Going Backwards - Depeche Mode

Why looking backwards matters

When we think about journeys, our mind jumps forwards to - the destination, the next step, the horizon. The language of progression is almost entirely forward-facing – ‘keep going,’ ‘move on,’ ‘you’re nearly there.’ Yet history, human psychology, and plain common sense tells us that sometimes the most important thing you can do while moving forwards…is to pause and look back.

Looking backwards is not the same as getting stuck in the past. Done well, it is reflection - the art of using your past experiences for insight, learning, and perspective is aa essential to growth as oxygen is to life. Without it, we risk walking in circles or missing the meaning in our own existence.

Navigation requires landmarks

If you’ve ever navigated in an unfamiliar landscape, you’ll know what I mean - you move forwards, spotting a tree or a rock formation as a marker. But those that are more experienced will also turnaround from time to time, to look at the trail from the opposite direction. Why? Because you’ll need to know the way back and landscapes look a lot different in reverse.

This metaphor extends beautifully into life’s journey:-

• In careers, looking back at where you started can keep you grounded and help you notice whether your current career path aligns with your original motivation
• In relationships, reflection helps you see patterns - both the ones you want to repeat and the ones you want to break.

If you never glance backwards, you risk becoming disoriented, forgetting where you came from, and lose the ability to recognise when and where you’ve gone off track.

Reflection turns experience into wisdom

Experience alone does not guarantee growth. People can repeat the same mistakes for decades without learning a thing - unless they pause and reflect.

Looking backwards allows you to:-

• Identify what worked well and why
• Recognise mistakes without self-punishment
• See how challenges shaped your resilience.

Think of life as a laboratory - you run experiments (actions), gather data (results), and then… you analyse. If you skip the analysis phase, you might as well be working in the dark. Looking back is the analysis - the stage where raw experience transforms into usable knowledge.

Gratitude is backwards facing

Gratitude is one of the most powerful emotional tools we have for maintaining happiness, and it’s inherently retrospective as you can’t be grateful for something you haven’t yet experienced.

When you look backwards on your journey:-

• You see how far you’ve come
• You notice the small victories that were invisible whilst you were in the struggle
• You remember the people who helped you along the way.

Without those backward glances, your sense of progress can flatten out, leaving you feeling like you’re endlessly climbing with no summit in sight.

The danger of purely forward obsession

Forward-only thinking carries risks:-

• Burnout: If you never stop to reflect, every achievement feels like just another box ticked before the next goal. There’s no celebration, only constant striving
• Narrowed vision: You might get so fixated on your next milestone that you fail to see better opportunities emerging behind you - ones that require looping back
• Reinforcing mistakes: Without looking back to evaluate, you might keep using strategies that don’t work simply because you haven’t paused to question them.

Life isn’t a high-speed train where the only acceptable view is through the front window.

Memory as a compass

Memory isn’t just a storage system - it’s a compass.

When you reflect on your past, you remember:-

• Your original motivations and values
• The promises you made to yourself
• The lessons you’ve already paid for in time, money, or heartache.

This is critical for course correction. Imagine you set out to sail toward a distant island, but months later, you find yourself adrift. Without looking back to your original coordinates, you have no way of knowing how far you’ve strayed - or whether you’re even still headed in the right ocean.

The role of storytelling

Humans are storytelling creatures. We make meaning by connecting events into narratives. Looking backwards is how we piece together those narratives:-

• We identify turning points - moments that changed everything.
• We recognise recurring themes - patterns in our choices and outcomes
• We see character development in our own transformation over time.

Without looking back, we live fragmentally, reacting moment-to-moment without ever understanding the arc of our journey.

The emotional calibration point

Our emotional state often depends less on where we are and more on where we think we are relative to where we started.

Looking back can provide two essential kinds of calibration:-

• Relief and pride - when you see you’ve made significant progress
• Reality checks - when you notice you’re repeating old cycles.

Both are valuable. They either boost your confidence or alert you to make more changes.

