Mistaken Identity - Kim Carnes

The price of aspiration

Changing your lifestyle, is more than just purchasing products or things. It’s more about health, image, status, and identity. It’s not about owning a pair of designer shoes or driving a sports car, it’s about embracing a fresh set of life values.

Lifestyle mechanics

Your lifestyle encompasses the way you live. Your habits, your interests, activities, attitudes, and values. It reflects what you prioritise and how you wish to be perceived. And often you’ll be drawn to people you admire and wish to be like.

Brands recognise the power of lifestyle marketing. Companies like Apple, doesn’t just sell phones; it sells sleek minimalism, creativity, and innovation. It’s all about being connected. Consumers don’t just buy a product; they buy a piece of a lifestyle, hoping to signal to themselves and others who they are, or who they wish to be.

Lifestyle psychology

Why do people buy into a lifestyle? It’s about identity. We humans are social creatures with an inbuilt desire for belonging, status, and self-expression. Lifestyle brands tap into these needs by offering symbols that communicate such markers. A Rolex watch, for example, may signify not just wealth but also sophistication and success.

Psychologists suggest that aspirational spending (the tendency to buy goods that reflect an idealised version of yourself) can be driven by self-discrepancy. People perceive a gap between their actual self and their ideal self, and spending becomes a bridge to close that gap.

When we feel insecure about our social standing, appearance, or achievements, and purchasing something associated with the lifestyle we admire can temporarily soothe those anxieties. Hence, we feel more confident and more ‘ourselves’.

This is compounded by social media, where images of lifestyles are constantly featured. Instagram influencers, YouTubers, and TikTok creators portray a perfect life filled with luxury travel, flashy clothes, and designer homes. Viewers are bombarded with videos suggesting that happiness, success, and social acceptance are only attainable if they buy into the right lifestyle.

The financial costs

Buying into a lifestyle doesn’t come cheaply, both financially and emotionally. Many people find themselves trapped in a cycle of aspirational spending, purchasing goods and experiences that stretch their budgets in order to project the perfect image. Credit card debt, financial stress, and dissatisfaction follows. You can accumulate designer handbags, gadgets, and an expensive gym membership, but if these purchases aren’t aligned with their true value, the results lack value.

Moreover, lifestyle purchasing can perpetuate feelings of inadequacy. No matter how many symbols of success one can accumulate, the ideal lifestyle always remains tantalisingly out of reach. There’s always a newer model, a trendier style, and a more exclusive club to join.

This cycle erodes self-esteem and mental well-being. We become trapped in a game of comparison, constantly seeking external validation through material symbols.

So, how can we navigate the allure of buying into a lifestyle without falling into its many traps? One approach is to adopt making choices aligned with your personal values, needs, and long-term goals rather than succumbing to external pressures or fleeting desires.

Potential consumers should ask themselves questions like:

• Will this purchase align with my core values?
• Am I buying this to fulfil a genuine need, or to impress others?
• Can I afford this without compromising my financial situation?
• Will this truly enhance my life, or will it quickly lose its appeal?

Buying into a lifestyle is a powerful concept shaped by personal aspirations and psychological dynamics. It reflects a desire to align one’s external identity with an internal ideal, to bridge the gap between reality and wishes. Whilst lifestyle consumerism offers moments of confidence and belonging, it often comes at a price.

And rather than being swept along by aspirational marketing and social media illusions, we can make a lifestyle that authentically reflects who we really are, without succumbing to the pressure of buying an identity.

Your own identity and one that comes from true fulfilment and not from the accumulation of status symbols.

A lifestyle for Life

1,217 Marathon - 289 Ultras - 9 GWR - 18 MDS - 1 Life

Push It - Salt-N-Pepa

For people like me (60+), maintaining physical activity is an essential part of a healthy anti-aging process. However, there’s growing interest in the implications of extreme exercise in one’s later years. Does high-intensity training or excessive endurance events, in fact prematurely age the body? Whilst moderate physical activity is universally recommended for us older people, the potential benefits and risks of extreme exercise can in fact be detrimental if we’re not careful.

