Accidents will Happen - Elvis Costello

Are we crazy in thinking that life crises only happen to other people? That in some way, or somehow, we’re exempt from bad things happening to us. Well, I’m sorry to say that no-one is exempt from acts of God, accidents, ill-health or simply just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Shit happens! We just don’t expect it, or plan for it, to happen to us. 

You see the idea that bad things only happen to others is common place and called ‘optimism bias’, where people tend to believe they are less likely to experience negative events than others. This belief can be comforting, as it allows individuals to feel a sense of invulnerability and control over their lives. However, it's important to recognise that everyone is susceptible to bad things, and that misfortune is not always a reflection of personal flaws or bad choices.

Here's a more detailed look at why people might feel this way:- 

Cognitive Bias

Optimism bias is a well-documented cognitive bias where people overestimate their own chances of success and underestimate the likelihood of negative outcomes 

Selective Attention

When bad things happen to others, we may focus on the details of the situation, leading to the perception that it's a unique or isolated occurrence, while ignoring the fact that similar events can happen to anyone 

Personal Experiences

Past experiences, especially those where we have avoided or overcome adversity, can reinforce the belief that we are less vulnerable 

Wishful Thinking

Sometimes, the belief that bad things only happen to others is a way to maintain a sense of control and hope in a world where things can be unpredictable 

Empathy Gap

Experiencing someone else's misfortune may be difficult, and it can be easier to distance ourselves emotionally by believing that it couldn't possibly happen to us 

Schadenfreude

While not the main reason, schadenfreude (taking pleasure in another's misfortune) can also contribute to the perception that bad things only happen to others. 

Like I’ve said, It's important to remember that everyone is susceptible to suffering and that bad things can happen to anyone, regardless of their personal characteristics or choices. However, recognising the potential for adversity can help us be more prepared and resilient in the face of life's challenges.

Better put your tin hat on – it’s a jungle out there!

1,215 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 9 GWR - 18 Marathon des Sables - One Life

Changes - David Bowie

In a world that’s constantly shifting with trends, technology, and social pressures, it’s easy to lose sight of what truly matters. Many people live their lives according to values they’ve inherited or have unconsciously accepted rather than intentionally chosen. Over time, these borrowed values have created tension, dissatisfaction, and a sense of disconnection from one’s inner self. This is when resetting one’s values becomes essential.

Resetting one’s values is the conscious process of reassessing in what you believe, what you prioritise, and how you want to live. It’s about peeling away the layers of assumption, expectation, and habit to reconnect with your most authentic self. It’s not about becoming a new person; it’s about returning to the person you were always meant to be.

Why reset your values?

First, it’s important to understand why resetting your values might be necessary. Life transitions often trigger that need. Starting a new career, ending a relationship, moving to a new place, or facing a health crisis make for a perfect value reset opportunity. But sometimes, the feeling is more subtle. It could be a persistent feeling of restlessness, or a low-grade self-dissatisfaction that no amount of achievement or sensory overload (addiction) can fix.

Values that once served you right, might no longer fit your current life structure. You may have valued ambition in your twenties, chasing career success at all costs, but now in your forties or fifties, find yourself craving balance, community, and inner peace.

If your values are outdated or misaligned, you’ll understand what I mean as right now, you might be feeling:-

• Burnt out and exhausted
• Chronically dissatisfisfied
• Feeling empty
• A lack of meaning or purpose
• A disconnection from your passions and dreams.

How to reset your values

Resetting your values isn’t something you do once and then it’s permanently fixed. It’s a living, breathing practice. Here’s a framework to guide you through the process:-

Reflect on your current values

Start by examining the values you currently live by. Ask yourself:-

• What drives my daily decisions?
• What am I willing to sacrifice?
• Where do I spend most of my time and energy?