Examples from history and nature

• History: Civilisations that study their own past avoid repeating catastrophic mistakes; those that ignore history often relive them
• Nature: Migratory animals rely on memory of past routes. Even when instinct drives them forward, their path is shaped by the patterns of previous journeys
• Art and Science: Innovation often comes from revisiting older ideas and viewing them from a new angle, rather than discarding them entirely.

Looking Back Without Getting Stuck

Of course, there’s a balance. Too much backward focus can trap you in nostalgia or regret. The key is to treat looking back like checking your mirrors whilst driving:

• Do it regularly
• Use the information to navigate wisely
• Then return your gaze forwards, informed but not imprisoned by the past.

A Practical Framework for Backward Looking

Here’s a simple approach you can apply to any kind of journey:-

1.   Pause: Create intentional moments for reflection (weekly, monthly, yearly)

2.   Review: Ask yourself, ‘What have I learned? What worked? What didn’t?’

3.   Acknowledge: Celebrate wins and name your helpers

4.   Extract: Identify specific lessons you can use going forwards

5.   Integrate: Adjust your plans with those lessons in mind

6.   Release: Let go of what no longer serves you and continue onwards.

The Spiritual Dimension

Many philosophies and religions emphasise looking backwards as part of growth:-

• In Buddhism, reflection on past actions helps cultivate mindfulness and compassion
• In Christianity, remembering past deliverances is a source of faith for future trials
• In Stoicism, reviewing the day’s events is a daily practice for improving character.

This isn’t just sentimentality; it’s a disciplined way of aligning your present with your deeper values. 

The ultimate reason - Identity

Perhaps the most profound reason to look backwards is that it’s the only way to know who you are.

You are not defined only by your goals or current circumstances - you are a continuity of experiences, decisions, triumphs, and mistakes. Looking back lets you:-

• See the bassline in your life
• Understand your resilience
• Appreciate that your current self is the product of many former selves who fought to get you here.

Without that awareness, your journey becomes a blur - just motion, without meaning.

Onwards travel

A journey without backward glances is like reading a book by only turning forward, never flipping back to recall a character’s name or a crucial detail. You might reach the end faster, but you’ll miss the richness of the story. Looking back is not a distraction from progress - it’s part of how we make progress real. It transforms movement into growth, destinations into stories, and milestones into meaning.

1,220 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 18 MDS - 9 GWR - 1 Direction

Diary of a Madman - Ozzy Osbourne

Old School...

When I started running, back in 1994, we didn't have Garmin or Strava to keep our running records and deliver data - we kept a 'Running Log' - a kinda daily diary where one's runs and times were noted along with a simple mood icon and a small space for comments.

I updated it religiously, as my running experience and fresh PBs were set, and then beaten, sometimes on a daily basis. Back in those days a simple 'Timex Ironman' watch measured times and string on an OS Map or driving the route guesstimated the distances one ran.

 

Sadly, for the 'Running Log' its days became numbered as the world went digital and distances and routes were logged online - but looking at my 1994 volume it's interesting to see where I'd run and what distances I covered all those years’ ago.

 

You see this was pre-first marathon for me, and this current bout of nostalgia came from having a spare half-hour or so, in my old home town of Stratford-upon-Avon earlier this week

 

I thought it would be interesting to run one of my first running routes of 3.1* miles noted as 'Cross 'O the Hill' in the log. A route that was in fact my school’s old Cross-Country course. (No health and safety in 1973 with road crossings etc. btw). Anyway, I thought I'd run it just as I used to in 1994 - as fast as I could possibly go.

 

And looking back I see a couple of entries in April '94 as 26.05 mins and 25.13 mins yet by September '94 I'd managed to get it down to 21.25 mins - not too shabby for my first year of running at 32 years of age - nearly half of my current 63. 

 

So how did it go?

 

Well, it wasn't as bad as I thought, and 24.43 mins was a fair result - not bad considering all the running my old body has done since way back then.

 

What did happen is that I really enjoyed running this route just as much as I did all those years ago. I felt grateful that after all that’s happened to me, after all of life's twists and turns that have come my way, I still love running and the life running has given me.

