Enter Sandman - Metallica

As we head into a world where AI is going to play a major part of everyday life, I thought I’d see if Chat GPT could come up with some good reasons to run the Marathon des Sables - I mean, I know the real reasons, but I wondered if they were the same as mine.

So here goes…

Why should you run the Marathon des Sables?

1. The ultimate physical and mental challenge - The MDS pushes your body and mind beyond their limits, testing endurance, resilience, and survival instincts.

2. Adventure in one of the harshest environments on Earth - Running across the Sahara Desert is an experience like no other.

3. Achievement like no other - Finishing the MDS is a life-changing accomplishment and one of the greatest endurance feats.

4. Sense of community and camaraderie - You’ll meet fellow runners from around the world, forming deep bonds through shared struggles and triumphs.

5. Personal growth and transformation - Many runners say the MDS changed their perspective on life, proving they can overcome anything.

6. Charitable and fundraising opportunities - Many participants run to raise money for charities, making their challenge even more meaningful.

If you’re looking for the ultimate adventure and endurance challenge, the Marathon des Sables is one of the most legendary races you can take on.

Seems to sum it up perfectly - so I then asked who I was to the MDS… 

If you’re considering running the MDS, Rory Coleman is one of the top coaches who can help with training, preparation, and mental strategies for completing the race.

My Chat GPT knows you know!

1,207 Marathons - 286 Ultras - 9 GWR - 17 MDS - 1 Life

Face Value - Phil Collins

I coach many CEOs, Directors and Business Leaders and you'd be surprised at their level of self-confidence and their perceived level of value, both to their businesses and to those around them - here are a few thoughts about self-value, and see if any apply to you.

Signs that you are undervaluing yourself…

Recognising the signs of self-undervaluation is vital part of feeling more confident, especially in confrontational situations. The signs often manifest in behaviours and thought patterns that, when left uncorrected, can make negatively impact your life.

Over-apologising

If you find yourself frequently apologising for things that are not your fault or are beyond your control, may be a sign of undervaluing yourself. This habit often stems from a fear of being a burden or causing inconvenience to others.

Difficulty accepting compliments

People who undervalue themselves often struggle to accept praise - brushing off compliments or attributing their success to luck rather than skills or effort.

Settling for less

Whether it’s staying in a toxic relationship, accepting a lower paid job, or tolerating poor treatment from others, settling for less than you deserve is a hallmark of self-undervaluation.

Fear of risk taking

Undervaluing yourself can lead to a paralysing fear of failure, making you hesitant to step outside your comfort zones. It often prevents people from pursuing their goals or taking advantage of new opportunities.

People-pleasing tendencies

People who undervalue themselves often prioritise the needs of others over those of their own, striving to gain validation through self-sacrifice. While kindness and generosity are admirable traits, constantly putting others first can leave you feeling drained and unappreciated.

Negative self-talk

Pervasive negative thoughts, such as ‘I’m not good enough or I don’t deserve this’ are clear indicators of self-undervaluation. Over time, this internal dialogue can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, reinforcing feelings of inadequacy.

The impact of undervaluing yourself

The effects of undervaluing yourself are far-reaching, touching nearly every aspect of your life. While the immediate consequences may seem minor, the long-term impact can be significant.

Mental health struggles

Chronic self-undervaluation can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. The constant pressure to prove your worth or the persistent belief that you are not enough can take a toll on your mental well-being.

Stalled career growth

In professional settings, undervaluing yourself can prevent you from seeking raises, promotions, or better opportunities. This can lead to stagnation in your career and a persistent sense of dissatisfaction.

Strained relationships

When you undervalue yourself, you may attract individuals who take advantage of your insecurities, leading to unbalanced or toxic relationships. Additionally, the inability to set boundaries can result in resentment and emotional exhaustion.

Missed opportunities

Fear of failure or a lack of confidence often holds individuals back from pursuing their goals. Over time, this can result in a growing list of missed opportunities and unfulfilled dreams.

Erosion of self-worth

The more you undervalue yourself, the more it reinforces a cycle of self-doubt and insecurity. This can make it increasingly difficult to break free from negative thought patterns.

