet rewarding path of recovery.

 

The early stages of sobriety are often characterised by withdrawal symptoms, cravings, and emotional upheaval as the body and mind adjust to an alcohol-free life. This phase can be daunting and overwhelming, testing one's resolve and resilience. However, with the right support system in place, including therapy, peer groups, and working with a sponsor or coach, individuals can gradually navigate through the turbulence of withdrawal and begin to reclaim control over their lives. 

 

I had a feeling of euphoria during this period of my own recovery.

 

Central to the process of sobriety is self-reflection and introspection. Beyond addressing the physical dependence, it entails confronting the underlying issues and emotions that fuelled the cycle of addiction. Whether rooted in trauma, unresolved grief, low self-esteem, and mental health issues, these underlying factors must be acknowledged and addressed to aid lasting recovery.

 

Therapeutic techniques such as Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and mindfulness-based practices offer invaluable tools for exploring coping mechanisms and behaviours. By gaining insight into the root causes of addiction and developing healthier coping strategies, individuals can cultivate resilience and empower themselves to navigate life's challenges without resorting to drinking.

 

Moreover, sobriety entails a holistic lifestyle upgrade encompassing physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. This often involves adopting healthier habits such as regular exercise, nutritious eating, adequate sleep, and stress management techniques. Engaging in meaningful activities, hobbies, and social connections can also provide a sense of purpose, fulfilment, and belonging that counteracts the void left by intoxication.

 

One of the most profound aspects of sobriety is the restoration of self-empowerment. As individuals shed the shackles of addiction and reclaim control of their lives, they rediscover their inherent worth, values, and aspirations. This newfound sense of self-awareness and integrity serves as a guiding light, empowering them to make conscious choices aligned with their goal of living a better existence.

 

Through the trials and tribulations of recovery, individuals develop resilience, humility, and empathy. They confront their limitations and vulnerabilities head-on, emerging stronger, wiser, and more compassionate in the process. 

 

The ripple effects of sobriety extend far beyond the individual journey, and profoundly impacts relationships, families, and communities. As individuals heal and reclaim their lives, they inspire hope and serve as beacons of hope for others struggling with addiction. By sharing their stories, offering support, and advocating for awareness and resources, they contribute to a culture of compassion, acceptance, and recovery.

 

In essence, sobriety is a testament to the human spirit's capacity for resilience, growth, and transformation. It’s a journey marked by courage, humility, and perseverance - a journey of reclaiming one's life, one sober day at a time, and whilst the path may be fraught with challenges and setbacks, the rewards of sobriety, inner peace, and a renewed zest for life are immeasurable.

 

I know – A There are many reasons to embrace sobriety. Health concerns, personal growth aspirations, and the sheer embarrassment of always getting drunk and messing up are just a few. And if you do decide to go 0%, you’ll find the impact on your life extends far beyond the state of being abstinent.

 

At its core, sobriety embodies a commitment to self-care and well-being. It represents a conscious choice to prioritise mental clarity, emotional stability, and physical health over the fleeting euphoria that alcohol brings. However, achieving and maintaining sobriety is seldom a straightforward path. It requires unwavering dedication, support, and resilience to navigate the daily challenges life throws at us and the many temptations that will be encountered along the way.

 

For many individuals, the journey toward sobriety begins with a moment of awakening, it did for me. A realisation of the destructive patterns and consequences associated with booze. Whether sparked by a personal crisis, a wake-up call from loved ones, or a rock-bottom experience, this moment of clarity serves as a catalyst for change. It ignites a desire for a better life and sets the stage for embarking on the arduous yet rewarding path of recovery.

 

The early stages of sobriety are often characterised by withdrawal symptoms, cravings, and emotional upheaval as the body and mind adjust to an alcohol-free life. This phase can be daunting and overwhelming, testing one's resolve and resilience. However, with the right support system in place, including therapy, peer groups, and working with a sponsor or coach, individuals can gradually navigate through the turbulence of withdrawal and begin to reclaim control over their lives. I had a feeling of euphoria during this period of my own recovery.

 

Central to the process of sobriety is self-reflection and introspection. Beyond addressing the physical dependence, it entails confronting the underlying issues and emotions that fuelled the cycle of addiction. Whether rooted in trauma, unresolved grief, low self-esteem, and mental health issues, these underlying factors must be acknowledged and addressed to foster lasting recovery.

 

Therapeutic modalities such as Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and mindfulness-based practices offer invaluable tools for exploring coping mechanisms and behaviours. By gaining insight into the root causes of addiction and developing healthier coping strategies, individuals can cultivate resilience and empower themselves to navigate life's challenges without resorting to drinking.