 

You see sometimes we overcomplicate life and instead of enjoying ourselves at what we love to do, things can become an onerous task - I often say 'When the fun stops - stop'.

 

Luckily for me, the fun is still there - the feelings of joy, love and satisfaction are overwhelming at times, and I urge you, if you are looking for a constant in this ever-changing world of ours, go out as often as possible and make running a part of your world. Enjoy the freedom it brings and the people that come your way. I love that.

 

It's been a constant in my world for 32 years now and I wonder if I will still be able to run my 'Cross 'O the Hill' route in ten or twenty-years’ time. I do hope so.

Until then, I’m going to carry on in my crazy world of running and if I’m lucky enough to with you we can enjoy what running can bring together.

1,220 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 9 Guinness World Records - 18 Marathon des Sables 

Fade to Grey - Visage

Martin Luther King, Jr. said 'Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase' - it’s a wonderful quote. One I often hear is ‘taking the first step is the hardest’ - no wonder Neil Armstrong called his, 'A giant leap for mankind'. 

I love a good quote, and faith plays a great part in everything we do, as does commitment which I believe we can measure - I do this using my ‘Ten Levels of Commitment’ scale.

Let’s face it, more and more of us are out there looking around for the magical life-ingredient that will make our life simply perfect for ourselves and those around us. Our modern, ‘Trip-Adviser-World’ rates everything from a Holiday to a Toaster as a rating out of 10. So, I’ve made my levels match with this reasoning as to why I believe folk succeed or fail in their approach toward their goals.

0 - ‘Over my Dead Body’

Hmm, no wonder it’s a BIG fat ZERO. To me it means there is no way on God’s Earth you could ever make or even encourage me to do something. Triathlons, eating Tuna and listening Barry Manilow immediately come to my mind but then as you know, I’m an all or nothing kinda guy and the ‘Zero’ for ‘Over my Dead Body’ reflects the whitest, snow-white, white you could ever imagine. On my shades of GREY - 0 is my WHITE (Grey being a mix of Black and White. White being 100% White 0% Black and Black vice versa if you get my drift).

1 - ‘I just can’t see myself doing that’

Well, if you can’t - no one else will. Having a clear picture of yourself undertaking a feat or crossing the finish line of a race is sometimes all the belief you’ll ever need to achieve the success you desire. But let’s face it, if you don’t believe you have what it takes, it’s very hard for anyone to ‘Project’ that feeling onto you. It’s nearly always only a marginal success that’s achieved when it happens and using our ‘Neil Armstrong’ analogy, he’d never have set off for the moon, let alone walked on it.

2 - ‘There’s nothing you could do to make me do that’

Now to me that means that you could do whatever is tasked of you, but you simply don’t want to do it. It’s more of a kind of protest statement. And whenever I’ve heard it said, I’ve shut up shop and lowered my expectations of the 2/10 situation as let’s face it, making that kind of mindset remotely positive is extremely unlikely and will never reach the ‘Level of Commitment’ needed to achieve the success I’d be looking for.

3 - ‘My Partner, Husband/Wife doesn’t want me doing that’

Now, that always sounds like an excuse to me or a case of avoiding a difficult conversation with the other half. In levels 9 & 10 this wouldn’t be an option but ‘Giving in’, is a simple way of undermining your own self-confidence by not wanting to ‘Rock-the-Boat’ and leads to frustration and a feeling of ‘Minority Mediocrity’. I believe everyone has a desire, even a need to achieve. Making a mark on the world and a leaving a personal legacy has always been something that I’ve had foremost in my mind, and I now see this in a lot of the folk I meet and coach.

4 - 'Really?'

That’s the answer I get a lot when I’m looking at people’s fitness stats and ability. An ‘Ability Disbelief’ we’ll call it. A simple case of someone not knowing what they are capable of. I love the Malcom Gladwell principle that says 10,000 hours of ‘deliberate practice’ are needed to become world-class in any field. When psychologists talk about deliberate practice, they mean practicing in a way that pushes your skill set as much as possible. I mean, are people that are superb musicians or artists, the best naturally or have they simple done the time? It’s an interesting and well-argued concept but it does highlight that we tend to concentrate on things we like to do. I’m sure there are plenty more capable musicians, artists and athletes in this world - it’s just that these attributes have never been discovered perhaps. Really? Yes, Really!