Breaking free from self-undervaluation

Overcoming the habit of undervaluing yourself requires intentional effort and self-reflection. While the process may be challenging, it is entirely possible with persistence and the right strategies.

Challenge negative thoughts

Begin by identifying and challenging the negative beliefs that contribute to self-undervaluation. Replace thoughts like ‘I’m not good enough’ with affirmations such as ’I’m capable’ and ‘I’m deserving’.

Celebrate your achievements

Take time to acknowledge and celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small. Keeping a diary of your successes can help you recognise your value and build confidence over time.

Set healthy boundaries

Learn to say ‘no’ when necessary and prioritise your own needs. Setting boundaries is a crucial step in protecting your time, energy, and self-worth.

Surround yourself with supportive people

Seek out relationships with individuals who uplift and inspire you. Supportive friends and mentors can provide encouragement and help you see your value when you struggle to recognise it yourself.

Seek professional help

Therapy can be invaluable in addressing the root causes of self-undervaluation. A trained professional or coach can help you navigate past traumas, challenge negative thought patterns, and develop healthier coping mechanisms.

Practice self-compassion

Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Remember that everyone makes mistakes and faces challenges.

Take risks and embrace failure

Push yourself to step outside your comfort zones and take calculated risks. Embracing failure as a learning opportunity rather than a reflection of your worth can help you build resilience and confidence.

Invest in personal growth

Engage in activities that help you grow, whether it’s taking a course, pursuing a hobby, or practicing mindfulness. Personal growth leads to a sense of accomplishment and reinforces your intrinsic value.

The path to valuing yourself

Learning to value yourself is a journey, not a destination. It requires patience, self-awareness, and consistent effort. Along the way, you may encounter setbacks, but each step forward brings you closer to a healthier and more fulfilling life.

By addressing the root causes of self-undervaluation, challenging negative beliefs, and adopting positive habits, you can transform your self-perception. Remember, your worth is not determined by external validation or comparisons to others it’s inherent. 

Embracing this truth will empower you to live authentically, pursue your goals with confidence, and cultivate meaningful relationships that will reflect your true value.

1,207 Marathons - 286 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - Never Undervalued

Big Time - Sir Peter of Gabriel

Big Time – ‘Not me, I'm smarter than that, I worked it out’ - Gabriel

How do you measure success? By how much you earn? By where you live? By how little you have to work? Or by the size and make of your car?

 

Why are we programmed to see objects as a sign of success? And hey, before you say it, I’m just as ‘signs of success programmed’ as the next person. 

 

I mean, the car thing always got me. And It’s possibly a young man’s game and like most, I was suckered in during my sales career where a ‘Ford Mondeo Ghia X’ was perceived as the pinnacle of car hierarchy. And on finally getting my career-eager hands on the keys I found it cornered like a shopping trolley and was really an old man’s car! 

 

For the record, at only three days old it was stolen off my drive for parts and all that was left was a bodyshell in a remote field gateway that was taken away to an early company car scrapyard grave. And being success-status-driven I went to the next level reaching BMW status where you find that everyone else on the road, even though they don’t know you, instantly thinks you’re a ****.

 

It’s kinda sad that we mark success by the outward signs of wealth rather than by what we’ve achieved or by what we’ve done with other people.

 

You see it’s the things you can’t see that really matter. It’s not where you’ve been, it’s how you’ve done it that counts. It’s experience that makes you smart and being smart leads to success. Success that you simply can’t buy and that you earn, over time.

 

Now, we are not all world beating athletes, but we can outplay our own dreams and succeed in areas we once thought were unachievable. I know – been there and got the T-Shirt…many times.

 

I found that success comes from hours and hours of training, focus and determination and if you feel you have yet to succeed in life, make plans, and start to make it happen. You probably won’t get anything tangible to show for your efforts but inwardly you’ll know what true success feels like, especially when looking back in decades to come.

 

Amen.

