In a world that’s constantly shifting with trends, technology, and social pressures, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters. Many people live their lives according to values they’ve inherited or have unconsciously accepted rather than intentionally chosen. Over time, these borrowed values have created tension, dissatisfaction, and a sense of disconnection from one’s inner self. This is when resetting one’s values becomes essential.
Resetting one’s values is the conscious process of reassessing in what you believe, what you prioritise, and how you want to live. It’s about peeling away the layers of assumption, expectation, and habit to reconnect with your most authentic self. It’s not about becoming a new person; it’s about returning to the person you were always meant to be.
Why reset your values?
First, it’s important to understand why resetting your values might be necessary. Life transitions often trigger that need. Starting a new career, ending a relationship, moving to a new place, or facing a health crisis make for a perfect value reset opportunity. But sometimes, the feeling is more subtle. It could be a persistent feeling of restlessness, or a low-grade self-dissatisfaction that no amount of achievement or sensory overload (addiction) can fix.
Values that once served you right, might no longer fit your current life structure. You may have valued ambition in your twenties, chasing career success at all costs, but now in your forties or fifties, find yourself craving balance, community, and inner peace.
If your values are outdated or misaligned, you’ll understand what I mean as right now, you might be feeling:-
- Burnt out and exhausted
- Chronically dissatisfisfied
- Feeling empty
- A lack of meaning or purpose
- A disconnection from your passions and dreams.
How to reset your values
Resetting your values isn’t something you do once and then it’s permanently fixed. It’s a living, breathing practice. Here’s a framework to guide you through the process:-
Reflect on your current values
Start by examining the values you currently live by. Ask yourself:-
- What drives my daily decisions?
- What am I willing to sacrifice?
- Where do I spend most of my time and energy?
Identify what feels misaligned
Next, take a hard look at your life and identify where your current values may be out of sync with your desired life. Some examples:-
- You value family but spend 80+ hours a week at work
- You value creativity but haven’t been in years
- You value honesty but often find yourself people-pleasing to avoid conflict.
Imagine a version of yourself who feels fully alive, peaceful, and fulfilled. What values would that version of you have? Such qualities are:-
- Courage
- Compassion
- Freedom
- Joy
- Growth
- Connection
- Simplicity.
Choose your new core values
From your reflections, select 5–7 core values that will serve as your foundation moving forwards. Keep them simple and memorable. These are the values you’ll build your choices, habits, and relationships on.
When choosing, focus on how you want to feel and who you want to become, not just what you want to achieve. Values are about being, not just doing.
Define what each value looks like in action
A value is only meaningful if it’s actionable. Otherwise, it will stay unfulfilled. Define what living each value looks like day-to-day. For example:-
- If you value health, it might mean cooking more nutritious food, being more active, and setting healthy boundaries at work
- If you value freedom, it might mean creating financial security, saying ‘NO’ more often, and designing more-flexible working hours.
Align your life with your values
Now comes the hard part - realignment. This requires some difficult choices. You may need to let go of commitments, relationships, or habits that conflict with your new values.
Realignment isn’t about drastic overnight changes. It’s about small, steady adjustments. One decision at a time, one conversation at a time and you’ll start to create a life that reflects your true self.
Ask yourself regularly:-
- Does this decision reflect my core values?
- Is this opportunity in alignment with the life I want to live?
Challenges you might face
Resetting your values can feel liberating, but it’s not without resistance. Expect pushback:-
Living a values-aligned life
Once you reset your values, your life doesn’t magically become perfect, but it does become more yours. Decisions become clearer. Inner conflict lessens. Joy, even during difficult times, becomes more accessible because you know you’re living a better life.
You’ll show more authentically in your relationships. You’ll inspire others to search for their own truths. You’ll contribute to a world that is not just successful, but meaningful.
Resetting your values is not about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you are, and living with courage, grace, and joy.
- Fear of Change: Our brains crave familiarity. Even toxic patterns can feel ‘safe’ because they are known
- External Pressure: Family, friends, and society might not understand your shift, especially if it disrupts the status quo
- Self-Doubt: You may question whether you’re ‘allowed’ to prioritise your happiness or authenticity.
Living a values-aligned life
Once you reset your values, your life doesn’t magically become perfect, but it does become more yours. Decisions become clearer. Inner conflict lessens. Joy, even during difficult times, becomes more accessible because you know you’re living a better life.
You’ll show more authentically in your relationships. You’ll inspire others to search for their own truths. You’ll contribute to a world that is not just successful, but meaningful.
Resetting your values is not about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you are, and living with courage, grace, and joy.
1,215 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 9 GWR - 18 Marathon des Sables - One Life
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