 

Moreover, sobriety entails a holistic lifestyle overhaul encompassing physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. This often involves adopting healthier habits such as regular exercise, nutritious eating, adequate sleep, and stress management techniques. Engaging in meaningful activities, hobbies, and social connections can also provide a sense of purpose, fulfilment, and belonging that counteracts the void left by intoxication.

 

One of the most profound aspects of sobriety is the restoration of self-empowerment. As individuals shed the shackles of addiction and reclaim control of their lives, they rediscover their inherent worth, values, and aspirations. This newfound sense of self-awareness and integrity serves as a guiding light, empowering them to make conscious choices aligned with their goal of living a better existence.

 

Through the trials and tribulations of recovery, individuals develop resilience, humility, and empathy. They confront their limitations and vulnerabilities head-on, emerging stronger, wiser, and more compassionate in the process. 

 

The ripple effects of sobriety extend far beyond the individual journey, profoundly impacting relationships, families, and communities. As individuals heal and reclaim their lives, they inspire hope and serve as beacons of possibility for others struggling with addiction. By sharing their stories, offering support, and advocating for awareness and resources, they contribute to a culture of compassion, acceptance, and recovery.

 

In essence, sobriety is a testament to the human spirit's capacity for resilience, growth, and transformation. It’s a journey marked by courage, humility, and perseverance - a journey of reclaiming one's life, one sober day at a time and whilst the path may be fraught with challenges and setbacks, the rewards of sobriety, inner peace, and a renewed zest for life are immeasurable. 

 

I know - Amen.

And if you'd like to go on a Journey of Sobriety with me - email rory@colemancoaching.co.uk and we can work on rebuilding a life worth living.

1,230 Marathons - 280 Ultras - 18 MDS - 10 GWR - 11,646 Days
 

The Game - Queen

Life often feels like a game, but what many people overlook is that everyone is playing by their own rules - not yours. This is one of the most frustrating truths of human existence. You see, every person carries their own definition of success, their own strategies, and their own scoreboard. You might be chasing wealth, someone else is chasing peace, another person might be chasing chaos for the sheer hell of it. And this reality explains how much conflict, confusion, and disappointment we experience when we expect others to act according to the rules that we’ve chosen for ourselves.

From childhood, we are taught a certain set of ‘rules - go to school, get good exam results, respect authority, work hard and be kind to others. These become the default guidelines many of us try to follow. But as we grow older, we discover that the not everyone valued school. They might have rejected authority, chased risk, or found meaning in ways that seem reckless to us. It can make you angry when someone disregards what you think is right, or it can make you jealous when they succeed whilst breaking all the rules that you’ve dutifully been following.

The truth is, there are no universal rules. There are laws we agree upon so society can function, but beyond these, most of what we consider ‘rules’ are just personal preferences. When you expect others to play by your rules, you set yourself up for constant disappointment. People don’t owe you alignment with your values. They owe you respect, maybe, but not obedience. The quicker you realise this, the freer you’ll become and instead of resenting others for playing differently, you can focus on redefining your own game.

This doesn’t mean life has to become chaotic. In fact, it can make life more interesting. Once you stop insisting that everyone thinks like you, you can observe the wide variety of strategies people use. People pursue happiness, wealth, power, and love. There’s wisdom to be gained from each approach, even if you don’t adopt them yourself. You can learn from someone else’s boldness or someone else’s patience without abandoning your own principles.

Ultimately, life’s ‘game’ isn’t about winning. It’s about defining what winning even means for you. If you spend your energy trying to make others see things your way, you’ll lose sight of your own progress. The people who thrive are those who understand that others are playing by different rules and can adjust their expectations accordingly. Instead of trying to control the game, they’ve learnt to play their own version with clarity and purpose.

So, the next time someone makes a move that seems unfair, reckless, or even foolish by your standards, remember - they’re not playing your game. They’re playing theirs. Lesson learned - Amen.

1,224 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 18 Marathon des Sables - Playing by the rules

Going Backwards - Depeche Mode

Why looking backwards matters

When we think about journeys, our mind jumps forwards to - the destination, the next step, the horizon. The language of progression is almost entirely forward-facing – ‘keep going,’ ‘move on,’ ‘you’re nearly there.’ Yet history, human psychology, and plain common sense tells us that sometimes the most important thing you can do while moving forwards…is to pause and look back.

Looking backwards is not the same as getting stuck in the past. Done well, it is reflection - the art of using your past experiences for insight, learning, and perspective is aa essential to growth as oxygen is to life. Without it, we risk walking in circles or missing the meaning in our own existence.

Navigation requires landmarks

If you’ve ever navigated in an unfamiliar landscape, you’ll know what I mean - you move forwards, spotting a tree or a rock formation as a marker. But those that are more experienced will also turnaround from time to time, to look at the trail from the opposite direction. Why? Because you’ll need to know the way back and landscapes look a lot different in reverse.