Write down the answers without judgment. Some values might have been passed down by family members, shaped by culture, or dictated by your peer group. Others may have evolved through your own experience. Notice which ones resonate deeply and which ones feel imposed or outdated

Identify what feels misaligned

Next, take a hard look at your life and identify where your current values may be out of sync with your desired life. Some examples:-

• You value family but spend 80+ hours a week at work
• You value creativity but haven’t been in years
• You value honesty but often find yourself people-pleasing to avoid conflict.

The gaps between what you say you value and how you actually live are crucial clues. Don’t view them as failures, view them as invitations to realign.Imagine your ideal self

Imagine a version of yourself who feels fully alive, peaceful, and fulfilled. What values would that version of you have? Such qualities are:-

• Courage
• Compassion
• Freedom
• Joy
• Growth
• Connection
• Simplicity.

Allow yourself to dream. Forget about what’s ‘practical’ or what others expect. List the values that really matter.

Choose your new core values

From your reflections, select 5–7 core values that will serve as your foundation moving forwards. Keep them simple and memorable. These are the values you’ll build your choices, habits, and relationships on.

When choosing, focus on how you want to feel and who you want to become, not just what you want to achieve. Values are about being, not just doing.

Define what each value looks like in action

A value is only meaningful if it’s actionable. Otherwise, it will stay unfulfilled. Define what living each value looks like day-to-day. For example:-

• If you value health, it might mean cooking more nutritious food, being more active, and setting healthy boundaries at work
• If you value freedom, it might mean creating financial security, saying ‘NO’ more often, and designing more-flexible working hours.

Clarity empowers action.

Align your life with your values

Now comes the hard part - realignment. This requires some difficult choices. You may need to let go of commitments, relationships, or habits that conflict with your new values.

Realignment isn’t about drastic overnight changes. It’s about small, steady adjustments. One decision at a time, one conversation at a time and you’ll start to create a life that reflects your true self.

Ask yourself regularly:-

• Does this decision reflect my core values?
• Is this opportunity in alignment with the life I want to live?

Values-based living is not rigid; it’s dynamic. Give yourself space as you navigate the inevitable challenges life delivers.

Challenges you might face

Resetting your values can feel liberating, but it’s not without resistance. Expect pushback:-

• Fear of Change: Our brains crave familiarity. Even toxic patterns can feel ‘safe’ because they are known
• External Pressure: Family, friends, and society might not understand your shift, especially if it disrupts the status quo
• Self-Doubt: You may question whether you’re ‘allowed’ to prioritise your happiness or authenticity.

Remember: these obstacles are normal. Stay rooted in your why. Reshaping your values is ultimately an act of deep self-respect.
Living a values-aligned life

Once you reset your values, your life doesn’t magically become perfect, but it does become more yours. Decisions become clearer. Inner conflict lessens. Joy, even during difficult times, becomes more accessible because you know you’re living a better life.

You’ll show more authentically in your relationships. You’ll inspire others to search for their own truths. You’ll contribute to a world that is not just successful, but meaningful.

Resetting your values is not about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you are, and living with courage, grace, and joy.

1,215 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 9 GWR - 18 Marathon des Sables - One Life

Flashdance...What a feeling - Irene Cara

Photo - Ian Corless

Post Traumatic Race Disorder (PTRD) is a serious thing and I believe it’s a definite condition that people can feel following a running adventure. Please understand that I’m not belittling PTSD in any way, but the symptoms have a similarity. Prolonged exposure to multi-day marathons, be it in the desert or on the road, can lead to disturbing feelings of being lost, depressed and can alter the way that a person behaves - the symptoms can last for months after the event.I can remember returning from the Marathon des Sables for the first time in 1999 feeling shell-shocked by what I’d experienced. It wasn’t a negative feeling as I’d had an amazing ‘out-of-body’ experience or rather ‘out-of-normal-life’ experience. 