Here are some facts about the benefits of exercise on the aging body. These benefits are well documented across all age groups and for people over 60 and consistent moderate exercise helps:-

• Preserve muscle mass and bone density reducing the risk of osteoporosis
• Enhances cardiovascular health, lowering blood pressure and improving circulation
• Supports metabolic function, reducing the risk of diabetes
• Promotes mental well-being, allaying depression and cognitive decline.

Well, that’s great and given these advantages, moderate exercise is a great way of combating the aging decline. However, what happens if we pursue extreme forms of exercise.

The physiological challenges of ageing

Sadly, after age 60, the body undergoes several age-related changes:-

• Reduced elasticity of blood vessels and heart muscle, potentially increasing cardiovascular strain
• Reduced bone density and joint integrity, raising the risk of fractures and osteoarthritis
• Decreased recovery capacity due to slower cellular repair and hormonal shifts
• Loss of muscle mass, making high-intensity activities more challenging.

These physiological changes mean that while exercise remains beneficial, the tolerance for extreme physical stress may diminish with age – kinda rubbish ain’t it.

Potential risks of extreme exercise

Engaging in extreme exercise, such as the odd Ultra or  high-intensity interval training without adequate rest, or weight-training, may introduce several risks:-

• Cardiovascular events - Sudden cardiac arrest or arrhythmias are rare but potentially catastrophic during extreme endurance events, particularly in older individuals with undiagnosed heart conditions
• Musculoskeletal injuries - High-impact or repetitive stress can exacerbate age-related joint degeneration, leading to conditions like tendinopathy, stress fractures, or severe arthritis
• Immune suppression - Prolonged intense exercise can temporarily impair immune function, increasing susceptibility to infections or rare syndromes
• Overtraining and fatigue - Excessive exercise without proper recovery may lead to chronic fatigue, sleep disturbances, and hormonal imbalances, undermining overall health.

Striking the right balance

Whilst extreme exercise poses potential risks, it’s crucial not to confuse these with the proven benefits of regular, moderate activity. Many older athletes continue to perform at high levels, but they do so with careful planning, medical guidance, whilst listening to their bodies. Strategies to exercise safely over 60 include:-

• Medical evaluation before beginning or escalating training intensity
• Gradual progression rather than sudden increases in volume or intensity
• Adequate rest and recovery, with attention to sleep, hydration, and nutrition
• Cross-training and strength work to support joints and bones
• Being mindful of symptoms, including chest pain, dizziness, or persistent fatigue. 

So be careful my ageing friends

For individuals over 60, exercise is an essential part of a healthy life, supporting physical, mental, and emotional well-being. However, whilst extreme exercise may offer personal fulfilment or competitive achievement, it also carries potential risks that must be weighed against its benefits.

At 63, I’m going to carry on doing what I can, when I can, until I can’t do it any longer. And when that day comes, I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing I gave it my best shot and made the most of what I had at that moment in time. I mean what’s the point looking back and saying, ‘If only’. Which could mean ‘If only I’d’ as well as ‘If only I hadn’t’.

How’s your body holding up and what are you doing to stop the inevitable corrosion?

1,217 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 9 GWR - 18 MDS - 206 Bones - 1 Body 

Simply the Best - Tina Turner

On speaking to prospective clients, I love to say I'll help them find the ‘best’ version of themselves. But is that actually what I mean? Sure, some will go from the deepest of depths to huge personal triumphs - but in reality, maybe it's more realistic to say I’ll help them to find a 'better' version of themselves instead.

However is, ‘better’ a good enough goal? I mean who doesn't want to be healthier, wealthier, more successful and more loved? 

 

There's nothing worse than feeling inadequate in any of the above areas, except possibly being told of those shortcomings by family members or so-called friends. Your own four walls, can be a tough environment and I find it hard to comprehend how badly treated some folk are by their nearest and dearest. 