 

1,207 Marathons, 286 Ultras, 9 GWR, 17 MDS & 1 Vision

Ordinary World - Duran Duran

Lyrics:- 'But I won't cry for yesterday, there's an ordinary world somehow I have to find. And as I try to make my way to the ordinary world, I will learn to survive' - Le Bon, Taylor, Bates & Cuccurullo

Song Choice:- I always thought the Duran Duran boys were awesome. Right from ‘Planet Earth’ onwards their songs were always really so well produced and very underrated as in the case of the brilliant 'Ordinary World'. To be honest, they were always more of a 'girl's band' and your Metallica - Guns'n'Roses - AC/DC fan would never have owned up at the time to liking them. 

 

If I'm honest, they've always been a bit of a guilty pleasure for me and I'm glad that they made some great ballads as well as the 'Rio' type pop songs - however this track in particular has always got me thinking, especially when you consider some of the lyrics.

 

I mean, what is an 'Ordinary World'? - because I haven't got a clue what one looks like or feels like from my own 'life experience'. However, I've been speaking more and more with existing and potential clients about 'Ambition' v 'Ability'. I mean it's great to have a burning desire to achieve a personal goal or achievement but without the ability to do so, it's a complete waste of time, energy and money. 

 

And yes, I know it's great to have dreams and not good to pee on someone else's chips but REALLY sometimes I'm left gasping - Actually it's more of a 'REALITY' as in check that has to be a big part of any intentions that folk might have, please take note if that's you.

 

Running across deserts, climbing mountains or rowing the Atlantic ain't too easy and you have to do the apprenticeship in any discipline needed to conquer any of these quests for sure. Tipping up last minute hoping to 'wing it' - only leads to failure and that's never an option in my book.

 

The reverse view though is that folk who have the 'Ability' for greatness and totally waste the opportunity; or even worse do a 'Best' or 'Gascoigne' and self-destruct like a 27-year-old-rock star are even worse - and if that's you, please come and see me as I'll bring the greatness out of you.

 

You see folk want greatness but also to lead an extraordinarily, ordinary world - it's nuts isn't it, searching abnormally to be normal.

 

And then try and survive...

 

Have an 'Ordinary day' if you can folks in your 'Ordinary world'...Amen

1,207 Marathons - 286 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - 1 Extra-Ordinary Person

Anger in Harmony - Wishbone Ash

 The Power of being Calm when Angry… 

In life, we are often confronted with situations that test our patience and emotional control. From minor inconveniences like someone cutting us up in traffic to significant conflicts in personal or professional relationships. The temptation to react angrily can be overwhelming. However, cultivating a sense of calm in the face of provocation is a far more effective and fulfilling response. Being calm instead of angry not only improves our emotional health but also enhances our relationships, decision-making abilities, and makes us feel better.

 

Let’s explore the importance being calm when angry, it’s psychological and physiological effects, and the practical strategies for choosing to be calm in challenging moments.

 

Understanding anger and calmness

 

Anger is a natural human emotion that arises when we feel wronged, threatened, or frustrated. It’s a defence mechanism, that alerts us to perceived injustice and motivates action to address the issue. While anger can be constructive in certain situations, such as advocating for social change or standing up for oneself, it often becomes destructive when expressed impulsively, without control. Uncontrolled, anger can harm relationships, fuel misunderstandings, and escalate conflict.

 

Calmness, on the other hand, is a state of mental and emotional balance. It allows people to respond to challenges thoughtfully rather than reactively. Being calm doesn’t mean suppressing emotions or avoiding problems; instead, it involves maintaining control over one’s responses and addressing issues with clarity and composure. Calmness breeds rational thinking, empathy, and resilience, making it a very powerful antidote to anger.

 

The psychological effects of anger

 

When anger takes hold, it activates the ‘fight or flight’ response, a survival mechanism hardwired into our DNA. This response triggers a cascade of physiological changes, including increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, and the release of stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. Whilst this reaction can be useful in dangerous situations, chronic or frequent anger can harm both mental and physical health.