You see the race came at a time of change for me and opened my eyes to an unknown world of adventure. On my return, I felt lost with an overriding feeling of confusion. I couldn’t explain to those around me what I’d experienced, and it was the early days of email and before social media, so there was little connectivity with those that had been there with me. It made me start questioning everything I’d surrounded myself with in life. Relationships, career, even functioning itself. My brain started to question why simple things such as using a pedestrian crossing on a busy high street was needed, when in the desert such things were unheard of. I spent many minutes looking the lights and the crossing button as I remember.

I'd found out the hard way that life is far too complicated.

I experienced the same feelings following my forty-three days on the road to Lisbon from London in ‘04 and also following my 28 marathons in 28 days for Stoptober in ’13. Following both adventures, and with the MDS in mind, I carefully detrained and detoxed myself back to some kind of normality. In more recent times, I’ve met people undertaking similar feats and warned them of the dangers of PTRD and how post experience the things they were trying to escape and the life-problems they’d stacked up would be there to run into on their return. It happens…

My cure has always been to sign up for the next big adventure so that I get the same euphoric feelings that running twenty-six point two or more can only bring. For those in Team Coleman that were with me at the MDS Legendary, I wouldn’t be surprised if they had some or all of the above feelings. It’s only natural. Within my group I know that there are feelings of being lost and some are some are still feeling broken but there are also those that feel empowered and ready for the next challenge after righting the world they left post desert-retreat. Let’s face it, there’s a lot of time to process things in the desert, especially without any connectivity to the ‘outside world’.

That’s the ‘outside world’ which is full of life’s white noise, distraction and nonsense that masks the basic needs of existence. For anyone planning their next adventure my advice is always to consider what you are going to do with what you learn from the journey pre-event, and how the lessons learned during the event will be distilled and filtered back into normal day-to-day life - as well as how are you going to deal with a good old helping of PTRD.

It's a kinda weird feeling isn’t it?

1,215 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 9 GWR - 18 Marathon des Sables - One Life

Riders on the Storm - The Doors

Team Coleman - Warriors

Lots of people that have just completed the 39^th MDS Legendary have asked me how it shapes up against previous editions. Well, I think this one is up there amongst the toughest of my eighteen completions.

Was it the longest? Was it the hottest? Was it the hardest? Hmm, it was more like a combination of all of the above. It was probably the dirtiest, as the sand simply went everywhere. Perhaps this one will be known as the one where people struggled most with 'the living in the desert’ part of the race. I always say Legendary isn't an ultra or a marathon, it's a self-sufficiency race and it was a shock for most that were there with the conditions they faced.

 

Of the 896 competitors only 49 didn't get to the finish line It's good that so many people can return home with a well-earned medal.  And it was a special occasion for me as my son Sam (31) accompanied me throughout. 

 

Team Coleman performed amazing well, as did the hundreds of other competitors that used my training plans or watched my monthly MDS coaching seminars. People from all corners of the world made a point of saying a personal ‘thank you’ for my help.

 

Anyway, The 39^th MDS Legendary didn't disappoint. Race Director, Cyril Gauthier has taken Legendary to another level and his attention to detail is incredible. The Checkpoints are a haven amongst the elements, with crew only too happy to give you anything you need to get you to the finish each day.

Is the race perfect? Well, I think so. It's MDS Legendary - it's designed to take you to the limits of human endurance, and if you ever take part, you'll understand what I mean.

1,215 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 9 GWR - 18 Marathon des Sables

Begin Again - Knife Party

Yikes the 39th Marathon des Sables starts on Sunday and I'll be there on the start line for my 18th time! No doubt, it's going to be a great week and along the way there's a marathon and an ultra within the 250kms of the race to add to my running total.

It's a far cry from being here back in 1999, not knowing what to expect, and naively running in fancy dress just to make it harder - (what was I thinking!) but anyway, I survived and immediately fell in love with the desert.

