Lyrics:- 'When I'm falling down, Will you pick me up again? When I'm too far gone' - Swire Thompson
Song Choice:- I've used this song so many times in my blogs and it narrates the last 24 hours perfectly. Even Jack Bauer would have struggled with this plot.
The decision to go back into ITU at the University of Wales in Cardiff for more treatment wasn't a difficult one. A week of Zimmer framing around two rooms at home like Torvill and Dean, skating blindfolded and excessively drunk, being supported by an eight months’ pregnant wife dodging a very active 18 month old toddler, was becoming a recipe for disaster. There were far too many close shaves and a couple of nasty falls. Mrs Coleman has been amazing throughout it all and I'll never be able to repay her care and kindness...
Being chaperoned by friends (Thanks James and Mike) and being dead-lifted a couple of times off the hall floor by neighbours (I have strong neighbours) it was time for me to wave the white flag and beg to go back to the place I so wanted to escape from in May.
The lyrics continues...'Will you take me out of here? When I'm staring down the barrel, When I'm blinded by the lights'.
This time there was just relief and hope that I can at least get to walk again in the future. There was no gun at my head, just one last epic drunken skating journey to the car and a short drive to 24/7 professional care., I won't go into the unblocking process.
This time without shame, without a tear, without a fight.
All I believe, and all I've been for 22 years, may have been taken from me, for now. I now have to face uo to this way of living - My world might have collided with the worst Kryptonite a Coleman could ever come into contact with, The world of 'Chronic Inflammatory Demyelinating Polyneuropathy' (CIPD) now diagnosed for sure.
But at least I now know what I'm fighting.
I took my last couple of steps last night before becoming bed-bound for the next week or so as I'm just too weak to stand at all any more. We'll see if the 'Immunoglobulin' intro-venous antibodies can get the CIDP to recede back down my arms and legs and some more MRI scans of my back which are clouding the issue as my discs are also blocking some of my central nervous system to add to the mix.
And maybe regain some strength...
I will too you see, it's too easy to be frightened, but I'm not. I feel calm and ready to take on this next life chapter. I've used the chorus of this song lots of times when the brown stuff has hit the fan in the past and it's my anthem right now. Listen to Pendulum for yourself and see what you are missing...and shout with me.
‘Feed the fire, break your vision. Throw your fists up, come on with me’.
My fists are up ready for Round Two - Come with me!
976 Marathons - 241 Ultras - 13 Marathon des Sables - 9 Guinness World Records - 1 Vision