5 - 'Maybe? Maybe not'

50:50 is never a safe bet, is it? A simple coin-toss. Heads or Tails? I’m never convinced folk have got what it takes when I hear such an ambivalent comment, it’s almost a double-negative in my book. A ‘Mid-Tone Grey’, dreary shade suggesting a state of complete indecisiveness of true commitment. It marks the point I find most frustrating in folk but maybe most folk also find it just as annoying in themselves - you be the judge.

6 - 'I’m on it'

Or are you? Okay we’ve reached that 60% ‘Level of Commitment’ but it’s still a long way from anything being signed, sealed and delivered. The ‘I’m on it’ comment speaks volumes to me. It usually means that the intention is there but the enthusiasm is lacking – along with any action on making it happen. I believe ‘I’m on it’ doesn’t mean happening in the present – it’s more of a future tense happening. A kind of ‘thanks for reminding me as I know I haven’t done anything about it yet’. I remember some School Summer Holiday homework having the ‘I’m on it’ appeal – don’t you?

7 - 'I’m giving it everything I’ve got'

Only you’re not. Even though you are attaining what I would call a high ‘Pass Mark’. And yes, your degree might say ‘First Class Honours’, it’s still a long way from being truly exceptional. I don’t think anyone would be happy buying a 7/10 rated TV or HiFi when there are 8, 9 or even 10/10 performers to choose from. I’d say 7/10 is ‘Good’ but not ‘Good Enough’ if you look at a 70% Grey – it’s still VERY Grey and not very Black. That says it all to me.

8 - 'There’s not a lot more I can do'

If there isn’t, well maybe you’ve misjudged your Level 10. I’m not sure anything is ever perfect and even when I thought I’d given things everything I’d ever got, there was always a niggling thought that I could have done more. Anyone that has ever done a VO2 Max test on a Treadmill, where it goes quicker and quicker and the gradient increases will have had the thought that they could have done a few more steps before hitting the emergency stop button. It tells me that there’s always something more you can do to get the most out of your inner-self.

9 - 'Nothing can stop me'

I love it! Nothing will stop you, if you’ve gone the extra mile - given it everything you’ve got and been ‘on it’ right from the start. 9/10 is pretty dark - a dark charcoal grey - a near black and for some it’s the ceiling of their ability and an extremely satisfying position to find yourself in. If you’re a gambler - it’s a ‘Dead Cert’ - a winning Lottery ticket. For those that follow one of my 12-Week Training Plans or ULTRAdiet, well you are going to succeed as it’s ‘Green Lights’ all the way. Nothing will stop you when you hit the ‘Nothing can stop me’ phase.

10 - 'At whatever cost'

How Black is your Black? Just how dark can you make it? Is your Eclipse Full or only partial? As a young boy (Aged 7) I knew I’d see the Solar Eclipse at Land’s End in 1999 (Aged 37) - ‘Whatever the Cost’, and I did. It was Black too (but sadly cloudy boo-hoo) but I lived out a 30-year dream. A pledge made as a boy that if I was still alive when I was an old man, I kept. A most satisfying moment in my lifetime along with many, many more situations and achievements that have come my way.

They haven’t come from being anything less than an eight perhaps and I can think of many things that have had to suffer so that the ‘Nines and Tens’ have happened. Sure, there are things I’ve given my all to and they’ve failed but I’m honest enough to own up to my own failings and ‘Levels of Commitment’. Maybe they weren’t all as high as I’d thought.

And for you, take some time to see how you measure up and maybe reaffirm your ‘Level of Commitment’ to whatever is driving you on to succeed right now.

Are you a 5, 8, 9 or even a 10 - I’d love to know?