 

Then again people are cruel aren't they?

 

So, maybe the root to a better lifestyle is to look at the people around you, the one’s you’ve chosen to surround yourself with. How do they affect how you see yourself? I’ve always been very selective, and the energy vampires of this world are literally the first thing to go into my Room 101. Best is if you have them, jettison and replace - it’s very satisfying process.

 

And it doesn't matter if that leaves you quite alone as it's better to be without then, I believe. There are 8 billion other people out there that might be a better life support system.

 

Then when you find the right people it's a whole lot easier to tick off, wealth, career and personal goals fresh in the mind that the unsupportive scorn and derision you once relied on, has been left far behind.

 

Now with that in mind, are you looking for the ‘Best’ version or a ‘Better’ version of yourself - you decide, and I'm happy to have that first conversation of a new life with you.

1,216 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 9 GWR - 18 MDS - 1 Life

Feeling a Moment - Feeder

We are often told to ‘live the moment’, to focus our attention on what’s happening right now, rather than dwell on the past or worry about the future. I wonder if you doing that right now?

It’s tricky to say for sure in our constantly changing world full of distractions, deadlines, and digital notifications. The thing is if you can ‘feel the moment’, the results are really rewarding.

To be at one with your surroundings, emotions, thoughts, and actions without judgment or resistance involves being mentally and emotionally rooted in the ‘now,’ rather than mentally time-wading through memories or future predictions. It becomes a powerful antidote to stress, anxiety, and burnout.

You see, when we’re not distracted by regrets or what-ifs, we respond more thoughtfully to our circumstances. Simple things such as the warmth of the sun, the taste of good food, or the sound of children playing happily - these small but vivid experiences that often go unnoticed when our minds are elsewhere, can bring genuine happiness and peace.

Living in the now enhances relationships. By giving someone your full attention, listening without interrupting, observing without judging, you create space for better understanding being truly present shows respect and builds trust. Superficial communication becomes meaningful engagement.

However, living the moment does not mean ignoring the past or future. Reflection and planning have their place. It’s all about balance - learning from the past, planning for the future, but living in the present. And instead of imagining worst-case scenarios or reliving old disappointments, we can focus on what is within our control right now.

Living the moment is not about perfection it’s about being aware whenever the mind wanders - it’s a skill that improves with practice. By embracing the now, we build resilience to face life’s uncertainties when they happen.

In a culture that often glorifies being super-busy, choosing to live the moment, can feel quite rebellious but then again, it’s your life, your world, and you can choose how to live it. I mean, these moments are yours and yours to spend how you wish. Spend wisely and my advice is to live every moment like it’s your last. Amen.

1,216 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 18 MDS - 9 GWR -  1 Life

I don't remember - Sir Peter of Gabriel

I like to think I have a good memory, in fact on certain topics, even a photographic recollection of what I’ve seen. Numbers, places and faces have been burnt into my memory banks. I can recall the number plate from my driving test back in 1986 – LWD 345V – there I told you and Mrs Jackson the examiner and the date, and my driving license number even. I always say that whilst we are on this planet, we are making memories.

You see, memory is one of the most fascinating and essential aspects of human cognition. It shapes who we are, influences our decisions, and enables us to negotiate daily life. Despite its importance, human memory is fallible. In fact, it is highly selective, malleable, and prone to error. Whilst we often assume our memories are accurate reflections of the past, research shows that they are more like reconstructions, subject to biases, gaps, and reinterpretation. So, how good are we at remembering?

I believe I’m pretty good but am I really? 

Well, the answer is complex and depends on various factors, including the type of memory, the context, and emotional involvement.

Types of memory

To understand our ability to remember, it’s important to consider the different types of memory. Broadly, psychologists divide memory into three main types: sensory memory, short-term memory (STM), and long-term memory (LTM).