This metaphor extends beautifully into life’s journey:-

• In careers, looking back at where you started can keep you grounded and help you notice whether your current career path aligns with your original motivation
• In relationships, reflection helps you see patterns - both the ones you want to repeat and the ones you want to break.

If you never glance backwards, you risk becoming disoriented, forgetting where you came from, and lose the ability to recognise when and where you’ve gone off track.

Reflection turns experience into wisdom

Experience alone does not guarantee growth. People can repeat the same mistakes for decades without learning a thing - unless they pause and reflect.

Looking backwards allows you to:-

• Identify what worked well and why
• Recognise mistakes without self-punishment
• See how challenges shaped your resilience.

Think of life as a laboratory - you run experiments (actions), gather data (results), and then… you analyse. If you skip the analysis phase, you might as well be working in the dark. Looking back is the analysis - the stage where raw experience transforms into usable knowledge.

Gratitude is backwards facing

Gratitude is one of the most powerful emotional tools we have for maintaining happiness, and it’s inherently retrospective as you can’t be grateful for something you haven’t yet experienced.

When you look backwards on your journey:-

• You see how far you’ve come
• You notice the small victories that were invisible whilst you were in the struggle
• You remember the people who helped you along the way.

Without those backward glances, your sense of progress can flatten out, leaving you feeling like you’re endlessly climbing with no summit in sight.

The danger of purely forward obsession

Forward-only thinking carries risks:-

• Burnout: If you never stop to reflect, every achievement feels like just another box ticked before the next goal. There’s no celebration, only constant striving
• Narrowed vision: You might get so fixated on your next milestone that you fail to see better opportunities emerging behind you - ones that require looping back
• Reinforcing mistakes: Without looking back to evaluate, you might keep using strategies that don’t work simply because you haven’t paused to question them.

Life isn’t a high-speed train where the only acceptable view is through the front window.

Memory as a compass

Memory isn’t just a storage system - it’s a compass.

When you reflect on your past, you remember:-

• Your original motivations and values
• The promises you made to yourself
• The lessons you’ve already paid for in time, money, or heartache.

This is critical for course correction. Imagine you set out to sail toward a distant island, but months later, you find yourself adrift. Without looking back to your original coordinates, you have no way of knowing how far you’ve strayed - or whether you’re even still headed in the right ocean.

The role of storytelling

Humans are storytelling creatures. We make meaning by connecting events into narratives. Looking backwards is how we piece together those narratives:-

• We identify turning points - moments that changed everything.
• We recognise recurring themes - patterns in our choices and outcomes
• We see character development in our own transformation over time.

Without looking back, we live fragmentally, reacting moment-to-moment without ever understanding the arc of our journey.

The emotional calibration point

Our emotional state often depends less on where we are and more on where we think we are relative to where we started.

Looking back can provide two essential kinds of calibration:-

• Relief and pride - when you see you’ve made significant progress
• Reality checks - when you notice you’re repeating old cycles.

Both are valuable. They either boost your confidence or alert you to make more changes.

Examples from history and nature

• History: Civilisations that study their own past avoid repeating catastrophic mistakes; those that ignore history often relive them
• Nature: Migratory animals rely on memory of past routes. Even when instinct drives them forward, their path is shaped by the patterns of previous journeys
• Art and Science: Innovation often comes from revisiting older ideas and viewing them from a new angle, rather than discarding them entirely.

Looking Back Without Getting Stuck

Of course, there’s a balance. Too much backward focus can trap you in nostalgia or regret. The key is to treat looking back like checking your mirrors whilst driving:

• Do it regularly
• Use the information to navigate wisely
• Then return your gaze forwards, informed but not imprisoned by the past.

A Practical Framework for Backward Looking

Here’s a simple approach you can apply to any kind of journey:-

1.   Pause: Create intentional moments for reflection (weekly, monthly, yearly)

2.   Review: Ask yourself, ‘What have I learned? What worked? What didn’t?’

3.   Acknowledge: Celebrate wins and name your helpers

4.   Extract: Identify specific lessons you can use going forwards

5.   Integrate: Adjust your plans with those lessons in mind

6.   Release: Let go of what no longer serves you and continue onwards.

The Spiritual Dimension

Many philosophies and religions emphasise looking backwards as part of growth:-

• In Buddhism, reflection on past actions helps cultivate mindfulness and compassion
• In Christianity, remembering past deliverances is a source of faith for future trials
• In Stoicism, reviewing the day’s events is a daily practice for improving character.

This isn’t just sentimentality; it’s a disciplined way of aligning your present with your deeper values. 

