Lyric:- 'The pain upstairs that makes his eyeballs ache.' - Summer
Song Choice:- I wanted to use 'King of Pain' for today's blog but I think I prefer the constant level of attack in the music and lyrics of Synchronicity 2 and the line 'The pain upstairs that makes his eyeballs ache', reflects exactly how I feel right now. It's such a shame The Police as Band Members fell out,as they were particularly good and very cool back in the early 80's before the more wailing and self-indulgent Sting Solo nonsense took over IMO.
Anyway, today has been a day of getting used to the fact life will be very different both at home and at work for the next couple of months at least, whilst my immune system rebuilds the anti-bodies which are currently being destroyed by the Guillain-Barré Syndrome (GBS), which has been battering my body for the past month or so.
To have completed a Marathon des Sables in that condition is testament to the fitness that I've obviously built up over the past 22 years or it was just plain stupidity. It's probably the latter but then again how do you know these things at the time - if you are like me, you just battle on even harder in those situations, the 'Go Hard, or Go Home' and 'Toughen up Buttercup' sayings I say so often are just a couple mantras that go thorough ones head when the shit hit's the proverbial fan.
For a Syndrome that affects about 1,200 cases a year in the UK, it's amazing how many of my friends have messaged me to say that they know someone that has been through the whole GBS process with varying degrees of results ranging from a 'long, grim and painful death' to a 'full and speedy 100% recovery'. Somewhere nearer the end of the full and 100% recovery end of Spectrum would be very nice indeed,
It's fuel for thought and it's always good to know all of the outcome possibilities I suppose. It's the overcoming the unknown that I'm working on right now. Following feeling very sorry for myself in the early hours and crawling to the nurses station for some help, it's the sheer amount of pain that GBS produces in your nerve endings that is the real challenge
It's like a cocktail of the muscular pain you get at the end of the Grand Union Canal Race, crossed with breaking a leg, with a bit of Road Traffic Accident thrown in for discomfort and a very angry Jack Bauer from 24 having a go at your undercarriage with and angle-grinder.
Yep, it's all been a bit painful.
But what is pain? Don't give me that 'Pain is Weakness leaving the Body Rubbish', because that's not real pain. You can put a stop to that pain easily by stopping. This pain, you can't, there's no end product, there's no end date in sight it's just you, versus how much you can disassociate yourself with your current predicament and it's associated discomfort. I'm just starting my hours of darkness where the pain upstairs, makes your eyeballs ache,
More tomorrow...I hope.
976 Marathons, 241 Ultras, 9 Guinness World Records, 13 Marathon des Sables