Saturday, 13 August 2016

I Don't Remember - Peter Gabriel

Lyric:- 'I got no memory of anything at all' - Sir Peter of Gabriel

Song Choice:- A great track from Gabriel's third studio album from 1980. Take a listen as the sound is most interesting as there are no cymbals in the drum kit which I've always found a little unnerving especially as it's Phil Collins playing and he normally plays, cymbal happy!

It's the 'I Don't Remember' bit that's really relevant for today's blog as I've had a few hours' home visit to #48 Pembroke Road from Rookwood Hospital in nearby Llandaff. I say nearby as it's only 1.3 miles to the front door but for the past 38 days, it might as well have been a million light years away as my only focus has been  getting better and feeling safe back in hospital after a disastrous five weeks in June/July.

Was I worried about going home today? Well, not really as Jenny did all my worrying for me as well as her own.

Was it different to the last time I went home? Well, to be honest, I just can't remember.

I do remember getting frightened, really frightened and being plain dangerous most of the time so it's no wonder Jenny watched me like a hawk all day today. She didn't need to worry though as I will only do what I know I'm capable of during this period of recovery from SIDP and I took it easy. However, it has now made me fully aware of how people around me have been affected by me and my condition these past five months.

Anyway, today was different...

I'm no longer a jibbering wreck on a Zimmer-Frame. I can just sit down in my favourite armchair and not have to pluck up courage from sleeping on the floor using every part of my body, including my chin to get myself up to a sitting position.  

But most of all, I felt like a Man, a Husband, a Father and a real person again which is just priceless. Ok, I'll have to wear skateboard armour around the house for a while to get Jenny's confidence in me back again as she's been more traumatised than I've been by my SIDP, especially having been pregnant with son Charlie during the whole thing.

Luckily for me though, I don't remember too much about being a nightmare and today has reprogrammed my memory to being at home post illness, otherwise maybe I'd be very nervous around me too and I'd never readjust to life at home.

So here's a question. How do you affect the people around you? Do you make them nervous? Do you need to take a few hours out to build up their confidence in you? 

It's worth it, I know.

More tomorrow...

Rory Coleman
976 Marathons, 241 Ultras, 9 Guinness World Records, 13 Marathon des Sables, 8256 Days' Dry


  1. I try to remember a saying about 'success'....."If one person has breathed easier because you lived, then you have succeeded" -but yes not always easy!

  2. Here it is...

    To laugh often and love much
    To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children.

    To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends.

    To appreciate beauty
    To find the best in others
    To leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child a garden patch or a redeemed social condition.

    To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

    This is to have succeeded.

    Hi Rory

    Remember me? The camera guy in Spain...Andy. Before I met you I had never run. Now I can not stop, I am so lucky to have met you and found running. It keeps me sane, happy and not too tubby! Keep on that road to success mate. All the best. Andy