1,219 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 18 MDS - 9 GWR - 10 for Life

Victim of Illusion - Michael Schenker Group

If you were a young man like me back in 1980, you would have been impressed by the unorthodox, 'Gibson Flying V' playing, Michael Schenker. His music was described, at the time, as melodic hard rock but looking back wasn't all that heavy - the self-titled album 'The Michael Schenker Group' though was a must have, especially if you were part of the 'New Wave' of Heavy Rock that was bursting on the scene. Judge for yourself and try and ignore the long hair and spandex tights!
Put it this way, he must have had a profound effect on me as some 45 years on, it was the first song that jumped into my head, when I considered the subject of being a 'Victim'.
 
'I can't put out the fire, been blinded by the flame,
I have to run for cover, can't stand the pain
Can't stand the pain'.
 
You see, I’ve experienced being a victim. Or rather I got to understand what being a victim was like a few of years ago - living the daily ‘Hell’ of ‘Guillian-Barre Syndrome’.
 
A condition I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, if I had one. But rather than let it ruin my life and become a long-term GBS Victim (there are many you see), I decided that I didn’t want or need to be a victim – I just wanted to be me again (or as close as I could as possible) and to try and live out in a relatively normal life.
 
I decided I didn’t want to become another ‘Energy Vampire’ broadcasting tales of personal woe that would eventually fall on deafened ears. I wanted to escape my predicament and feel like I’d won the battle with GBS. Yet, there was no-one there to guide me through the process. The whole thing was a rather messy affair without any clear facts or path to follow. 
 
Without my inner strength, I wouldn’t have made it. Ironically, if I’d felt suicidal or desperate, there was a lot more help and direction available. I did see a psychologist as part of my hospital de-mob but I’m not sure what she thought of me. I made her head spin with my thought process I think but she said I was ‘very focussed’ and capable of managing my own way out of the GBS ‘Maze’. So, there you go.
 
‘The screams are loud but then he can't hear
Nightmare shows his face, then disappears
Ooh victim of illusion, ooh victim of illusion’.
 
Now I’m not totally empathy-free and I’m fully aware that we live in a tough world, especially if you’ve been dealt a bad hand. But the way to a better and much calmer life is only a step away – I took that step. And taking the step of ‘Acceptance’ and leaving the thought of being a ‘Victim’ behind will change your outlook on the world, where a much brighter vision awaits.
 
However, no-one else can ever make it happen for you. You have to do that bit yourself.
 
‘Gone is the free expression, but look into my eyes,
The silent world is laughing, the mirror never lies,
The mirror never lies!’
 
So, take a long hard look at the ‘Victim’ looking back at you in the mirror. Maybe, it’s time to leave that person behind.  Your family, friends and social network will love you for it and you might even start loving yourself.
 
There's nothing more to say!

1,219 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 18 Marathon des Sables

10th Guinness World Record Coming

One of these days - The Pink Floyd

A fresh month is more than just a date on the calendar, it’s a powerful psychological reset. It’s the perfect opportunity to start afresh, to put the past behind you and step forwards with renewed momentum. Unlike the pressure of a New Year’s resolution, the start of the month feels far more manageable, and brims with promise. It’s a gentle nudge to what you’ll make of the next 30 days or so?

Starting afresh doesn’t mean ignoring yesterday’s mistakes or struggles. It’s best to acknowledge and learn from them and then draw a line in the sand. Maybe last month didn’t go as planned. Your goals slipped; your self-discipline wavered. Well, the offer of a new month means you can start over, guilt-free.

 

Set some simple and specific intentions. Perhaps you’ll drink less alcohol, spend less time scrolling, exercise daily, or finally get that nagging life-task ticked off. Keep it tangible and remember to be kind to yourself. You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight; small, consistent effort develops real, long-lasting changes.

 

Most importantly, embrace the mindset that each month is a blank canvas. Don’t carry forward last month’s failures as baggage. The first of the month is a reminder that time is marching on, and you can march on with it. So, take a deep breath, write down what matters most right now, and step into July full of optimism. 

 

It’s yours to shape, one day at a time.

1,218 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 9 Guinness World Records - 18 Marathon des Sables