The Game - Queen

Life often feels like a game, but what many people overlook is that everyone is playing by their own rules - not yours. This is one of the most frustrating truths of human existence. You see, every person carries their own definition of success, their own strategies, and their own scoreboard. You might be chasing wealth, someone else is chasing peace, another person might be chasing chaos for the sheer hell of it. And this reality explains how much conflict, confusion, and disappointment we experience when we expect others to act according to the rules that we’ve chosen for ourselves.

From childhood, we are taught a certain set of ‘rules - go to school, get good exam results, respect authority, work hard and be kind to others. These become the default guidelines many of us try to follow. But as we grow older, we discover that the not everyone valued school. They might have rejected authority, chased risk, or found meaning in ways that seem reckless to us. It can make you angry when someone disregards what you think is right, or it can make you jealous when they succeed whilst breaking all the rules that you’ve dutifully been following.

The truth is, there are no universal rules. There are laws we agree upon so society can function, but beyond these, most of what we consider ‘rules’ are just personal preferences. When you expect others to play by your rules, you set yourself up for constant disappointment. People don’t owe you alignment with your values. They owe you respect, maybe, but not obedience. The quicker you realise this, the freer you’ll become and instead of resenting others for playing differently, you can focus on redefining your own game.

This doesn’t mean life has to become chaotic. In fact, it can make life more interesting. Once you stop insisting that everyone thinks like you, you can observe the wide variety of strategies people use. People pursue happiness, wealth, power, and love. There’s wisdom to be gained from each approach, even if you don’t adopt them yourself. You can learn from someone else’s boldness or someone else’s patience without abandoning your own principles.

Ultimately, life’s ‘game’ isn’t about winning. It’s about defining what winning even means for you. If you spend your energy trying to make others see things your way, you’ll lose sight of your own progress. The people who thrive are those who understand that others are playing by different rules and can adjust their expectations accordingly. Instead of trying to control the game, they’ve learnt to play their own version with clarity and purpose.

So, the next time someone makes a move that seems unfair, reckless, or even foolish by your standards, remember - they’re not playing your game. They’re playing theirs. Lesson learned - Amen.

1,224 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 18 Marathon des Sables - Playing by the rules