 

Psychologically, anger clouds judgment and narrows our focus, making it difficult to see the bigger picture. It can distort perceptions, causing people to misinterpret others’ intentions or exaggerate the significance of a problem. Over time, frequent bouts of anger can lead to feelings of bitterness, resentment, and helplessness. 

 

The benefits of calmness

 

Choosing calmness over anger offers numerous benefits, both immediate and long-term. Calmness enhances emotional intelligence, enabling people to better understand their own feelings and those of others. This heightened awareness breeds empathy and strengthens relationships by reducing misunderstandings and encouraging open communication.

 

From a physiological perspective, calmness counteracts the stress response associated with anger. By lowering heart rate and cortisol levels, calmness promotes relaxation and reduces the risk of stress-related health issues such as hypertension, heart disease, and anxiety disorders. Additionally, staying calm improves cognitive function by allowing the brain to process information more effectively, leading to better problem-solving and decision-making.

 

On a wider level, calmness can create a ripple effect, positively influencing those around us. When we respond to adversity with composure, we set an example for others and contribute to a more harmonious environment. In this way, calmness becomes not only a personal virtue but also a catalyst for collective peace.

 

Practical strategies for choosing calmness

 

Although remaining calm in difficult situations is challenging, it’s a skill that can be developed with practice. Here are several strategies to help you cultivate calmness and manage anger more effectively:

 

Pause and breathe

 

When anger begins to rise, pausing and focusing on your breath can help you regain control. Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, which counteracts the stress response and promotes relaxation. Even taking a few slow, deep breaths can create a sense of calm and prevent impulsive reactions.

 

Practice mindfulness

 

Mindfulness involves staying present in the moment and observing your thoughts and emotions without judgment. By cultivating mindfulness, you can become more aware of your anger triggers and develop your ability to respond thoughtfully rather than reactively. Mindfulness practices such as meditation, yoga, or simply observing your surroundings can help build this skill over time.

 

Reframe the situation

 

Often, anger arises from the way we interpret events rather than the events themselves. By reframing the situation, you can shift your perspective and reduce the intensity of your emotional reaction. For example, instead of assuming someone is being rude intentionally, consider the possibility that they may be having a bad day or dealing with their own challenges.

 

Focus on solutions

 

Rather than dwelling on what went wrong or who is to blame, channel your energy into finding a constructive solution. This proactive approach not only resolves the issue more effectively but also empowers you to take control of the situation without letting anger dictate your actions.

 

Engage in physical activity

 

Physical activity is a powerful outlet for releasing pent-up anger and tension. Exercise helps reduce stress hormones, improve mood, and restore a sense of calm. Whether it’s a brisk walk, a workout, a run or a session of stretching, physical movement can help you regain emotional balance.

 

Communicate assertively

 

Calmness does not mean suppressing your feelings or avoiding difficult conversations. Instead, aim to express your concerns assertively and respectfully. Use ‘I’ statements to convey your feelings without placing blame, such as, ‘I feel frustrated when deadlines are missed,’ rather than, ‘You never meet deadlines.’

 

Develop emotional awareness

 

Understanding the root causes of your anger can help you address underlying issues and prevent future outbursts. Reflect on patterns in your emotional responses and consider what unmet needs or unresolved conflicts may be contributing to your feelings.

 

Practice gratitude

 

Focusing on the positive aspects of your life can help shift your mindset away from anger and toward appreciation. Regularly practicing gratitude, whether through blogging, sharing your thoughts with others, or simply reflecting on what you’re thankful for, can cultivate a sense of peace and contentment.

 

Seek support

 

If anger becomes overwhelming or difficult to manage, seeking support from a trusted friend, family member, or Coach can make a significant difference. Talking about your feelings and receiving guidance from others can help you gain perspective and develop healthier coping strategies.

 

And finally…

 

Choosing calmness over anger is not always easy, but it’s a choice that leads to greater peace, resilience, and fulfilment. By understanding the impacts of anger, embracing the benefits of calmness, and practicing strategies to stay composed, we can navigate life’s challenges with grace and clarity. Calmness empowers us to respond thoughtfully, build stronger relationships, and contribute to a more harmonious world. Ultimately, it is not the absence of challenges that defines us, but how we choose to face them. In choosing calmness, we choose a path of wisdom, compassion, and enduring strength. 