• Sensory memory holds information for a very brief period, fractions of a second. For instance, the image of a face you pass on the street is held here momentarily before it’s either discarded or transferred to short-term memory. I have my own built-in facial recognition, don’t you? I always believe I know if I’ve met someone previously.
• Short-term memory allows us to retain information for seconds to a minute with a capacity of about five to nine items. Hmm, I’m not so sure about this one!
• Long-term memory stores vast amounts of information over long durations, from minutes to a lifetime – my speciality I’d say.

Our ability to remember differs vastly depending on which of these systems is in use. While we can store an impressive amount of information in long-term memory, short-term memory is notably limited and fragile.

The reliability of memory

One of the most revealing insights from modern psychology is that memory is not a perfect recording device. Instead, it is reconstructive. Each time we recall a memory, we essentially recreate it, filling in gaps with plausible details, influenced by our current emotions and knowledge.

Our memories can be implanted or manipulated. In some cases, people have been led to ‘remember’ entire events that never happened. This malleability is a stark reminder that memory is less about storing static data and more about active construction.

Forgetting

Forgetting is often seen as a flaw of memory, but it plays a vital role in cognitive functioning. If we remembered everything, our brains would be overwhelmed with irrelevant details. Forgetting allows us to prioritise information and focus on what matters.

Forgetting occurs for various reasons:

• Decay, where memory traces fade over time
• Interference, where other memories disrupt the retrieval of specific information
• Retrieval failure, where a memory exists but can’t be accessed at a given moment.

Although forgetting can be frustrating, it reflects the brain’s strategy of efficient information management.

Emotion and memory

Emotion plays a powerful role in memory retention. Emotionally charged events are often remembered more vividly and for longer periods. This is why we remember where we were during significant events, such as a national tragedy or a personal milestone.

However, emotional memories can also be distorted. Trauma, for example, can alter the way memories are encoded and recalled. In some cases, people may suppress traumatic memories, while others may experience intrusive recollections, as seen in PTSD. The role of emotion complicates the question of memory reliability, even when the memory feels ‘real.’

Techniques to improve memory

Despite our natural limitations, there are ways to improve memory. Cognitive strategies, lifestyle choices, and technologies can all support better recall.

• Mnemonics: Devices like acronyms, rhymes, or visualization can make information more memorable – can you remember SOHCAHTOA from your school days?
• Chunking: Grouping information into meaningful units (like phone number patterns) enhances short-term memory capacity
• Spaced repetition: Reviewing information over increasing intervals of time improves long-term retention
• Healthy lifestyle: Sleep, exercise, and a balanced diet are all crucial for optimal memory performance
• Mindfulness and meditation: These practices improve focus and reduce stress, both of which enhance memory.

In addition, digital tools like reminders, calendars, and note-taking apps can serve as external memory aids, reducing the cognitive load on our brains.

Age

Age is another significant factor. As we age, memory, particularly working and episodic memory, tends to decline. However, semantic memory (knowledge of facts) often remains stable or even improves with age. Additionally, individuals vary in their memory skills due to genetics, personality, and life experiences.

Future memory

As we increasingly rely on digital devices to supplement memory, questions arise about the long-term effects. While ‘outsourcing’ memory to technology (like GPS for navigation or Google for facts) can increase efficiency, it may also reduce our reliance on internal memory processes.

Emerging technologies such as neural implants and AI-assisted memory tools raise further possibilities, and ethical questions, about how we might enhance memory in the future. Could we eventually ‘download’ knowledge or access memories on demand? Who knows?

Anyway, we are capable of recalling vast amounts of information and rather than thinking of memory as a fixed storage system, it is better understood as a dynamic, reconstructive process influenced by countless factors.

We may not be perfect at remembering, but we are adaptable. By understanding how memory works and employing strategies to support it, we can improve our recall, reduce errors, and continue evolving our relationship with memory in an increasingly digital world.

1,216 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 18 MDS Legendary - 9 GWR - 1 Life