Wednesday, 11 May 2016

Empty Spaces - The Pink Floyd

A Million Miles from Here - But I'll get there...

Lyric: How shall I fill, The final places? How should I complete the wall - Waters

Song Choice: Simple, I need some Empty Spaces'.

Christian, who works as part of the crew at the Marathon des Sables, ‘phoned me from France, yesterday morning to ask me how I was. That was my first cry of the day. You see, when you’re ill, everyone wants to know how you are getting on, Facebook and Twitter is a great way of telling folk the basics, but the truth is some people actually want to come and see me, speak to me, call me about what I’m going through 'Are you feeling any better?' 'How long do you think you'll be out of action?' 'What the fuck is that you've got again?' 'Where do you think you got it from?' and ‘Is it Contagious?’ It’s been so heartwarming…

Sadly, I've only got a couple of the answers. I know I have a very serious condition known as Guillian-Barre Syndrome (GBS), I've just ‘Googled’ it again because it's early, and my spelling has become noticeably worsened and I’ve just frightened the shit out of myself again, reading their stories. There’s plenty on-line you can read about what happened to other people that were also unlucky to catch GBS, if you do and then you'll see why beating it, is going to be my biggest ‘Life Challenge’ ever.

All I have to think about now is getting better now and keeping myself mobile as I can to shorten the recovery period for my legs as right now, they are my ‘Weakest Link’.

Life’s becoming a routine of drugs and infusions right now and it's the nights that are the worst. When I say they are the worst, I mean they are Really, really, awfully fucking BAD, Sleeping on a bed is impossible and in a chair very uncomfortable but if I add in a tour of my ward on a Zimmer Frame, it helps make the darkness eventually goes in what I’ve called a ‘Pain Period’.

This ‘Pain Period’ brings out the worst in me too. My in built fear of being claustrophobically suffocated or restrained and makes me a pain in the backside and really affects my mood - It’s actually the antithesis of the life I lead. of enjoying the freedom that my running passion and my business exploits bring.

Yikes, how can I complain today as physically it hasn't been that tough on me, in fact. I've cried with gratitude being visited by a two separate friends that had driven for hours and hours from the other end of the UK just to come and see me and say, ‘What can I do to help?'

It’s a totally overwhelming…and cheered me up no end.

The shame is, that can’t make the pain go away. Right now as I can't lie in bed, I'm sat hunched next to 6 inch gap of an open window on the second floor of the hospital just breathing in some cool fresh air to try and keep my claustrophobia and the pain at bay.

It feels like all my Armageddon’s have come at the same time, by some crazy lining up of the planets including yesterday’s problems (with Uranus - that are still out of this world).

What does it all mean? Well it means that I’m getting nearer to seeing the full GBS Big picture which is going to help me no end.

More tomorrow…

Rory Coleman - 976 Marathons - 241 Ultras - 13 Marathon des Sables 9 Guinness World Records - 8162 Days' Alcohol Free.

No comments:

Post a Comment