Since then, the race has become etched into my DNA and I know the challenge that lies ahead of me. Sure all my kit is tried and tested, and I know how exactly how to pace myself, but the MDS is all about grit and determination. It's hardcore. It's tough. It's brutal. And at 63, I'm one of the older runners now so I'll have to use all my years of experience to get me and son Sam (31) through to the finish line next Saturday.

So, I have my game face on and I'm ready for whatever the desert is going to throw at us this year.

Let Battle commence...yee ha!

1,213 Marathons - 289 Ultras - 17 Marathon des Sables - One Life

Seconds Out - Genesis

Embrace every moment

Life is fleeting. From the moment we are born, time starts moving forwards at an alarming rate, and no one knows how long they’ve got. Every second that passes is one we’ll never get back, and maximising our time on Earth is the most valuable pursuit we can ever undertake.

The brevity of life

Life is short. No matter how long we live, it will always feel that time has passed us by too quickly. People often regret not taking risks, not pursuing their passions, or not spending enough time with loved ones. We don’t have an infinite amount of time, and the realisation of our own mortality should push us to make the most of every day.

Many people procrastinate about their dreams and desires, thinking there will always be time in the future. However, the future isn’t guaranteed. We often hear of individuals who died unexpectedly, leaving behind unfulfilled ambitions and unspoken words. Recognising that life is uncertain should encourage us to seize every opportunity rather than waiting for a ‘perfect time’ that may never come.

The pursuit of happiness

Too often, people get caught up worrying about careers, financial success, or what other people will think. Whilst responsibility is important, it should not come at the expense of happiness. 

Living fully means doing things that bring joy and satisfaction. Whether it’s traveling to new places, learning new skills, or simply spending time with loved ones, happiness is often found in the experiences we create, rather than the material things we accumulate.

Creating meaningful relationships

One of the best aspects of life is the connections we make with other people. Strong relationships provide support, love, and shared experiences that enrich our existence. When we make the most of our lives, we prioritise relationships, nurture friendships, and make time for those who matter most.

Many people on their deathbeds express regret over not spending enough time with family or neglecting meaningful friendships. This highlights how crucial it is to invest in relationships whilst we have the chance.

Pursuing passions and dreams

Every one of us has unique talents, dreams, and passions. Unfortunately, many people suppress these aspirations due to fear, doubt, or external pressure. They settle for a safe and predictable life rather than chasing what truly excites them.

Pursuing our dreams, no matter how ambitious they may seem, adds depth and meaning to our lives. Whether it’s starting a business, traveling the world or running in a desert, making time for what we love is essential. Even if we face failure or setbacks, the pursuit itself is worthwhile. A life lived in pursuit of passion is far richer than one spent merely living life.

Overcoming fear and taking risks

Fear holds many people back from living fully. Fear of failure, rejection, or the unknown can prevent us from taking risks that could lead to fulfilment. However, the greatest achievements in life often come from stepping outside of our comfort zones.

Taking risks, whether big or small, allows us to learn, adapt, and discover our true potential. Every successful person has faced challenges, but they achieved greatness by refusing to let fear dictate their choices. Living fully means embracing uncertainty and viewing challenges as opportunities rather than obstacles. 

Appreciating the present moment

Many people either dwell on the past or anxiously anticipate the future, forgetting to appreciate the present. Whilst it’s important to learn from past experiences and plan for the future, life truly happens in the now. If we are always waiting for a better moment, we risk missing out on the beauty of today.

Making a positive impact

Living fully is not just about personal happiness - it also involves contributing to the world in a meaningful way. Whether through acts of kindness, helping others, or leaving a lasting legacy, making a positive impact gives our lives purpose.

Many of the most fulfilling lives are those dedicated to service -whether through volunteering, mentoring, or simply being there for others. When we positively affect the lives of those around us, we create ripples of goodness that extend far beyond our own existence.

Growth and self-improvement

Another important reason to make the most of life is the opportunity for personal growth. Each day presents a chance to learn, evolve, and become a better version of ourselves. Whether it’s acquiring new knowledge, improving our physical health, or developing emotional intelligence, growth is a continuous journey.