Amen.

1,207 Marathons - 286 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - 1 Calm Mind

 

Too low for Zero - Sir Elton John

Being at the lowest point of your life is an experience that’s deeply personal, intensely raw, and often isolating. It feels like standing at the edge of a vast, dark abyss, with no clear path forwards and no light to guide your way. The weight of emotions - sadness, despair, anger, and guilt - can feel overwhelming, like somethings pressing down hard on your chest. Time slows and every moment stretches out endlessly, dragging you further into a state of hopelessness. 

The Crushing Weight of Despair

 

I call it ‘Point Zero’, where despair can feel like an all-encompassing fog. The pain your carrying, whether it’s from loss, failure, heartbreak, or self-doubt, clouds your thoughts and makes it impossible to see beyond the immediate moment. You find yourself replaying past mistakes and painful memories over and over again, unable to break free from of cycle. These intrusive thoughts become a constant companion - whispering doubts of self-loathing that feel impossible to silence.

 

Simple tasks, like getting out of bed, can become Herculean challenges. The energy required to engage with the world feels out of reach, leaving you disconnected from the those around you. Even when you’re surrounded by people who care, loneliness seeps into your bones, making you feel as though no one truly understands what you’re going through. It’s as if you’re screaming into the void, and no one cares or gives a shit.

 

A Sense of Failure and Worthlessness

 

One of the most insidious aspects of hitting ‘Point Zero’ is the sense of worthlessness that often accompanies it. You may begin to question your values, wondering your existence matters or if you’re simply a burden to those around you. Every failure magnifies, and they start to define your entire identity, and the voice of self-criticism grows louder and louder, drowning out any remnants of self-compassion or hope.

 

For many, this sense of failure is tied to unmet expectations, both internal and external. You might have envisioned a certain path for your life, only to see it crumble before you. Perhaps you’ve lost a job, a relationship, or a dream you held close to your heart. The weight of these losses can feel unbearable, as though you’re trapped under the rubble of your own shattered aspirations.

 

This feeling of failure isn’t always logical as it doesn’t necessarily align with reality. But at your lowest point, logic often takes a backseat to emotions. You might find yourself believing things about yourself that aren’t true, simply because the pain has distorted your perspective.

 

Physical and Emotional Exhaustion

 

It’s not just an emotional experience; it’s a physical one as well. The body often mirrors the mind, manifesting in exhaustion, pain, or a constant state of tension. Sleep becomes elusive; either you can’t stop your racing thoughts long enough to rest, or you sleep too much in an attempt to escape the waking world. Appetite fluctuates wildly, leaving you either unable to eat or consuming food in an attempt to fill the emotional void.

 

This physical toll only compounds the emotional pain. It’s hard to summon the strength to face your struggles when your body feels like it’s betraying you. The fatigue becomes another obstacle in a seemingly endless series of barriers, each one pushing you further into despair.

 

The Isolation of Rock Bottom

 

One of the most difficult aspects of being at your lowest is the isolation that often accompanies it. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, people tend to withdraw at times of extreme pain. You might feel ashamed of your struggles, afraid to burden others with your problems, or convinced that no one could possibly understand what you’re going through. Even when you want to reach out, the words can feel impossible to find.

 

This isolation can create a vicious cycle: the more alone you feel, the harder it becomes to seek support, which in turn deepens your sense of loneliness. It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing that no one cares, even when that’s far from the truth. At your lowest point, the world can feel incredibly small, reduced to the confines of your own pain.

 

The Turning Point: Finding Resilience in the Darkness

 

While being at your lowest point can feel like an endless void, it’s important to remember that it’s not a permanent state. It may not feel that way in the moment, but the very act of enduring such profound pain is a testament to your resilience. Even when you can’t see it, there is a strength within you that has carried you this far and will continue to carry you onwards.