The ultimate reason - Identity

Perhaps the most profound reason to look backwards is that it’s the only way to know who you are.

You are not defined only by your goals or current circumstances - you are a continuity of experiences, decisions, triumphs, and mistakes. Looking back lets you:-

• See the bassline in your life
• Understand your resilience
• Appreciate that your current self is the product of many former selves who fought to get you here.

Without that awareness, your journey becomes a blur - just motion, without meaning.

Onwards travel

A journey without backward glances is like reading a book by only turning forward, never flipping back to recall a character’s name or a crucial detail. You might reach the end faster, but you’ll miss the richness of the story. Looking back is not a distraction from progress - it’s part of how we make progress real. It transforms movement into growth, destinations into stories, and milestones into meaning.

1,220 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 18 MDS - 9 GWR - 1 Direction

Diary of a Madman - Ozzy Osbourne

Old School...

When I started running, back in 1994, we didn't have Garmin or Strava to keep our running records and deliver data - we kept a 'Running Log' - a kinda daily diary where one's runs and times were noted along with a simple mood icon and a small space for comments.

I updated it religiously, as my running experience and fresh PBs were set, and then beaten, sometimes on a daily basis. Back in those days a simple 'Timex Ironman' watch measured times and string on an OS Map or driving the route guesstimated the distances one ran.

 

Sadly, for the 'Running Log' its days became numbered as the world went digital and distances and routes were logged online - but looking at my 1994 volume it's interesting to see where I'd run and what distances I covered all those years’ ago.

 

You see this was pre-first marathon for me, and this current bout of nostalgia came from having a spare half-hour or so, in my old home town of Stratford-upon-Avon earlier this week

 

I thought it would be interesting to run one of my first running routes of 3.1* miles noted as 'Cross 'O the Hill' in the log. A route that was in fact my school’s old Cross-Country course. (No health and safety in 1973 with road crossings etc. btw). Anyway, I thought I'd run it just as I used to in 1994 - as fast as I could possibly go.

 

And looking back I see a couple of entries in April '94 as 26.05 mins and 25.13 mins yet by September '94 I'd managed to get it down to 21.25 mins - not too shabby for my first year of running at 32 years of age - nearly half of my current 63. 

 

So how did it go?

 

Well, it wasn't as bad as I thought, and 24.43 mins was a fair result - not bad considering all the running my old body has done since way back then.

 

What did happen is that I really enjoyed running this route just as much as I did all those years ago. I felt grateful that after all that’s happened to me, after all of life's twists and turns that have come my way, I still love running and the life running has given me.

 

You see sometimes we overcomplicate life and instead of enjoying ourselves at what we love to do, things can become an onerous task - I often say 'When the fun stops - stop'.

 

Luckily for me, the fun is still there - the feelings of joy, love and satisfaction are overwhelming at times, and I urge you, if you are looking for a constant in this ever-changing world of ours, go out as often as possible and make running a part of your world. Enjoy the freedom it brings and the people that come your way. I love that.

 

It's been a constant in my world for 32 years now and I wonder if I will still be able to run my 'Cross 'O the Hill' route in ten or twenty-years’ time. I do hope so.

Until then, I’m going to carry on in my crazy world of running and if I’m lucky enough to with you we can enjoy what running can bring together.

1,220 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 9 Guinness World Records - 18 Marathon des Sables 

Shine - Years and Years

'Sometimes the world is wrong and you're not. And if you don't fit in somewhere, go find another place to shine'.

 

I love that quote you see as I've always found teamwork hard, yet at heart I know doing things as part of a team makes things a whole lot easier. The adage, 'There's no 'I' in team' comes to mind yet I know how difficult it can be if you see things differently to everyone else. A lot of the time I see things differently.

 

I mean, what do you do? Go with the flow and keep your opinions to yourself even though you know the outcome isn't promising? Or do you alienate yourself and become the person everyone loves to hate. Maybe at one point in your career you've experienced this equation and learned to temper your opinions and gone for the simpler and safer option to pipe down.

 

You see it's far too easy to go with the flow; to join in with the crowd and disappear into its camouflage. The camouflage that exists to cover over our thoughts and opinions. It’s so average IMHO.

 

Well, my Team doesn't work like that, and sure in the beginning it was just me standing out from the world around me like a proverbial sore thumb. I didn't care though as I knew my own direction and where I wanted to go and I decided that if people wanted to go with me, then so be it - and if they didn’t, they weren’t part of my team.

 

And if your world right now, isn't the right place and the team you're in isn't playing your way - find another and be thankful that you’ve had a lucky escape.

 

Remember it’s your life and your time to shine my friends.

1,217 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 18 MDS - 9 GWR - 1 Life