When we stop striving for improvement, life can become stagnant. But when we embrace challenges and commit to self-improvement, we remain engaged and motivated.

Avoiding regrets

One of the most painful emotions is regret. Many people look back on their lives wishing they had done things differently. To avoid such regrets, take action now.

Living fully means making decisions that align with our true desires rather than postponing happiness. If there’s something you’ve always wanted to do, find a way to do it. If you need to mend a relationship, take the first step. The more we embrace life, the fewer regrets we’ll have.

Finding balance

While making the most of life involves ambition and adventure, it also requires balance. True fulfilment comes from aligning work, relationships, personal interests, and well-being. Neglecting one area can lead to dissatisfaction, even if other aspects of life are thriving.

Think on

Life is a precious gift, and every day is an opportunity to make the most of it. It’s easy to get caught up in routine and forget that our time is limited. However, recognising the fleeting nature of life should inspire us to act with intention and enthusiasm.

And when the final day of life arrives, we should be able to look back with pride, knowing that we’ve truly lived, not just existed and made every second count. 

Let me help you live life and have fewer regrets contact me - rory@rorycoleman.co.uk .

1,212 Marathons - 288 Ultras - 17 Marathon des Sables - One Life Lived.

If I could turn back time - Cher

If I could turn back time…

I often wonder what I’d do if I could turn back time. Surely time-travel must be one of the most frequently explored things in human history and perhaps everyone has often dreamt of having their own personal TARDIS (Time And Relative Dimension In Space - thanks Dr Who). I mean who wouldn’t like to go ‘back to their future’? And like most people I’ve dreamt of undoing my mistakes, reclaiming lost opportunities, and rewriting my past.

 

However, the concept of reversing time could have negative as well as positive connotations. Sure, it offers the possibility of a fresh start, but it also raises questions about fate. If time-travel were possible, would altering the past truly lead to a better future, or could it make things worse?

Regret and nostalgia…

Whether it’s to correct a mistake, relive a moment, or change a decision, our past holds moments of both regret and nostalgia, however the thought of undoing painful experiences or taking advantage of a missed opportunity is most appealing.

Just imagine being able to prevent a personal disaster, choose a different career path, or save a loved one from a tragic accident – the possibilities are endless. The ability to go back and change such events could lead to a more fulfilling life, free of the burden of poor choices. On a larger scale, history itself could be rewritten preventing wars even global disasters – we’d already know the lottery numbers my oh my - but at what cost?

The cost of change…

There’s a thing called the ‘Butterfly effect’ - a term popularised in chaos theory, suggesting that even a small change can lead to significant and unpredictable effect in the future. And if we were to change just one single decision, the resulting chain reaction could alter relationships, events, and even entire lives

.

In classic time travel films, characters often attempt to fix a mistake only to find that their actions create new problems. These cautionary tales serve as reminders that the past, while sometimes painful, plays a crucial role in shaping who we are today. Also, if you were to erase the past, it might erase some valuable life lessons.

Don’t erase, but learn…

Rather than wishing to turn back time, a more practical approach is to learn from your past experiences - whilst the past cannot be changed, it can serve as a guide for future decisions. Learning from mistakes allows people to make better choices moving forwards – we all know that.

Additionally, instead of dwelling on regrets, embracing the present and making the most of opportunities available right now can be a more productive way to live. I mean, the past has already happened, its history, but the future is still unwritten and probably better without the need to rewrite the past.

Thoughts of the future…

Although turning back time that would give us a second chance to control fate, it seems fraught with risk. And instead of focusing on what could have been, embracing the lessons of the past and striving to shape a better future appears to be the best way forwards. 

Life is a journey of learning, and an exciting future awaits. Amen.

1,211 Marathons - 288 Ultras - 17 MDS - 9 Guinness World Records - 1 Life