 

The first step towards healing often comes in the smallest of moments. A single decision to keep going, to take one more step, to reach out to someone, or to seek help. It might be as simple as getting out of bed after days of lying in darkness, or as monumental as admitting to someone that you’re struggling. These small acts of defiance against the weight of despair can become the foundation for rebuilding your life.

 

The Role of Support and Connection

 

Sharing your pain doesn’t erase it, but it does lessen its grip. Knowing that someone else sees you, hears you, and cares about you can be a lifeline in the midst of darkness.

 

If speaking to someone directly feels too daunting, there are other ways to seek support. Writing in a diary, joining an online support group, or even reading about others who have faced similar struggles can remind you that you’re not alone. There is immense power in realising that your pain, while deeply personal, can be shared.

 

Rediscovering Hope

 

Hope is often the first casualty of hitting rock bottom, but it’s also the key to climbing out. At your lowest point, hope might not look like a grand vision of the future. It might be as small as believing that tomorrow could be slightly better than today. It might be as fragile as a single, fleeting thought that things won’t always be this way.

 

Over time, as you begin to heal, that hope can grow. It can take the form of new goals, renewed relationships, or a deeper understanding of yourself. The process of rediscovering hope is rarely linear, it’s filled with setbacks and struggles, but each step forward is a victory, no matter how small.

 

Embracing Growth and Transformation

 

Whilst it’s not a journey anyone would choose. It can be an opportunity to rebuild your life in a way that aligns more closely with your values and desires. Pain can be a powerful teacher, offering lessons about resilience, self-compassion, and the importance of prioritising your well-being.

 

At your lowest point, it might feel impossible to imagine a future where you’re happy or at peace. But with time, effort, and support, it is possible to move forwards. The scars you carry from this experience will remain, but they can serve as reminders of your strength and your ability to endure.

 

Be strong – there’s hope

 

Being at the lowest point of your life is a harrowing experience, one that tests the limits of your strength and resilience. It strips you down to your core, forcing you to confront parts of yourself you might prefer to ignore. Yet, even in the depths of despair, there is the potential for growth, connection, and renewal. It’s a painful and difficult journey, but it’s also one that can lead to profound transformation. And though it may not feel like it in the moment, you are stronger and more capable of change than you might realise.

1,205 Marathons - 285 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - One Life

Cars - Gary Numan

We are a nation of car lovers and research from Auto Trader said that nearly 1 in 5 Brits give their car a pet name, and over 1 in 10 people agree that a car can make a person more attractive, with 11% admitting that they’re in love with their car. Well that’s what the internet says and I only looked following a couple hours of cleaning the two cars in the ‘Coleman Household Fleet’.

We have two cars, a larger family car, and a smaller run around which if you know me, you’ve probably seen. Both are used daily, mainly to shepherd children from A to B across Cardiff and are hence full of various spent items of food and the odd bit of rubbish. I’m sure you can imagine.
 
And after a couple of hours, both were antiseptically clean and as near to original to their original condition as I could make them. Now, I’m not one to have super expensive cars - I mean, why invest in a depreciating asset? They are in fact two very much middle of the road, French cars – enough said.
 
So, whilst cleaning said cars, it got me thinking what does having a clean car say about you – not what model. And depending on the context and how others might perceive them here are some thoughts.
 
Attention to Detail
It suggests that you pay attention to details and care about your belongings.
 
Responsibility
Maintaining a clean car can reflect a sense of responsibility and pride in ownership.
 
Professionalism
In some settings, like work or business, a clean car might indicate that you value appearances and professionalism.
 
Organisation
It may suggest that you are an organised and tidy person, extending the same care to other areas of your life.
 
Respect for Others
If you often have passengers, a clean car can show that you care about their comfort and experience.
 
Self-Presentation
People might perceive you as someone who values personal hygiene and cleanliness in general.
 
Of course, these interpretations vary based on context and culture, but overall, a clean car generally leaves a positive impression – and if it is, congratulations as you tick all the boxes but if it’s a farmyard you might want to up your game and take it for a well-earned Spring-clean.

1,205 Marathons - 285 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 GWR - 2 Clean Cars